h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was having a lovely Sunday...

Dai was a bit under the weather, and my babies were off to see their Dad, just back from a trip to America.

So I packed a whole load of ingredients and went off to Killyleagh and Nigella-ed up some comfort food for the invalid (gammon cooked in coca cola, plus loads of roast root veg with feta), and we sat on the sofa in front of the fire watching back episodes of House.

Kids called to say they be on the 9 o'clock train home. At 9.30, son walked through the door. "Where's daughter?" I ddemanded. "Oh, she got off at the wrong stop" he replied.

What the ing were you doing? What the was she doing?

I asked, before calling her (thank God for mobiles!), ascertaining which station in which dodgy neighbourhood of Belfast she was currently in, before jumping in the car to get her, yelling at my son for not looking after her, and then yelling at her (after making sure she was OK)for not being more attentive.

Then had a really annoying phone call with my Mum. Yes Mum I love you dearly but:

1. The Lord of the Rings is a really good film, but the hero is not called Bingo Boggins. Yes it won loads of Oscars but I can't remember exactly which ones. No I've seen it already and have it on DVD thanks.

2. Junk mail from Luxembourg can go in the bin. No really, you don't have to keep it for me, or post it on to me.

3. Yes I'm coming to my nephews' confirmation but I don't know about the Saturday night (wishing she would give me an invite, or some indication that she'd like us there on the Saturday night, rather than just make the trip up and back on the Sunday)

4.Perestroika is spelled...er..like that.

5. Yess I can take those remaining shoe-boxes of my stuff in the attic which are obviously in your way.

Yeesh.

Then had a calming and soothing long call to my best friend who is very good at getting to the crux of the matter, and who wondered if my frustration at being able to communicate meaningfully with my mother, and my inability to change things, also applied to other areas of my life.

Hmmm.

Bingo Boggins now thats so coolio! but better still is the fact she has got a sence of humour about the mail from Luxembourg (Come in Luxembourg, got a vision of Katie Boil in a evening frock there then!) sending it on to your kids, and who says old age can't be fun just go to the party anyway Perestroika is been comming up in quiet a few crosswords of late, it was 4 across and 15 down in two consective days last week a Perestroika conspricy? the fact you still have stuff in shoe boxes at your mums is coolio!

And finily your mate is correct about the inablity to change things is quite correct, but the fact you find your coummination with your mother meaningfully is normal don't try and change it as you could spend a lifetime trying and miss the great things in life like the company of your mum, the fact you can phone her up, shout at her, tell her stuff that only you can tell her.

RJR