h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh joy of joys, I have a visitor, their name is "Insomnia".

Although they are a frequent visitor, it has been a few months since they last called on me.

They turned up unexpectedly on Friday and now just won't take the hint and leave, so far I have tried turning all the lights off, putting on some low music, reading and watching dreadful early morning tv but to no avail.

So I've decided to come on here and share with you a joke sent to me earlier, which I unashamedly admit made me literally cry with laughter.

A farmer goes out one morning to find a cow by the shed frozen solid. He investigates further and, to his dismay, discovers all of his cows have succumbed to the same fate.

Sitting on his porch, head in hands, he is approached by an elderly lady who enquires of his sadness.

"I'm ruined" he exclaimes "Without my cows I am in no position to financially support my family, we will lose the farm and ultimately our home"

The old lady walks over to a cow and gently rubs it's nose...to the farmers surprise the cow is instantly re-animated and begins chewing the grass. She then proceeds to continue this process until not a single frozen cow can be seen.

When the farmer asks her how he can repay her she replies with a "No need, it was nothing"...then walks away.

A neighbouring farmer sees all this and comes over and says to the now delighted farmer "You know who that was don't you.....

that was THORA HIRD"



Ok, ok, not the best joke in the world and probably "humorously enhanced" by my lack of sleep..........but I liked it

xxElsaxx

Birrrrrrd init

Biiiiiird

Sorry I missed you this morning, you should've txt me hun...mind you could have rung, not like you'd have woke me....LOL

Hope you're all ok....good news about that piccy!!....pleased for you, about time you had something nice happen

laters.....about 4 tomorrow morning lmaopmp

xxElsaxx

Birrrrrrd


Didn't have no credit on me phone to text you or I would have. Is it a date the for 4 tomorrow morning

Yeah it was nice getting the piccy, now I can put a face to the voice. Just like you.

Doubt i'll be on later though because im off somewhere tomoz. Btu if i am coz insomnia gets me i'll let you know.

Take care bird

Zoe

Biiiiiird

No worries, am in the same boat at the moment...and impending "incoming calls" looms... but shouldn't be till the end of this week and will be back on outgoing middle of next

Had a call off someone the other day who I'd sent my piccy to, they said "Loved the piccy and you're EXACTLY how I imagined you.."....pah!!! and here was me thinking I came over all "Kylie" like.....tee hee

Am going to make a concerted effort to try and sleep tonight, I'm shattered and it's playing havoc with my Fibromyalgia, I ache like an Olympic Athlete at the mo and am doing a mighty fine impression of an 80yr old!!...no comments purleeeease..

Call me when you're back from you're travels hun.....I want the gossip.....ooops....erm.....cough....splutter....I mean so I know you're ok...

xxElsaxx

hiya again elsa hun i thought u had fallen off the planet or something lmao soz 2 hear that ur insomnias back again have u been 2 see a quack about it? thanx 4 the msg wot have u been up2 over the last few months then? i've ben busy as always working in a pub and i've got a job working in a care home kitchen as well now so i'll be knackered lol. that joke was bad but i'll excuse u due 2 ur lack of sleep i didn't get much sleep last week as one of r cats died last friday nite and i was in the house on my own, the poor thing died in my arms & i didn't know wot was wrong with him but he wanted 2 go out 4 ages and he kept hiding in the hedge and other people's gardens, so i thought there was a female cat on heat somewhere & that's y he wanted 2 go out. neway chat 2 u l8r and be good lol i'm thinking of getting a everton tattoo done but don't know when yet & it's not coz of needles as i'm blood donor just need 2 find out how much it will cost.

take care & sweet dreams lmao

xxAndyxx

Hunni, so good to hear from you

Yeah, joke was pretty lame but it was the best of the bunch!!...if the insomnia carries on I may just have to start posting them up.....

Just got caught up with things here at home I guess, not intentionally stayed away or anything. Decorated the house LOADS, turned my hand to a few things I didn't think I could do...laid a floor in the kitchen and dining room, re-tiled the kitchen...am impressed with myself

Sorry to hear about the cat Andy...poor thing, sounds like maybe a road accident, they tend to do that, try and hide away. You must've been really upset at that

How are you juggling the 2 jobs?? u got any time for a social life young man!!!

Let me know when you're having the tat done...any idea where on your body you want it??

spk real soon babes, damn good to hear from you BIG

xxElsaxx

the same right back at u as well elsa hunni mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh lol didn't know u were into laying floors couldn't u find a good enough bloke then lmao . i don't think it was a road accident with the cat as he never really went out that much but we don't really want 2 know wot happened with him. i cried my eyes out as he was about 5 or 6 years old & he was in a lot of pain so even if i'd been able 2 get him the vets they wouldn't have been able 2 do anything. i went out and got 8 cans i was that upset. then after midnight i rang my brother in brum as he moved there about a year ago & he said he knew wot was wrong with the cat 2 years ago but didn't do anything about it so i lost my temper and very nearly told him where 2 go there i hung up and switched my fone off. we have got 2 other cats though & r going 2 get them registered with a vet and vaccinated against cat flu,enteritis & feline leukemia, it will cost £60 4 both cats but as far as i'm concerned that's nothing when it comes 2 peace of mind really. anyway i better go as well got things 2 do if u want 2 e-mail me mobile number my e-mail addy is [email protected] don't know where i want the tat yet most probs on my.....????? lmao












arm


take care hun and good 2 hear from u as well

xxandyxx

Laying the floor was more satisfying hun.....lmao

Are you talking to your bro now??

I want another tatoo...dragonflies and butterflies in a "trail" like effect on my spine..somewhere in the middle between the 2 I've got. Then at some point I'd like my boys' names in chinese lettering to either side of the one on the base of my spine. Gotta do some serious saving though lol.

Am off to Essex next w/end....down to Bratty's again...taking the boys this time, staying for about a week, can't wait.

So how's the love life these days??

xxElsaxx

hiya again elsa hun

nope i'm not talking 2 my bro as i'm still wound up about the fact that he could have done something about it. plus the pub where me & my mum work have told us not 2 come back 2 work until we get the other 2 cats sorted out as the way the manager puts it we r a health risk so as far as i'm concerned he can stick his job. i'm happily single 4 the time being lol but i'm window shopping have u spoke 2 tanya since i moved out of her flat as she's now living in wiltshire that's if she is still with her present b/f? i've been offered a full time job in the care home and they have given me until the end of the month 2 decide if i want 2 take it. under the circumstances with the boss from pub being a a-hole i'm planning on taking it as it's better money,better prospects and i'm doing different things instead of just standing around in one place all the time. hope u had a great weekend with the brat and behaved urself lmao


take care and chat soon


xxandyxx