h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I, Master B, after having been endowed with several pints of Bass Bitter from the Uplands Tavern, Swansea, am about to taste three new Walkers crisp (potato chip to Americans cousins) flavours, live.

The flavours in question are the new Mediterranean selection bag, consisting of Feta Cheese, Tomato & Basil and Greek Kebab. I shall be tackling them in that order; watch this space.

B

Wow, I'm intrigued!

I'm watching already!

RF

Feta Cheese: Subtle cheesy flavour. Not as unpleasant as the overpowering cheese n' onions. Overtones of Greek oregano and basil. Much nicer than I was expecting.

B

Wow. Can we have marks out of 10 for it??

How could you tell it was *Greek* oregano*?

Inquiring minds want to know...

RF

This all rather reminds me of Loaded's "Crisp World Cup", back in the dim and distant early days when it was actually quite a good read and not stuffed with tits.

They did a Beer World Cup in some mag I read. Becks (Germany) beat Carling (England) on the equivalent of a penalty shootout in the blind taste testing.

Tomato & Basil: A reasonable attempt at a fresh tomato taste, but I can't help but get the feeling that crisps should not taste of salad.

B

And in reply to the backlog that I wasn't expecting to get:

I give Feta Cheese 7/10. And I can tell it's Greek oregano because it tastes slightly resinated.

B

Salad flavour crisps? No thankyou!!

Are they similar to the old Tomato Sauce flavour crisps??

Carling? Isn't that one where they squirt washing-up liquid in at the last moment?

I remember their ad campaign..."in a world that's losing its head, a beer that doesn't."


1. Carling isn't a beer. It's yellow water with added alcohol and "flavourings".
2. The only way to keep that "head" is to add soap to the beer. Which is why it tastes of soap.


RF

I like carling, bit then again, I was weaned on the lagers of Joseph Holt. Now there's a real Mancunian experience for you...

Shit lager? Does anyone remember Guinness Enigma?

No I thought not.

It's product that has been purged from the official history of the Guinness empire with a ruthlessness that would have made Stalin proud.

Ooh-ooh-ooh! Get B and his tastebuds! Can identify Greek oregano!

You sure those tomato & basil flavour aren't sun-dried?

They say you like it sun-dried, tell me is that right?

RF

Greek Kebab: A slightly dissatisfying cross between Walkers Roast Chicken and Marmite flavours.

On the whole, I find the Mediterranean flavours a bit waffy (a Northern term meaning 'weak and pathetic'). I can soundly recommend their Roast Chicken flavour as a masterpiece of creation.

B

I dunno, the Cheese and Onion (on a sandwich) is possibly the pinnacle of crisp creation, although I like Marmite crisps.

And GD, what is this dodgyness about Guinness Lager I hear??

I remember Guinness having a bitter. It were 'orrible.

B

I believe we explored the crapness of Guinness' attempts at lager, and indeed bitter, on another thread recently (searches desultorily in past conversations...no, can't find it).

Anyways, how about their roast lamb and mint sauce flavour? Anyone find the mint sauce too overpowering?(Apart from me, that is...)

RF

Guinness Enigma - first produced in the mid 90s; died, also in the mid 90s.

It was one of those widget in a can beers. It would explode in a fountain of foam if you opened it when warm. If you followed the instructions properly you'd get a glass of totally flat beer with a thick head that looked (and to be frank tasted) suspiciously like shaving foam.

The only positive thing about it was the very good and very expensive Dali-esque TV adverts.