h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They're an eyesore, they smell, they're useless and obviously do not have brains that function properly. What is the point???? Or am I making generalizations?

You're making generalizations. I'm sometimes quite useful.

Hmmm, then I have obviously never met you. All the men I seem to meet are obnoxious. What are you useful at though?

Mmmm, that's a toughie. I make a mean bacon risotto, and have been known to do the washing up afterwards.

Reeeeeeeeeally? Never knew guys could do that....

Needs must when the devil drives, as they say.

I als know the answer to THE question, but it's not nearly as useful as you might suppose.

I know the answer to the question. It's the question to the question that I am still trying to work out.

No, no, no, no! You've got it back to front! It's the answer to the answer that's the question in question here, which is err...mmmm... I think my brain's malfunctioning again! Fzzzt! Crackle! Fzzzt!

Pour water over it. That will solve any problems. But that noise really doesn't sound healthy; you should see a doctor...

Aaah, that's better! Now, was that the doctor, or an electrician...?

You can't tell the difference??? Now you're scaring me....

You mean I wasn't scaring you before? Try this .

Well, they scare me!

Heh heh heh! No, spiders don't scare me; but craneflies certainly do! There aren't many things that do scare me though, what with being a and all...

I'd like to say hello too. After 56 years I haven't worked out what I'm for either. Oh I can cook, sew, weave, crochet and look after my grandchildren.

Alji, of the Red Dragon (Swynwr y Ddraig Goch) (conducting a sun sign poll @ A712595)(Member of The H2G2 Guild of Wizards @ U197895 looking for wiz kids to join, though you don't have to be a wiz kid just know a bit about some subject that you think will be of interest to others or just bore the pants off them. This is an equal opportunities space open to all sexes, ages and abilities)

Crane flies . I'd sooner share my shoes with a pair of my own socks!

Actually, on a second reading

Silly Noggin.

I wouldn't share my shoes with anything.........
But you are silly, Noggin.

Cook, sew, weave and crochet??? Are you sure you're male?

I have three sons and a daughter to prove it!

BTW, I don't like football and I don't drink (appart from the odd glass of wine).

Alji (Member of The Guild of Wizards @ U197895)

Woah... This can not be normal? What is going on? My world view has been turned upside down *sits whimpering in corner*

My wife's grandmother showed me how to crochet when I was 17. One of the first things I made was a shawl with tassels around the edge. I made a hat for my oldest grandson 'cause we couldn't find one small enough to fit him.

Alji (Member of The Guild of Wizards @ U197895)