h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stop Lurking around and get typing at some people.
Hmm, doesn't have the same ring as the original, but it will have to do.

How did you get in here?

Security!

If they are anything like our security they are all away for the day "at a meeting". Am I supposed to believe that considering the date?

Other Mog's wedding? Nobody tells me anything? What's that all about then?

Well, you know Morag/Other Mog? She's getting married to one of Canboy's friends and I have been invited.

Park Circus registry office at 2, followed by the (no doubt somewhat 'Prince of Thieves') blessing in the park. Kay-lee to be held at Partick Burgh Halls this evening.

It's all go on the social front and no mistake.

Good Grief, and I never got to slap either of them. A blessin in the park? All sounds a bit wiggy and unusual, so no surprises there then. You are a bit of a dark horse socially aren't you? Gallivanting round with your young friends. Never catch me doing that. Old decrepits all the way.
Enjoy.

I'm sure he doesn't count you as an old decrepit, dear.

That probably refers to the poor souls he knew as sprightly youths, only to see them corrupted by age.

You're a new decrepit at worst.

Well one of us is in serious danger, that's for sure. May I recommend your extra strong underpants when I am up in October.

Oh, and how went the do? And who is this "friend fo Canboy" of which you speak?

Well, he's ginger, Irish and not Canboy or McGuilty.

The blessing was entertainingly LARPish (they had a sparkler for the element of fire).

Went to the Kaled, sat around, was old and grumpy with God. And I had to listen to the Purple Man, Teddy Bear AND Butcher Dance jokes, which was far more draining than any Hooligan's Jig.

I'd give it 6.5 out of ten. I would not recommend marriage to anyone of my age.

There are very few that can claim they have sat around, old and grumpy, with God. And most of them end up trying to get beamed up to the mothership or living on the Isle of Wight.

Tamsin's Sister and Tamsin's Sister's Sister (who I don't think you've met) were there.

Their comment on seeing me in my BeerFest suit was "StAN! You're wearing matching clothes!"

And Judith called it 'Very Wheatmen'.

And here was me thinking I had a certain sartorial reputation amongst the younger crowd.

I believe I met Tamsin's sister once, but I may well have been drunk, on of htose rare occasions.
So, your suit didn't smell too much of beer then, if you could pull off a Wheatmen look?

Beer, no.

But as the Sun made an unexpected appearance and warmed up the throng gathered for the blessing, it did beging to exude a cloud of Dry Cleaning chemicals which swept down to the Kelvin, leaving only death and decay behind it.

I went home between then and the kaylee and stuck it on the washing line to air.

I did, of course, mean Tamsin's Sister's Sister. This thinking at work larkey is not going well at all.

Yes, I sort of assumed that.

Particularly since Tamsin's Sister is the subject of Munchkinstein Approved Anecdote No 0008.

'... I finished my pint and departed the kitchen.'

Hmmm, yes.

Anyhoo, so what you going to do now that all your social plans for two weeks time are so much ash in the fire grate of life?

Await my cheque.

And why the bobbins did they need 100 members? That means they needed 2k to be viable, which to me indicateds that THEY BOOKED TOO MANY ROOMS. AGAIN.

I don't dispute that my duffness contributed in part to the downfall of Hypo '01, but surley they could have leaned some lessons from that.

Or even one lesson.

Just a wee one.