h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was wandering around in Walmart today, just picking up odds and ends (which everyone seems to need lots of), and just happened to come across something called...








...wait for it...















...Ready?

















Ok, here goes...























Blue Goo Cracked Heel Skin Softener!







I kid you not!

Nice stuff too, smells good, and has emu oil in it.

We'll see how good it really is, since I just put some on my rough, dry feet.











*reads label again*




Uh-oh. I didn't notice it also has lanolin in it - I'm allergic to lanolin!


* to wash off *

*wonders how they drill an emu to strike oil*

Emu oil? They dare to desecrate an animal which stands on one side of the Aussissippian Coat of Arms? Next they'll be eating kangaroo, much as we do, which is the animal on the *other* side of the Aussissippian Coat of Arms!

Incidentally, it's an interesting and completely trivial fact that neither the emu or the kangaroo can take a backward step..... which pretty much means that the Aussissippian Coat of Arms is eventually gonna get crushed.

And I may not be able to take a step backwards (or forwards, for that matter) if I don't go wash this stuff off now!

Don't run! You've got cream on your heels!

______________________________________________________


That's gotta hurt ...

I put some of the shea butter stuff on them from Bath and Body Works. They call it...








...wait for it...














...Ready?









...(what do you mean, "Why are we doing *this* again?" Just play along, ok?)









... Ok, are you ready?












.... Ok, here goes....










Shea it Isn't So!

I'm pleased you think of me when you use it ... just as I think of you when I use a plastic !

I sincerely hope that none of you think of me whist washing your nether regions.

I do indeed think of Shea every time I use the Shea it Isn't So foot cream.

But I rarely use a washcloth for anything any more. I mean a *real* one, not *you*, AW.

My washcloth has never been overly avenging, so no, can't say I do ...

'Blue Goo'? It makes me think of the stuff for putting posters on walls - er, Blu Tak, that's it...

(It actually leaves nasty greasy marks on wallpaper. )

<>

No, don't worry!

Classic Goo is one of the skins you can choose to use on here.

For us old-timers, it's often the *only* skin we'll use!


As the saying goes...

Goo is Blue!
Blue is Goo!

that's a shock after all this time. I thought Avenging's name referred ro a washing up cloth that we use for the dishes. For the body we call it a flannel

That stuff would have come in very handy after I got back from Oz kast year. It took me nigh on 3 or 4 months to get rid of a leathery sole that had grown on my foot after all the walking we did in the outback

Classic Goo is fun, but I like (and use) Brunel... It's a pretty green.

How *do* you deal with cracked heels? I always get them in summer, as I hate wearing shoes.

Oh I thought you already knew that what you call a flannel, we call a washcloth!

There's lots of other things that are called something different... and somewhere around here, there's a list of them. I just don't remember where right now though.


I guess my feet have gotten so bad lately because the weather has gotten warmer, so I'm not wearing actual shoes most of the time, I'm either barefoot or wear flip flops. And then there's all that time I spend in the highly caustic pool water, which really dries them out.

So I do a lot of soaking, pumicing, and lotioning, and they're slowly getting better.

In America, a washcloth *is* what you would call a flannel in England. What you call a washcloth, we call a rag. My intention was to be viewed as a smallish towel, in keeping with the Hitchhiker spirit of things, not some sort of steenking filth wiper.

In NZ we call it a flannel, as well, at least my Mum did...

All this discussion of 'steenking filth wipers' has put me off my

::munches s::

Oooo, if you don't want it can I have your ?