h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's that time year at the weather forums where the battle between those who love cold weather and those who love mild weather starts. Here is a story (exaggerated) of what it could be like. I am sorry I am a day late but I will make it up today as I have just finished my online weather course.

At the Solar activity thread, which was going into meltdown with forum members getting over excited about going into solar minimum.

"Wow, the sunspot activity has been very low this year, and we are at 15 days sun spotless days and the total this year there has been 181 days of sun spotless days. We'll know what that means, more Northern Blocking, particularly around Greenland and perhaps even Canadian Warming event."

At this moment several weather forum members have started to faint as they are overcome with the thought of higher chances of getting colder temperatures and heavy snow this coming winter for the British Isles and Ireland.

Captain Cold said "I hope that the final sunspot count will exceed 2011 and that the solar flare unit will decrease from 67 to 65".

Other people on the solar activity agreed with Captain Cold even Killer Frost, the Weather Wizard, Iceman and Storm were getting over excited at the prospect of a lower than average solar flare unit along with a very quiet sun.

Captain Cold aka Leonard Snart has become a profession meteorologist and told all the excited Coldies (Cold weather fans) that even the waters of the Baring Straits have been dramatically cooled down by Killer Frost aka Caitlin Snow and the Ice Man aka Bobby Drake. While Storm aka Ororo Munroe and The Weather Wizard aka Mark Mardon have gone down to the Pacific (the waters off Peru) to go and create a weak El Nino. Later on they will go to the Atlantic to create a triangle where there are warm temperatures at the top, cold temperatures in the middle and warm temperatures below. This will greatly increases the chances of colder weather for the whole of Europe.

At the Model discussion threads the meteorologists weather model charts were not having anything of predications of cold weather. There will be strong polar vortex, SW winds with the gulf stream coming through the UK and Ireland. It will become very wet and windy with 100 mph+ winds as well as 12 hours or more of heavy rain and this will last until three weeks or more. There will be no sunshine with mild temperatures with 10 degrees above. According to all the weather models this will last until March but there will be warnings of draught as there has not been enough rain even when there have been widespread floods even in the South East of England. There will be weeks of heavy than average precipitation.

This got Captain Cold fuming as well members of the Coldies super-humans club as they changed the climate. Franklin Richards with the power of his imagination has added trees to all the forests of the world and have Ents guarding the forest trees. Franklin Richards, Supergirl, Superboy, Superman and Powergirl came to the rescue by creating a Sudden Stratospheric Warming Event by mid-November. It was the most intense Stratospheric Warming Event which has the most warmest it ever has and it completely decimated the powerful polar vortex . It was in the sweet spot which should bring colder than average winter temperatures which did not impress the meteorologists who still insisted that it will like 2015 when there was a super strong El Nino and there was a very wet, mild and windy winter for the British Isles and Ireland.

(Captain Cold said "I hope that the final sunspot count will exceed 2011 and that the solar flare unit will decrease from 67 to 65". ) This should have been Captain Cold said "I hope that the final count of sun spotless days will exceed 211 and that the solar flare unit will decrease from 67 to 65".

All quiet on the Solar Activity front as there have been murmurings that we could be going into a grand solar minimum which has sent many forums and social networking sites into meltdown. In the British Isles and Ireland and other places in Europe where the thought of a colder than average winter has sent all the Chionophiles* into a frenzy where they have all gone on to social networking sites especially on the weather forum sites which have all gone down due to the higher amount of users, especially new users which gone up by thousands.


*Chionophiles people who comfort in cold weather and snow

Captain Cold has been working non stop with the cold weather loving superheroes in making sure that Europe gets cold weather and to reverse all the climate change damage and other wrongs. Suddenly these environmental stalwarts who have been hiding on weather forums have come to the public notice which has embarrassed world governments greatly, especially those who are in denial. The Arctic has be refrozen, there are more trees in the Rainforests of the world which has suffered from illegal logging and to protect them they are now protected by Ents. The air, atmosphere, seas, oceans, rivers, waterways have all been made free from all pollution. This has helped the planet to heal and to restore the seasons in the world were there are now defined seasons where there is seasonable weather as weather should be.

This reminds me of TH White:

'You must remember that this was in the old Merry England of Gramarye, when the rosy barons ate with their fingers, and had peacocks served before them with all their tail feathers streaming, or boars' heads with the tusks stuck in again—when there was no unemployment because there were too few people to be unemployed—when the forests rang with knights walloping each other on the helm, and the unicorns in the wintry moonlight stamped with their silver feet and snorted their noble breaths of blue upon the frozen air. Such marvels were great and comfortable ones. But in the Old England there was a greater marvel still. The weather behaved itself.'

Thanks for the helpful advice, I have put this journal in entry form.

In the DC Legends of Tomorrow TV series unicorns are scary as they use their horn to attack people. Deadpool the merc with a mouth is obsessed by unicorns as he sees them all the time.

Scary unicorns? Why not? After all, the word 'unicorn' originally described a rhinoceros.

Using ents to protect the rainforests is a good idea!

The best I can do personally is to keep my rain gardens healthy.
http://www.familyhandyman.com/garden/how-to-build-a-rain-garden-in-your-yard/view-all/

I have rain-garden plants under the eaves of my house and my garden shed. This lets me cultivate moisture-loving plants, both sunloving and shadeloving.

I live in Thurrock and it has it's own micro climate. It has been quite rainy but forecasters say it has been dry. This is part due to the location of the Met Office weather station which is in Greenhithe in Kent which is 5 miles, south of Thurrock. Between Thurrock and Greenhithe is a river which also probably affects the weather as well as Kent tends to be drier than Thurrock. Parts of the garden has become water logged and if it was drier than normal, that would not happened.

I agree using Ents to protect the rain forest, it is a pity that they are not real.