h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>Can I interest you in a weekend break in the world famous ice hotel this winter?>>

Actually, that's an offer I'd take - if it's the original one, that is:
A756047

Our cat can barely get up on the sofa, let alone the fridge freezer.

Not had a cold call in a while, I think I've been put on some sort of weirdo list. I used to flirt heavily with whoever called up, after a couple of times doing that I'd only get blokes phoning, so I'd also flirt with them. Don't get cold calls now really.

That's a wonderful strategy.

Yesterday, I sat here working and listening with one ear to Elektra's rather long phone conversation.

'Yes, yes. No, I disagree. That's not what the Bible says...etc, etc.'

Afterwards, I asked, 'Jehovah's Witnesses?'

She nodded. 'Jehovah's Witnesses.'

I think they call her for a theological discussion about once a month. Much good may it do them.

Oh she sounds intresting to talk to

This time it was a guy. I think he likes my voice because my blather can't be that interesting.

And you know your bible

Not as well as DG, but he was brought up Baptist in the South and they have drills and everything to locate specific verses.

that sounds tough when would you get to use that level of knowledge...

Here in the UK most people rub along quite nicely knowing nothing at all about the bible or religion in general.

We don't get JWs or Mormons anymore--seems elders frown on the person being visited doing the proselytizing

Sounds as if its very different to here

For future cold calls, keep this link handy.

http://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/counterscript.html

I had one 'cold call' that I enjoyed very much.

Brrring... (we only do them one at a time in the US)

I was working from home at the time.

Hello?

We have a salesman who will be in your area next week, we would like to give you a free estimate on aluminium siding for your home.

That sounds very interesting, I replied, I would enjoy taking to him.

OK, next Wednesday about 3:00 PM?

That will be fine I'll be waiting for him.

Let me confirm your address - 300 2nd Ave SE?

That is correct, but be sure to include Pier #3 Slip 42.

You live on a houseboat?

No, I live on a sailboat.

How are you going to put aluminium siding on that?!

That is what I wanted to find out myself - you called me - remember!

Nobody showed up for the estimate

FS

That counterscript is brilliant. I first saw it many years ago, and did once run off a copy to leave by the phone.

I never got around to using it, though. Maybe I'll try again.

These callers are a bloody nuisance Icy - though I do so love getting rid of them You speak of fridge magnets; and clearing your's up. I collect them and my current favourite is a tawny owl with the caption "I've got one nerve left and you're getting on it"

Excellent FS! love that tale.

As for fridge magnets, we got a couple of sets of those poetry ones. A classic romantic set and a cat set. Current poem (for the last three years) : Stroke my pussy, it purrs.

Living in Eastleigh at the moment we're apparently being bombarded by politicians, but they either go round to the posh people's houses or possibly come round when I'm out...
I have had cold calls claiming to be from national newspapers asking me who I'm going to vote for.

I still haven't had any information posted through the door from the Beer Baccy & Crumpet Party, Elvis Loves Pets (Church of the Militant Elvis) Party or Monster Raving Loony Party, only the Lib Dems, Labour, Torries, UKIP, Christian Party and National Health Action Party.

<BB<

Tell me more about the beer baccy and crumpet party. This could be the new direction in politics we've been crying out for for all these years.

I would, but I've not had their leaflet yet. All I can say is apparently the candidate is promoting increased rights for smokers (including a limited reverse of the indoor smoking ban), prevention of pub closures and no tax on alcohol. I'm not sure about the crumpet - whether he means the bread-based snack or women, but he claims it's so that whenever someone sees 'BBC' they'll think of his party, and that 'Crumpet' is an acronym for issues he believes in.

<BB<

I've only had one cold call, it was about a cheap insurance for a freezer where after three years you get a brand new replacement freezer free.

It didn't seem plausible to me and I just said 'but I've got an incurable disease and have only got two years left to live." He replied apologetically that he would give me a free appliance straight away and I told him that the freezer I have is only a few months old, he said he was sorry and hung up.

I just got off the phone with a caller from a charity I've donated to. I was furious. They called my parents number. I never gave them that number. I haven't given anyone that number in over twenty years. I donated to this charity (Planned Parenthood) in December and they've been emailing me repeatedly to renew my annual donation since mid January.

Back when I was in college, I was briefly in Amnesty International. That's gotta be where they got that number. AI has called that number at least once a year ever since. They refuse to stop calling it no matter how many times my father has told them that I don't live there anymore. I've been there on a few occasions when they called and told them to never call that number again.

I asked the Planned Parenthood caller where she got that number and told me I *must have* given them this number. She kept insisting on it, no matter how many times I told her I haven't given ANYONE that number in over twenty years.

As much as I support their mission, especially here in Texas, I'm really starting to regret my donation.