h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The cat bible - A693434
Author: Caiptain A.J. Rimmer Space adventurer - U189740

A desription of the cats belief.

I think this entry is would more properly fit with the Alternative Writers' Workshop rather than Peer Review as PR is for factual entries. It would be much more at home there.

Actually, this *is* factual -- it's a description of a key bit from the TV series "Red Dwarf". However, I think it might be elaborated a bit, as I don't think it's very clear to someone who isn't as devoted a Red Dwarf fan as Captain Rimmer (*cough, cough*) and I are.


Mikey

Wherever this ends up, it needs a lot of work! It is full of mis-spellings. Being presented as a big chunk of text without any breaks also makes it very difficult to read. You need to put in some paragraph breaks, some headings and so on. It will need a proper introduction: "Red Dwarf is a science-fiction comedy series which has run on British television for over xx years..." or something along those lines.

Right I fully agree with Singing Fish, and I must also add that if you want this thing, anywhere you got to put more into it. To start you should break that huge paragraph up. If you aren't you should use Guide ML. Best of Luck.

heart of Darkness

I'd start at the <./>GuideML-Clinic</.> and if you sort out the formatting and spelling, and maybe extend your Entry a touch, then it'll probably be ready. Not a bad start, though.

Whoami?

i would say that the entry is very hard to read, that if you do not want to do GuideML, you can just hit return in a few well placed spots, but if you do want to use GuideML, use the tag in place of returns, ?

Hi Ace!

Just to say, don't be put off by the comments you've had so far. They're meant to help shape the entry into a form where it is recommendable for the Edited Guide.

Do post again once you've made the necessary amendments and don't forget, you can always ask for help if you need it (although having had a look at your personal space, you shouldn't need technical help).

I think the title needs to include a reference to red dwarf.

I'd expect a little more from this entry than a repetition of the plot of one episode - not least because otherwise it's in danger of failing the originality test.

Perhaps some comment on how this is a clever satire on how religions are changed from their origins, and how holy wars can be fought over the most insignificant (to an outsider) things. There's also a comment on the self-denial inherent in many religions in the surviving commandment.

Also, there were different versions in the books and the series, and this should be explained. In one version it was as in the entry, in the other version the debate is whether the human was named Cloister or Clister (or some such).

I do like these kinds of entries, but I do think they have to go a little further than this.