h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I was in college, a team of suicide-commando squirrels shut down a fair chunk of the town's electrical power for about two days by chewing through the town's main electrical transformer. If you had been there you could have shared in the squirrel crisps that several thousand volts created.

At least they'd have come in the right colour packet.

At least they'd have come in the right colour packet.

So is this why squirrels always look a bit highly strung and nervous, because they're planning suicide attacks on powe stations and whatnot. The world makes sense now.

Almost. This is true for grey squirrels. Red squirrels look nervous as they're very near to extinction due to grey squirrels duffing them up for their lunch money.

My old schools music block burned down when squirrels gnawed through a power cable which sparked. Oh, and they took out our phone line once... Evil buggers aren't they.

was there still instruments and stuff in the block? i bet that's part of an evil plan of theirs 2 get rid of all the music in the world and replace it with squeaky squirrel noise.

Yep, took out 5 pianos, one drum set, one electric drum set, and all my old music teachers personal compositions. Not too good for him...

~SQUEAK~

I was in Australia last summer, and they have squirrels with wings so they can't keep them out of, say, the electrical substation supplying the whole of N Sydney. The power cut lasted a good couple of hours.

Blimey, considering that N.Sydney is a hell of a lot of land those squirrels really know their electric power systems.

Either that or it was a massive coordinated attack on all electrical looking installations which just happened to hit the right spot.

Might even be part an ongoing series of squirrel experiments to determine how to cause maximum disruption in the hope of extracting a large ransom from world governments in the form of nuts...

I wonder when they're going to annex Yorkshire?

help we are being invaded by hordes of marauding grey squirrels.
oh my God what are they doing with that bazooka.........urrrghoooorghhh........................................................................................

Bazookas? Fine, Quake has taught me something at least. It's the bushy tails I don't like...

I don't think that the squirrels are attacking our power lines to destroy us or anything, they're probably just oppositely charged to the power lines and get attracted to them like a magnet.

Atleast, thats waht the squirrel with the gun to my head is telling me to type...

Um, OK...

Tell the squirrel to go away...

Squirrels won't just go away if you tell them. It usually takes a good chasing with a stick. At college, we played squirrel tag. The object being to take a squirrel it and hope it doesn't takg you back. I'm guessing i was the tag record holder with 30some odd consecutive tags, but I was told they didn't really count 'cause it was a baby squirrel who was too affraid to run way. I was pretty affraid though cause the mother squirrel was sitting in a tree a couple metere's up chattering at me. I was convinced that if I exposed my neck, she was goning to leap on me and rip out my jugular

Oh, and I don't believe for a minute that they were just randomly hopping around and chewing on the power lines. They know of our dependance on electricity and are planning on making numerous coordinated suicide runs on our power substations when the squirrelgeddon comes. These attacks show their selfless devotion to the obliteration of humanity... notice how they attack power lines in different parts of the world so the incidents appear to be random? See how they attempt to destroy our cultural heritage by stopping kids from learning music? Although, if we could prove that opposite charge thing, we could probalby develop some powerful anti-squirrel weapons.

Chris

Here's a theory:

Britain developed it's empiric tendencies with the aid of our native red squirrels. Think of them as friendly Jedi squirrels.

As soon as the population got replaced by continental grey squirrels (the sith of squirrels) the empire could not support itself and collapsed.

Which just goes to show that you can never trust a grey squirrel...