h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think my name says it all

Hey now, guys can be confusing too!!! I mean, Aaron confused me enough that it took me a year and a half to find out if he likes me...and that was after he left NC.

I guess being confused is just the way we are supposed to be.

Faluni, was it!??? Welcome to the club, love... she thinks you should not be together!?? Talk to her about why... see if you can resolve it... but if she isn't willing to compromise and help out with whatever's making her want to break up.... HErrrmmm.... Maybe you ought to move on, dearheart...

Yeah, I agree with Dragonfly, talk and see what's going on, why there are doubts. I've doubted things like that before, but after talking through it, it helped me out a lot. Maybe that can help you guys out too.

ok, you solved that one - now how the f**k am I supposed to look after somebody whose thousands of miles away? ("do your best" dont count) @planes not being free @immigration

digital cameras, voice recordings, email and IMs are my answer...It isn't like being with your love, but it is nice to see recent photos and hear his/her voice often...

as far as being confused goes: I've been confused in the past, but this time was very different...we actually met online and fell hopelessly in love without ever meeting in person..this summer I went on a vacation to Serbia and we had a wonderful time together... no confusion what-so-ever...being completely open about how you feel helps that a lot

You can't really take care of someone from a distance, as I was made horribly aware of when Sanja (that's her name ) was nearly killed and wound up in the hospital for a month...she only survived by some miracle... I can definitely say that is the most helpless and powerless I have ever felt... however, a large part of her recovery, she contends, was due to my constant "presence" there in the form of pictures of me every day and my recording myself reading a book to her, as well as talking daily on an IM (which we always do anyway) She is already nearly back to normal despite all odds against it, and hopefully by next summer we will be together (though the immigration thing is currently my only worry... Anyone happen to know the immigration policies for Yugoslavia? I haven't got a response from the embassy yet)

anyway, once you find something that is *right*, hold on tight and make every moment count, because forever isn't that long.....

Well the *problem* with my relationship is this stupid war...any ideas on how to stop that so that Aaron can come home? If so, then my worries are over...I can deal with being a few states apart, but it's really hard on me now because we are thousands of miles apart and we can rarely talk...I get random letters from time to time (finally got another one today), but I can't talk to him on the phone and can't email him while he is there...so it's pretty hard to deal with. But I still love him, and I'm definately not letting him go.

OUCH... that's really tough... Hiram is right(sorry if I ruined your nickname): The little things count. And your story made me tear up, too!!!

What helps my relationship with Ian is remembering what we have done in the past, and laughing about them and going over them again together; sharing shared experiences again. It takes you back to the time when things were good, and you are reminded of why you love each other so.

I'm lucky in that I tend to record much of my life, since I am a writer. So I have a lot of written material to draw from.

A cool gift you can give any dear loved one is what I call a MEMORY JAR. A cheap but wonderful gift. Get a decorative jar, or just a simple jar.... if the loved one loves Peanuts, a peanut jar would be great(but make sure it is clean and dry, hee hee... ). Get out some paper and write memories on it, and cut out each memory, fold it up, and put it in the jar. It doesn't have to be full. For the nest birthday or holiday, you can send an envelope with more memories in it... AWWWW....

similar to Hirams third paragraph....only it'd take all of an hour to sort it out if only I could get there....but they wont even let me into the damned country even just for a day until March

Yeah, I dunno what she wants. I'm going back to the UK (to see her, whether or not she wants to is another matter!) on the 27th Dec, so maybe we can sort it out then. Fingers crossed! Thing is, she told me she doesn't know whether we should still go out or not ON our 1st Year anniversary. Slightly harsh? Especially seeing as I spent £70 on 12 Red roses for her!
Situation is, we met coz she used to go out with one of my friends when they were about 14. Now she's at Uni, and I'm working for the Foreign Office in Nigeria. I can go home more often than some people on this board (and for that, I salute you! Well done, I just can't cope for over a month without her), but I need to get time off work, and also she's at University, trying to become independent, and maybe she just feels tied down by it. I dunno - we always said we should have met 6-7 years later so we could just bypass all this crap and get married!
Right - question is now, do I buy her a Christmas present? If so, a big expensive one, or would that scare her? Help me again people!

I wouldn't buy her a present... you are going to see her and you care very much about the relationship and you want to work towards a resolution instead of letting her problems go ignored. But a card never ever hurts, especially if she seems quite resistant to hear you... perhaps she will read a card and ruminate over your feelings...

YOU are her present...

But Don't just take my word, I'm a bit of an unusual girl-- very romantic, but not the stereotypical girl who wants THINGS to know she is loved...

How does your girlfriend respond to romantic material gestures, aka gifts!??

I really dont know but I'll tell you what I'm doing.....I dont get to see her till March so things are a bit different but, anyway...

All I've done is taken the time out to create a rather spiffy HTML email with hearts, flowers and (naughtily) some smileys from somewhere....with an explanation of why each is relevant....for example

because I dont get to see you
because even though I dont get to see you, I do get to think about you.


and you get the idea.

In short, as wet as you can get

Awww... that's so very sweet!!!

Awww, I'm jealous!! Aaron can't get online while he is there, and I've been told that they are not allowing people to send gifts over there now...luckily I did send food before they said that, but it still sucks. If I want to be spontaneous or sweet, I can't now. I don't know what to do. I send little cards all the time, but that gets old. Any ideas on other things I could do for him while he's there?

Dragonfly: I'm not the typical girl relationship wise either. I don't really expect gifts from guys or anything. I never know what to say when I do get something from a guy...which part of it may be that most guys I've gone out with have been jerks and didn't care enough to do anything sweet for me. It definately surprised me when Aaron said he bought me jewelry (a ring of some kind...yay...I can only hope ) but I still don't know how to react to that...weird!

Awwwww.... Now I miss Ian a lot... he's off to Spain.... With his mommy for Christmas... oh well...

I tore out some pages from a magazine-- it was like the ten hottest guys issue of People or something.... and I highlighted everything that I thought about Ian, and sent it to him...

You can always send off articles in addition to cards....

At least he is spending time with family for Christmas...although it would still be better if he was with you, right? Wish Aaron was here, but he did call his mom and told her tell me that he sends his love and wishes me a happy holiday.

I'll try to keep the article idea in mind. Maybe I can find something good to send. He'd probably like that.

It's fun!!!

I want him to be with his mother this Christmas. They lost his father just this spring...

Family is very important...

Yes, family is very important. It seems that Aaron and his family are very close, and that makes me feel good...since I have 4 parents and sometimes it's really hard to deal with all of them. It's really hard on me...but I make do with it. Aaron's family is so supportive for me through all of this stuff going on (with him being gone and all) and it makes me wish my family was more open and caring about those types of things...

Anyways, in case I get busy and can't get online anytime soon, Merry Christmas you guys!!

family....


easiest way to deal with them?

Keep a polite distance at all times