h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*There is a sign on the adamantium door. It reads:
[This is a Live action training arena. The weapons you use are real, as are the enemies and there weapons (if any) are also real. If you are killed VIPER will accept no responsibility, and will not send men to retrieve your body. You have been warned.
-Julian Grey]*

Computer. Start hand to hand combat training. Extreme difficulty

**There is a slight whirring in the background and the round fades into forest environment Holodeck stylee**

Prey

*Marshal is already about 50 meters from the door, but the foliage is so thick you wouldn't know he was there at all if not for the gunfire. Three Venus Man-Traps (large plants that can eat a man whole!) and seven Skaven lie dead at his feet.*
[Marshal] Ah, Axeman! Lovely to see you here at last!

Oh yes, one thing... the room should not be treated as a 'Holodeck', it should be treated as a nightmare, point blank jungle war! The only was out is through the Adamantium door. There are Man-Traps and Skaven here, but there can be almost anything (the room is about 250m by 250 m!). Also, you cannot set the difficulty, you just dive in and fight! (like that'll cause complaints!)

Okey dokey, stand corrected

**The AxeMan appears from out of the undergrowth with Skaven blood dripping off of his axe**

Hmm, fun.

[Marshal] Hey Axeman... DUCK!
*Axeman ducks, and the hammer-weilding Skaven beihnd him takes a VIPER round through the face.*
There. So, what you here for?

Oh, and by the way, the Temple's currently docked at the Clan of the Bobo (A665039) which you might like to visit... I'm sure they won't mind (they're usually very strict on members only entering the clan).

Why are we at the Bobo Clan? Do they have a mission for us or are they just generally weird?

No reason really, I just found the place and thought it might be nice to 'Dock' there for a bit.

we're on a space station of sorts, right? i'm having trouble handling this plus the WF12 all at once

Well it started as a floating building, but I suppose it could be space-worthy...

i'll be putting up me own free-former sometime soon. you up?

Let me know when it's done, I'd be happy to join...

thankee. strapped for time right now.
hey, aren't we supposed to be shooting stuff?

shoulders a pulse rifle and lets looose a burst of 10mm rounds

[Marshal] M-41A Pulse rifle. 99 round clip capacity of 10mm light AP caseless with underslung pump-action grenade launcher... not bad...

*Dharackni wanders in ducking under a low flying Skaven.*
Is there an armoury anywhere near here? I lost my bolt pistol in the last mission. Thought i could get an upgrade...

*The loudspeakers chime into action.*
[Fester] Your attention please. The vessel Khar Siid is under attack from robotic aliens known as Minions. All VIPERs and Cadets willing and able to assist please head for Khar Siid Immediately! (A734735) Anyone assisting should report to Shuttlebay 1, and register with me. That is all.
*Loudspeakers chime again, and are silent.*
[Marshal] You heard the man, Dharackni! Move it! You can pick up your firepower on the way out!

Assume there's an armoury somewhere, okay?

*salutes*
*Leaves*

he looks around for any trouble , his sword firmly in his hands and a stolen MP5 of the chicken man around his back

Sees there is no one about