h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My advice to you is to get out of this state of mind as quickly as possible, and here's why:

Have you ever considered that maybe this is not true love? Perhaps, if you did say 'those words' more often, you might have a better grasp of just what they mean.

True love, of course, exists between two people: this feeling of love comes from both people, or, for purposes at least, I will postulate that it does. Since her feelings are obviously different from yours, the possibility that they are also completely unlike the ones you have, for purposes, again, are highly possible.

And if this is the case, and judging by her responses, is it not possible that she doesn't love you? That maybe you love her, and nothing else. Trust me when I say that I have been in your shoes before. I know how it feels.

You believe that she simply HAS to love you, that she just isn't seeing something that you are. You feel so full of this conviction that you'd do anything simply to bring back those days. The thing is, you'd rather remain ignorant of her true state than have to face the facts.

So let me enlighten: chances are that this woman is a victim of abuse. Obviously, she has problems with intimacy where you do not. She shies away from close relationships because she cannot bring herself to trust you. If there is one thing that is necessary for love, it is trust from both people. Believe me on this, please. I have been in your situation before.

What did I do, when this happened to me? I started writing poetry. It was some vague attempt at getting her back, at first. I thought "If I can write her a good poem, she'll change her ways." And so I wrote. And pretty soon, I was happier with my newfound creativity than I had ever been with her. Most importantly, I had grown as a person, and a few months later fate or luck or god or whoever put me in the relationship that I am in to this very day. I am, at times, incredibly happy; most of all, there is trust.

There is one thing that you have yet to see. There is no perfect love: relationships are hard, confusing, terrifying... but they're worth it. That is, when you make sure you're seeing things as clearly as possible, and that you're not being selfish by taking how you feel and masking her true self with it. Value trust and understanding more than happiness, and you will soon have all three.

Just get out of this: you really don't know what you're doing to yourself. If it helps, read The Great Gatsby several times. Laugh and laugh when Gatsby says "Can't repeat the past? Why, of course you can!"

Best wishes.

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