h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The room is situated on the 4th floor, and shows the layout of the H2G2 world. All the different groups, cults and organisations are shown by glowing runes. The far wall shows a list of potential employers. Marker G-3 (The Sheep Revolt) is currently illuminated, and details are displayed on a large view screen. Fester is reading the data.

*runs immediately to the runes*

Runes!

*Several weapons are pointed at Imgriff. Fester turns to him*
I'm sorry, this area is off-limits to Cadets, please leave.

**The Axeman wanders in with cup steaming mug od in one hand and a in the other. He munches and slurps noisely as he examines the Rune Board**

Hmm, Sheep.

*imgriff seemingly disappears and a cold, somewhat agitated voice rebounds off the walls*

But you said that everyone involved with our previous operation was promoted!

*dissolves quietly*

[Fester] You misunderstand... only half of the team was promoted. If you can become part of another mission, you may become promoted as well.

And why was only half the team promoted?

[Fester] For reasons I am not obliged to reveal to some upstart Elf. If you want promotion that much, then you can help me with something...
*Walks over to the main dias and presses a key. A map appears.*
This is where the Nurgle cult that Zebias found is located. Destroy it, and any Daemons that they have summoned. I'll instruct Pestilence to assist in organising the mission. He'll be in the cafeteria. Do not hesitate to leave.

so when's the briefing?

[Fester] I assume you're referring to JACKAL? Well, we have sighted three of them in various locations around the H2G2 world. The first is Matrix, a hostile computer program capable of assimilating anyone and anything it touches. We thought that Wesker, one of our VIPERS, had destroyed it, but we've had no contact with him for two weeks. After that, the Solar Gear's Tengu Control Unit was stolen, along with a destroyer. It was last seen headed for Khar Siid. I've sent an agent to investigate.

[Fester] The second is Incubus. He's a master with blades, and can deflect bullets, even from a machine gun. He was seen scouting around a base that we visited a while ago. He's probably searching for us. If he found us, he could very well kill us all...
The third is Angel. She wears a while dress and a white mask. She seems invulnerable to harm. Bullets deflect around her, bombs fail to go off, poisons don't poison. No-one has ever touched her. No-one can come close. She's only ever killed two people, but if she ever became as twisted as Incubus or Matrix...

she cute? or at least, a good shape? i'd like to meet her sometime.. well, maybe no on duty.

so these are our archenemies... pretty impressive.

of course, we've got our own stable of demented thrill-killers. i woner, whom to match against whom?

[Fester] Well, Incubus can deflect bullets, Angel can't be hit by them, and Matrix... should be too difficult. But with Pestilence hurt, Marshal out on a mission and many of our VIPERS and Cadets scattered across H2G2...
*Seems deep in thought*

i say we just point some of Khar Siid's orbital weaponry in their general direction. I've learned the Captain has unsealed them. They can vaporize Lake Superior in a beat, pierce the earth's core, and make play-doh out of the remaining fragments.

[Fester] But that would kill us and everyone else on the planet along with them, wouldn't it?

I suppose we'll need to pull some Vipers or hire a mercenary team to go after them.

Fes, the Khar Siid is hailing.



I've just been made aware on the fate of one of your people, Wesker. He's dead, but the thing that took over him has preserved his mind.

He joined up with the Jackals, stole something, went AWOL, and now he's signed up as my Navigator and the Minion is hot on his tail.

I think we should cooperate this time. Also, as one of Wesker's former employers, I could use a background referral on him.

[Fester] Wesker was a tracker. He was skilled in infiltration, as well as having some knowledge of hacking and simmilar. He was noted to be phychically weak, though... If this is Matrix, as I'm sure it is, then it may have developed this weakness...

or maybe not. still, they say 'an enemy of an enemy', so i will trust him this much.

the Khar Siid is undermanned at this point. do you think we should scramble a viper team over there?

[Fester] ...
Meet me in the Hanger bay ASAP. We're moving out!
*Stalks out of the room in a dramatic manner.*

*Knock Knock! Dharackni peers sheepishly round the corner, he still has the remains of his lunch round his mouth. A couple of Grots are behind him laughing*
Go Away! *He shouts, points at a grot and with a flash the grot morphs into a riggling Chaos Spawn. The second grot runs away chased hungrily be the spawn.*
Anyone at home? *he says round the door.*