h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Maybe fellow hikers can help me. Me and a mate have been having a discussion on and off for the best part of a year. That is, which is better - oceans or lakes?
Now the ocean wins the first round obviously by having a higher salt content. However this is countered by the lake's ability to be at any altitude - NOT JUST AT SEA-LEVEL.
The ocean on the other hand supports a larger variety of fish and other marine life. But there are only 7 oceans in the world, compared to countless thounsands of lakes.
By far the most convincing argument I think is that in a fight with a platypus the ocean would win, killing it in a matter of hours with its salt. Wheras the lake would give it a home for life, failing in any way to bring an end to it's short, platypus life.

I would appreciate any views.  
 

I think I would definitely pick lakes. I have many reasons for this. I've been to a few oceans, all they succeed in doing is frighten me. Excessively. Oceans always seem too warm to me, like one too many animals and swimmers urinated in it. It is very disconcerting to me. Also there is annoying sea weed that is unescapable. It always seems to find a way to follow you to the beach shore, or you find it later in your swim suit. I prefer lakes because they have less predators. Also they seem to emit a serenity that jumps into the soul. Henry David Thoreau prefered lakes too. Lakes are also usually devoid of the annoying beachgoers in thongs wandering around them, the unsightly scary people (sometimes also in thongs and spandex) and dead fish wahing up to greet you with bloated smiles. I definitely prefer lakes. Altitude consideration overlooked. Maybe I have nothing against oceans, just against people. If the people go to the ocean, I go to the lake.

But surely lakes have a larger number of people per unit area. And those people are usually crowded in one spot. I do agree about the thong thing however. The naked body is said to be a beautiful thing. But not when it belongs to a sixty year old German called Wolfgang, whose skin is 3 sizes too big for him.

When i go to the lake like 40 minutes from my home, there are never people there. Many people have camps and houses along the lake and tend to stay on their property. The side of the lake i go to is very sparsely populated, and that is why I go there. I like to escape the wolfgangs of usa. (Although ive seen a few naked swimmers, also thinking that no one was around. Then you just get a bunch of naked people running around in the woods.) But they arent nearly as offending as the beach goers in thongs. I went to a public beach in Queens once, and saw a scary large man, in a scary small hot pink speedo. I had to seek therapy.

I'm not so sure lakes win outright at all. In my view the best waves happen on oceans. Trying to surf on a lake is a feat in itself. That is why the poncy sport of WINDsurfing was invented. Also, how many decent shells have you found lying on a lakeside. And if you put a shell to your ear, do you not hear the ocean - not some lake.

Well I come frome some poxey little village in the arse end of England and the sea there is extreemly cold because there is no-one in it to urinate and warm it up a bit.
So personally Ii prefer rivers which has absolutely nothing to do with the argument but I had to get it off my chest.
The worst thing about the ocean is living next to a cold one, it gives you that wonderful English weather and the only way to enjoy it is to find a nice warm and toxic proof wet suit and go sailing or cannoeing.

I admit that I do enjoy sea shells from the ocean. That is a present for the ocean to give you since it has scary predators to eat you and waves to drown you. I think sea shells are an apology from the ocean. (except when a broken one splices your foot in half.) I'm sure if i were a surfer I would love the ocean more but alas I am not! My love is still for lakes. If i ever go to your english ocean i will make sure i urinate in it so that it will be warmer. If the idea catches on you may have beach front resorts built overnight. But the toxic proof wet suit will be a good idea still. (after the waste and the urine, they will be hot items on the market)

One good thing about NZ is that being an island (and a rather strangely shaped one at that), we have a very high ratio of coastline to area, as well as a relatively low population. This means that we haven't had the chance to really foul up our oceans with toxic yukkiness (except for the beaches that are near to our cities). There are hundreds of almost completely deserted beaches all around our country, and you can never be more than 2 hours drive from a beach (most people live within an hour). I am only 10 mins from the East (Yukky Auckland coast) and 45 minutes from the amazing surf of the (awesome, untouched) West Coast.

We have some good lakes too, but I definitely prefer the sea.

The sea is bad
Doh!

I live amongst the biggest bunch of lakes in the world. I even have to work on one (Ontario) sometimes. They're just big puddles. The sea, on the other hand (There really is only one), is life soup.

I live inland in hill country in the North of England, there are quite a few lakes there. I've also seen a fair few Oceans in my time. Of the two, I'd say there are more wierd people living by the lakes (those probe to bouts of hick-ness and Squeel piggy-itis) posibly caused by the high altitude thing or maybe inbreading, I don't know. All in all a strange and deadly place.

But then the Oceans hold a fair few weirdos themselves, why just the other day I saw a film about a nice couple on holiday on their delux yacht who upon picking up another apparently nice man fall victim to a series of crazed attacks and torturings culminating in the death of the second nice man who turns out to be crazy-wierd in the head. But thats just a film of course and not at all like real life, err, I hope. I have noticed however that the oceans coupled with large amounts of sun make for a group of poeple who seem a little self obsorbed and reckless at times. You could never really have a California by the lakes.

Or Ibiza

"Sqeel Piggy-itis"? Now there's a Guide entry if ever there was one!

I think I need some clarification on just what "Sqeel Piggy-itis" is (unless of course it is rude)

Have you never seen the film 'Deliverance'? 'SQUEAL LIKE A PIG FOR ME BOY!'.... You know... Inbreeding. Hillbillies. Marriage between cousins. Webbed feet. More than the neccesary amount of fingers. etc

The film deliverence was very disturbing, it began with a bloke playing a banjo at very high speed, that kinda says it all really. It should not be watched unless you feel like becoming one of the DISTURBED. It scared me more than a little, I'll freely admit. The film charted a group of men on a camp out kinda thing in America, they attract the attention of 2 very disturbed men who follow and set upon the group. The 'Squeel Piggy' reference was from one particular scene in which one of the 2 men was doing unmensionable things to a portly gentleman from the original group. Incidently the film ends with the banjo player from the start. Very Disturbing.

Those city slickers had it coming! There ought to be a sequel, in which the even more in-bred next generation take a canoe to Los Angeles and do unmentionable things to Burt Reynolds (Nothing personal, Burt).

This sounds like a reasonable argument for lakes over oceans, I think.

Then I am arguing against myself. To me the beauty of lakes usually lies in what surrounds them (i.e. montains, trees, giant barebreasted Amazons, etc...) The lake itself, any lake, is just a depression full of water. Whereas, the sea is itself a beautiful substance (i.e. salty broth of life).

I've always been a lakes fan (as opposed to a Lakers fan).

The best possible argument for Lakes is Derwentwater, in the English Lake District (you see, nobody ever put together an Ocean District). It's exactly the right size, surrounded by mountains, has a perfectly round and wonderfully pretty island in the middle, and is marvellous to be by at dawn or sunset. Or anytime in between.

Reason number two is a day I spent canoeing at Silver Lake, in Ontario (up near J the G country). The beauty of a canoe is that you can move around almost noiselessly - we got up close and personal with beavers, raccoon, deer, herons, and it was a near-mystical experience. The day ended with barbecue, beer and marshmallows toasted the proper way - on freshly-cut sticks over a wood fire. A perfect day.

On the other hand, my fiancee prefers Oceans because they're wild and untamed, and the very sound of breakers on a rocky shore gets her pulse racing - which has kind of tipped my vote these days too .

Finally there are whales. Many of these are actually bigger than some of our more pathetic English lakes, and they need a 7000 mile migration to stretch their tailfins. Anyone who's never been whale-watching should go this year - from Ireland, California, New Zealand, wherever. They are the most effective way of conveying the scale of the oceans, beating even flying to Hawaii.

As a couple we vote one each .