h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Read once that you shouldn't dump someone over the phone coz it's too impersonal. But if you can't face them, it's ok to write a letter.

But have to say I don't agree. I was once dumped by email coz the twit concerned "thought it would be easier". Easier on him of course. No way I'd slap him round the face. Think I'd much rather he'd done it in person, or on the phone at extreme pinch.

I don't think there's a right, wrong or easy way to being dumped. It hurts regardless. Its how you deal with it afterwards that matters. It can be tragic especially if there are kids involved.
Been there, got the 'T' shirt, didn't like it so haven't really bothered since (fortunately no kids involved). Talking to family members or close friends can help.

true, but there's something in having the decency to do it face to face. Think that bugged me more at the time. Would've hurt no matter what, but it just seemed so cowardly to send an email rather than face up to it. At least I may have been able to have a bit more respect for him and value the upfront and honest rather than hiding behind the electronics.

i was dumped a few days ago by email, also once by a text, how bad is that, its a shame she couldnt face up to it either, i mean come on be mature!

I severly doubt seeing someones facewhilethey tell you that your dumped is going to make any difference.

For the dumpee it is just a psychological trick, in all likelyhood it would have hurt as muchin person you just wished it didnt and are cluthching at the starw that in person things would have been different.

Being dumped is crap anyway you dress it up and how it hits you depends on where you are *at* emotionally at the time. All the embarasment, anger or whatever the circumstancesof how you hear is all just dust and chaff thrown up by the fact athat all the plans and emotional investment in respect of this other person you held and possibly still hold so dear have all come to nothing.

Its best to just accept that life moves on just like you have to.

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True that we do have to deal with it whatever way it happens. Can't be good to hang on to a false hope or repress your hurt.

But it sounds like you've never been on the receiving end of one of these emails ot texts, blikey. No offense.

I've been there both face-to-face and by email, and the email definately hurt more. Didn't help that the bloke had promised he wouldn't hurt me, but that's a different point. It really hurt and it bugged me that he he couldn't be bothered to face me. Think he thought I'd slap him or something, which just goes to show how little he thought of me that he thought both that I'd do it, and that he had such little respect for me that he had to hide while he called it off.

The worst way I was ever dumped was by telephone...the reason it was so bad was that she had waited until I was sitting waiting for a job interview when the dreadful call came through....

needless to say I didn't get the job!

And she knew you'd be waiting? That's terrible!!! She could at least have had the decency to wait half an hour. Probably thought "it would be easier" coz you wouldn't want to cause a scene in the waiting room.

Yeah...it was a bit of a cop-out. She used the "let's just be friends..I don't want to hurt you" line,as my heart was ripped out and squashed against the waiting room floor. No prizes for guessing that we didn't remain friends lol

Yeah, it's not a good line. Never knew just what you're supposed to do with it. You can't just jump into meeting for coffee or whatever you do with your friends. But if you're part of the same group, you work together or something else that means you're gonna be about each other, it's weird anyway. Probably best for space, at least initially.

No worries no offense taken at all.

Still Im little worried by the highly charged language, hearts being ripped out, blimey.

Yeah, "lets just be friends" line is lame but, its better than: "Aswell as no longer finding you physically enticing enough to snog/shag I also find your company so deathly dull that I no longer want to even speak to you, please quickly and quietly exit my life. Dont call or contact me in any other way. I want to forget that I ever had the weird notion to become an item with you."

Ive been dumped, who hasnt and shat on from a height in various ways, but that's no reason to feel all self concious. The world is full of interesting and attractive people who I have no wish to hook myslef up with and Im sure that lots of you share this outlook.

The best thing to do is to accept that your erstwhile love has found you interesting and/or attractive enough to take a closer look but has ultimately found you not to be the *special one* for them. Then take relief that you found out before you wasted anymore time with someone who did not reciprocate your feelings.

Hanging on in this situation would mean that you were spending time with someone who was silently gritting their teeth waiting for a "good time" to give you the bad news. I cant say that's a situation Id want.

Good point. I know several people who've been engaged and then broken up, and I think they're glad it ended *before* the "I do". Would be so much worse to have to go through divorce rather than just breaking up.

No worries...I'm not moping about or broken hearted about it,just holding it up as an example of how not to get dumped. I myself am useless at breaking up with people. One ex girlfriend took it so badly that I felt guilty and took her back a few days later. Gutless of me,I know.

She wasn't the one who dumped you in the waiting room? Getting her own back? That'd be even more cruel.