h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

Greetings, RavenX!

Would you please write something on your page - anything - by using the 'Edit page' button...

...this will create a 'Discuss' button, and people will be able to contact you - I know there are persons just waiting to welcome you to h2g2...

*drifting off, in her usual v.e.l.manner*

I thought we had agreed no futher canine references, most especially their body parts and bodily functions.

Having jusy been told to "chuff off" by a Northern friend, I want to know how come chuff, as in 'I am dead chuffed' means a good thing, and 'chuff off' means a bad thing, or is it just that my friend wanted me to disappear nicely?

When and how did breasts become knockers?I mean I thought a knocker was what you got on a front door and that they didn't come in pairs.So what's with the expression "a lovely pair of knockers"?Can anyone elucidate?

I'm glad I don't know. I have just worked hard reading backlogs. And would like to know:

1. Pheroneous: What does BOF stand for (bit of fluff?)
2. Do they have many aardvaarks in Wales?

Boring Old Fart

I thought it was short for BOFFIN.

A good question Pheroneus. In my 'southern' home ; being chuffed meant being pleased. Now I have been cruelly transplanted to the frozen north, which the locals modestly call 'England', I often hear 'will it chuff' as an expression of disbelief and occasionally the example you cite, 'chuff off'. My dictionary gives the meaning as pleased or displeased. Chuff is used in the north, of course, as a substitute for a well known four letter word. My grandmother told me that chuff was the sound that trains made. In my innocent infancy the word chuffer meant a train. Life has abused me such that if one of my local colleagues were to call me a chuffer I would be inclined to tear them off a strip. But a strip of what?

Aaah yes - and while we're at it, what are chips on shoulders made of?

I always thought the expression meant a chip off the shoulder, i.e. sosmething missing which accounted for the person's abrasive manner.

I've heard "chuffin' ek!" (especially by Granville in 'Open All Hours')

Nothing to do with anything, not even (heaven forbid) the subject, but a little example of the spirit of invention of true Brits, heard on the wireless.

Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands butter side down. If you strap a piece of toast (butter side up) to the back of a cat, it will hover just above the ground (the distance relative to the sizes of toast and cat). If you attach a propelling device to the rear end of the cat, you have the basis of a transport system, similar to the linear motor.

If there are any cats out there, how would they feel about being pressed into the service of man in this way?

Are there other words that differ in meaning in different parts of the country?

The Goons used to say "Aardvarks never killed anybody" , but I've never worked out why.
The only commom usage I've come across suggested "aardvarks!" meant the same as damm, blast etc.
On the animal front, animals other than dogs are often used in expressions. One of the less common ones is "playing possum", which I understand means pretending to be dead or unconscious.
I remember a Peanuts cartoon where someone was explaining what "playing possum" meant - the (inevitable) reply was "What do possums' call it?"

"Aardvarks never killed anyone" is a corruption of the oft spoken phrase (usually by the person not doing the work) that "Hard work never killed anyone".

Regarding 'chuff', there *is* the descriptive phrase for a miserly person :

'They're as tight as a knat's chuff'

but I'm unsure if the word is much used in the same context outside that particular expression

This may seem ingenuous, but Aardvark means a variety of anteater and possum means a variety of mammal, more correctly called 'opossum'. More precise descriptions can be found in any good encyclopaedia. The use of these words in any other way is pure metaphor or, in the case of Aardvark, insanity.
How did 'balmy' come to mean demented?

I think the word is 'barmy'.

In the perjorative sense 'chuff' must surely just be a way of using the 'f'-word without using it (As previously discussed), but then how come it has a 'good' alternative meaning. Anyway, its a sea bird, a member of the crow family if memory serves.

For chuff, read anus (as in 'tight as a gnat's chuff' - as a gnats anus is probably very tight indeed).

Sorry if I'm repeating something someone else has said, I just couldn't be bothered to read back more than this page.

Yes, It's 'barmy', and I think it tends to get used more as mad in the sense of a really dumb idea, rather than mad as in raving.
Barm is apparently a brewer's term for yeast. See the entry on beer on :
http://www.takeourword.com/Issue085.html

For language fans, the takeourword site is well worth having a look at.

I have "chuft" for anus,
"chuff" for fart,
"chuffing" for a politer version of effing,
"chuffed" for pleased.

Clearly this is a very complicated word

The bird is called a "chough", pronounced chuff. This rhymes with tough and rough, but not with plough, cough, lough or hiccough.

Do Americans really write "plow"?

Are you ever wrong, G? Particularly to be seen, if memory serves, in Cornwall and Pembrokeshire. I was going to be really clever and suggest that the bird was also known as a 'shag', which would explain one meaning at least, but then I think the Shag is a type of cormorant rather than a crow, though found in the same locations. Hmm Shall have to consult my 'Observers Book of Birds' tonight.