h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Vice and Virtue in Lycurgus' Sparta - A745715
Author: dwight - U193722

Uhh... comment...

......comment

ok, so, didnt do a thesis on this so cant comment on accuracy:

other comments:


you really need to assume that the reader knows nothing, not even where and when this occured. you certainly need historical and geographical context info.

this also goes for the people and texts mentioned. assume we know nothing. if there are any exisiting entires relating to the same period etc then link to them.

you need to put it in guide ml, clear headings etc. at the moment it's likely to induce panic as a huge block of text.

forgive the mildly bitchy comment but it does look rather like an essay you have copied and pasted. this is fine, but it does need adaption for h2g2. perhaps it would be better to split this, do one entry on the spartans, and one on the vice/virtue issue and then link them together.

on the appendixes and the numbers scattered through the text. pretty sure that these cant stay in as they are now. you'll have to incorporate some things in to the text and make others foot notes.

i'm sure there was something else but i've forgotten.



all in all, this has a lot of work needed to make it an accessable guide entry. but it has the potential to be a stonking good one, the info is all there, it's just a case of juggling.
please please please dont abandon this. it would a great thing to have in the guide.

FABT

Seconded. We have the makings of a very good Entry here.

You don't need to put it into GuideML if you don't want to (someone else can do that later for you), but frankly this is very difficult to review in its present form.

First thing to do is split it up into more readable paragraphs within sections. A title for each section would be good.

I suggest you scrap the appendices. (Only Greek scholars know Liddell & Scott.) This will automatically reduce the number of footnotes. If you are not using GuideML, insert the remaining footnotes into the text at the appropriate points, between brackets, marked 'footnote'.

You also need to explain basic things such as Lacedaemonia means Sparta (why the two names?)

Definitely worth working on.

Bels

Lacedaemonia was the state, Sparta was the city. Just as Athens was the city in the city-state of Attica, etc. etc.

A major - if not the main - reason for Sparta's world falling apart was their marriage laws, which, being so restrictive, resulted in dwindling numbers until they could no longer function as a major player.

Seem to be a lot of questions - even disregarding those rhetorical - unanswered here. Is this still a work in progress?

Finally, be careful when only quoting from Plutarch... he's enormously useful because of the sheer volume of his work, but he's not always 100 per cent reliable.

Hi dwight,

Yes, I agree with the other Researchers' comments. It's very difficult to read at present. Large blocks of text are.

It's worth persevering with as the subject looks an interesting one.

Who was Lysurgus? When did he live?

Hi Dwight!

Are you still around? I think these (and the others) are worth working on! If you're busy now, you can remove them from peer review (by clicking on remove) in the peer review index page, and then re-post them later.

Otto