h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervasive in America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6.. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE..'

*wipes tears and rolls a bit more*

Brilliant!

That was a good one.

Elektra is laughing over here. She liked the 'liquid grain storage facility'.

That's the thing about political correctness - it's like telling people not to swear.

They have to get more inventive, because they can't stand not to insult each other.

well well well

Ho yus,

I wonder what Dolly thinks of that lot She trades on her hillbilly background

Loved it btw

Websailor

Dolly says, 'It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.'

She tells it like it is. I can't imagine her having any patience with political correctness

Websailor

Cheers, Hypatia, that was very funny.

Dolly was once asked if the "Dumb blond" jokes bothered her? She smiled brightly and said "Oh! No, sweetie, I know I'm not dumb and I know I'm not blond" . .. ... ........ ........... . . . ..

There are some brilliant quotes on the Net from Dolly. She has the knack of making a pithy comment when the occasion warrants, and she has a great sense of humour.

I have one somewhere about growing old but I can't find it - something about rusting away!!!

Websailor