h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just been contacted by the letting agents of my house back in Belfast.

The tenants want to move due to the death of their baby.

I'm very saddened that they've had such a tragic loss, and of course I'm willing to release them from their tenancy agreement.

But I feel a bit odd moving back into a house where such a tragedy occurred . And I don't know that I feel like telling my own children. I don't believe in ghosts or stuff but....

Oh, how sad.


I don't know what to say.

Milla

If you do tell your children, and they won't move back into the house, will that cause massive or just minor problems.

Did the baby die in the house, or are they just looking for a fresh start elsewhere?

I don't know.

To be honest, I find the idea of selling that house and moving to a new one rather appealing anyway, so I might put it on the market and see what happens.

Look on the bright side: it wasn't your baby or that of a relative or friend of yours. As you might have noticed, my friend has just lost his 9-month old son to meningitis: I held him a couple of weeks earlier. I have no idea what I'm going to say to him when I see him.

Well, yes, I know babies die all the time, sadly.

As you point out - it's hard to find the right words.

Just give him a

... and tell that you don't know what to say... Sometimes that helps more than trying to be kind and missing the target.

Milla

Well, I find that actions speak louder than words, especially in this kind of tragedy. I organised a collection at work, and it looks like we've raised about £400 for the Meningitis Research Fund.

true. I feel quite stupid now, and completely inadequate. Sorry to not have any help to offer or suggest. And for having nothing helpful or comforting to say. I will be quiet now.

I didn't mean to make you feel like that. But I must admit I find it difficult to get upset over a total stranger's tragedy. I tend to get more angry at the circumstances instead.

it's curious how learning such a thing can have such an effect. if the letting agency hadn't passed on the information to you, the baby would have been just as dead, but not at all as far as you were concerned.

but what about where you're living now? if it's an oldish kind of place you can be certain that someone's died there, perhaps been murdered there. or born there.

think of all the blue plaques in london. they mark the most interesting residences of the most interesting people, but imagine if they tried to mark ALL the places evry author, artist or politician ever lived. and if they expanded that to everyone: born here, died here, hung herself here, jumped from window here, smothered baby here, robbed and murdered as he slept here...

domus longa vita brevis... but if we have short memories, they have none at all; a dash of paint and new curtains and here we go again...