h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've often wondered what the opposite of charisma is. Not dullness - that's just lack of charisma. I wondered if there was a kind of negative charisma, a kind of repulsiveness that nevertheless pulled everyone in. Now I know there is. I've met the man.

It's voyeuristic, in a way... you hang around hoping to see what horrific, awful, beyond-rude thing he will say or do next.

That sounds decidedly terrible - kind of like a chap I used to work with - or rather - that I used to go round sorting things out once he'd broken them.

A five minute job turned into five hours one night because he got involved



Bassman

Have just listened with horrified fascination as he gave one of my friends at the Job Centre some varbal abuse, because an ad he had placed wasn't worded /exactly/ how he wanted.

That should be *verbal* of course. Don't know what varbals are, but I don't fancy having them abused!

I'm not sure I know what Rambings are either....



Bassman

So I can't type!

I can't speak properly all the time.

I phoned up the local doctor's surgery and asked to speak to the District Nurd one time



Bassman

I'm really bad for Spoonerising things. Like chocolate muffin. Went in to the baker's once and actually asked for a 'mocolate chuffin'.

There's a thread for spoonerisms somewhere - I'll go and look it up one of these days....



Bassman

Great! Have to chack that one out.

One of the girls in the office spoonerises 'front cover'.

I think the most famous one was John Nokes on Blue Peter with his sporks and foons



Bassman

Childhood flashback - I used to say foons because I couldn't pronouce the 'sp' syllable.

One of my faves is Hypodemic Nurdle!!



Bassman

Can't think of anything funny enough to reply to that one!

Kitten

One of our lecturers came up with "scarsely spattered".

When we figured out he had invented a Spoonerism we all agreed that his description was

a) accurate and

b) better than the original

It was a genuine error as he couldn't understand why we were all giggling

I was out with a friend the other day, who followeing directions went straight over a Bounderout in her car....

Has anyone ever heard Jasper Carrotts song "Bastity Chelt" - it's full of spoonerisms - very well done and very funny.



Bassman