h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Behind a series of doors, the first the standard wooden castle door, the second a security checkpoint door, and the third a blast door, you find a nice little suite like you would find on the Starpilot Hotel (A666074 come visit!). At least, it would be nice, if it weren't for the fact that a myriad of guns, lenses, and things that look like the guts of a computer didn't clutter the whole place. There is a bunch of beakers on the kitchen counter and, strangely, a vacuum cleaner hanging on a hook by the door. It doesn't look like it's been used in a while, by the condition of the floor, and now you realize why: there is a vicious-looking butcher knife sticking out of the front of it. The bag reads Lipo-Sucker 2002.

I come in proxy for all of the Mercs, just link to our page at A725726 on the front, not anyone's Upage. And remember, you gave us the rights here as partial payment for the Dragonhouse job, ex.

*remembers the theme of the place is Haunted styling*
*a bunch of SHSS employees come in and change the entire look of the place*
You do a double-take. The room has left the hotel and suddenly moved to transylvania! The weapons, beakers, computer parts, and strange vacuum remain, but almost nothing else does. The entire place has been redone in Gothic styling. Need I say more? The gargoyles in the corners of each room seem to have glinting eyes... You think you can hear the word "Help!" being screamed from the other room, which seems to have been redone into a dungeon. The chairs stay the same, nice and comfy recliners, but they have been painted gray.

Oooops! Should have read that last part before i sat down. I`m all paint now.

*the paint dries*

And, she's stuck!

Looks like the only way out of this one is to climb out of my clothes. Now, close your eyes

*sets up a small screen around the far armchair*

*walks in the door, looking around very suspiciously, and then closes it behind him and walks to the restroom in the back*
*flush*
Ahhh, the perfect place to lay low for a while. *grabs a *

Hello? I'll maim for money, as long as someone thinks it's a good cause. Nobody here? Anybody here?

I'm hiding, shhhh... If you want a job, walk through this portal *a portal opens to A725726 * and ask for Krans or Njan in the Negotiations forum...

*wanders out to view the "arcane writings"* *thinks the picture of a spacecraft is a horrid representation, and most closely resembles Yo's U-Haul Startank...* *wanders back in and grabs some paint* *wanders out, and after a time, he walks deliberately back in (for a change form all of this wandering) and think's he's done a service*

A bat flies into the room with a note tied to it. Choosing to hang from one of the gargoyels in the corners of the room, the note drops off and falls to the floor. It reads:

"Attention: Goddess Seaking play thing for use in her dungeon. Must enjoy pain, ability to heal well and comfortable with leather also a plus. Males prefured, particularly good looking ones, but will not object to a female to introduce to the arts of pain."

Directing all interested parties to F82423?thread=161708&skip=60&show=20

*burns the note, and then burns the bat for bringing the note, and then chucks it out of the room*

*nails a sign on the front which reads: RING THE BELL OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES*

Ding-Dong!!

*walks out and pushes the "all doors open" button* C'mon in...

*walks up to the door, carrying her poor burned bat. Sees notice and rings door bell*

Ding-Dong!!

*looks at the security cam* Sorry 'bout the bat, SG, but you can't come in...

*grumbles and heads back to dungeon... trying to decide how to punish Venom*

*seals off the room with the various blast doors and steel walls provided by the Merc. management and arms himself to the hilt* *releases small fly-like device to crawl through the castle walls and reach the SG Dungeon, then sits at the bugging console*