h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was reading through my RSS feeds this morning when I came across one article that made me spit out my English Breakfast.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html?ex=1284868800&en=6a8c0c493c0d4249&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

These women, who have practically had their educations handed to them, say they /want/ to become stay-at-home moms!

I mean, not that being a mom is a bad thing, but you really don't have to go through six-odd years of college/grad/med/law school to do it. Might as well get knocked up right out of high school and save yourself the student loans. They claim their education will help them get better part-time jobs, and let them raise their kids.

God, I wonder how wonderful motherhood will be when they're cleaning vomit off their versace.

I mean, did the past thirty years even happen, or did I just wake up from a dream? Aren't women supposed to be able to have as much as men do? Aren't they allowed to step away from the stove for a while and have an actual career?

One of them even said that she's seen kids with stay-at-home moms, and kids without. I have news for that snotty little rich spoiled brat- my mom worked not only because she had to or we wouldn't be able to make bills, but because she loved her job. I think if she didn't she would have been on Prozac a long time ago.

Maybe someday these poor deluded rich girls will see what life is really like- I just hope they're not into their third marriage when they do. Hopefully they won't screw their kids' lives up.

Well mizzp as you know is a stay at home mom, or was, she has had a very good education, and she would not be pleased to see you claiming that she had wasted it.

She is having to go to work now due to finances. But if she is uneducated then how is she able to educate her child. And these women are right, it does put you in better stead for getting a part time job. Not everyone wants to work behind the counter of KFC!

Cal, it's different here in America- an education is much more expensive.

Scan in England we too now and have done for a while, have to pay for a university education. The fees are that expensive now, it's stopping a lot of people from going,

And the men win again! *does a little victory dance* like we do with IQ tests, general knowlege test, music/arts tests etc.

On a serious note, what will they do if they marry someone who wants to be a stay-at-home dad?

Are these the type of girls who go to uni to get an MRS, as you put it

Cal I don't think Scan is having a pop at stay at home mum's in general and I'm sure MizzP is doing what she is sure is right for them all, but I can see where Scan is coming from, why waste x amount of years in a top university and then do sod all with your degree, that place could have been given to someone who actually wants to go out there and use their degree for the common good. Also childcare costs are extortionate almost half of my wages went to pay my childminder, sometimes I wondered whether it was worth me working or living off the state, although that was 10 years ago so things might be different

Thanks, Reef, that's exactly what I wanted to say- if you're not going to use your degree to do something worthwhile, let someone else have the place in the uni that will. I'm not saying that being a mom isn't worthwhile- heck no! I'm just saying that you don't need to go to the top universities and incur $10-$50,000 worth of debt to do it. Let someone else have that money.

S'ok Scan, glad I could help

One of my friends wants to be a stay-at-home dad once he and his wife start having sproglets. He has various letters after his name... He'll go back to work eventually, but wants to be with their kids for the first few years of their childhood.

I guess I can see all possible sides of the argument, and my reaction is thus .

ladies lets not forget that children don't stay children forever

and to use mizzp as an example again (sorry sweetie) if she had not gotten herself a good education she really would be up the creek without a paddle now wouldn't she, now she "has" to return to work

Yeah- they only stay children for 18 years.

The thing is these people are going to Ivy League schools- Princeton, not Akron! I mean, I could understand Akron, it's a bit cheaper and you still get enough nice letters after your name to get a better part time job, but wasting all that time and effort on an Ivy League school? Keep in mind, the way I'm reading the article, they're trust fund babies, too. Let them go to the working-class schools and see how the other half lives.

I have no problem with stay at home moms, or people who want to be them getting an education- I think that's great. Roll on Mizzp! I just think if someone attending a top university is not going to put their degree to use in the manner in which it was intended, they should give their spot to someone who will- male or female.

Amazing that women can have such foresight about what they want to do with their lives at that age. If someone had mentioned the "m" word or the "b" word to me any time before I was 25 I would have run like a bullet...

My mum said this to me when I first got together with my ex, "Have fun first, the kids can wait" which I did, I went to college, I travelled, I went out and partied then I settled down and had Alex, why would any woman spend all that money to get a top level education and not use it, that's something I can't understand.

I don't think that an education is ever wasted, no matter what career path one takes afterwards. It has an impact on every decision one makes and every life one comes in contact with. And what difference does it make if it is a degree from State U or Princeton? Defining the value of an education in terms of earning power is misguided.

And with the elementary and secondary education system (in the US) lagging behind other countries results, maybe it is a good thing that these highly educated moms will be taking some time to attend school board meetings.

I have read all the above posts with mixed feelings. At first I thought that having children was not regarded as a worthwhile occupation then that if you go to Uni you should work for years to justify it. That was to some extent true when the state was paying the fees, but now students have to finance themselves.

Many will be saddled with enormous debts that will take years to clear, if they are lucky enough to get jobs suited to their degrees, and that isn't a foregone conclusion now - many, many graduates are out of work, especially doctors!!

If women pursue a career relevant to their degree then, if they are very lucky, they might become mothers rather late in life. Unfortunately many then find they are unable to conceive.

Now, I wonder, which will they regret most in later life - a lesser education, or no children

I think I agree with Witty that no education is EVER wasted, and you can pass your knowledge on to your children, if you are lucky enough to have them. Of course, those that don't want children can please themselves.

Another thing that is noticeable here in the UK. Many are taking degrees in subjects which do not lead to a profession, and are in effect token degrees. At one time any degree was acceptable but that is less so now.

I truly believe that the idea that a woman can "have it all" is becoming outdated. After all, on your deathbed, will you regret the number of hours you didn't spend in the office, or the number of hours you didn't spend with your children?

Those that do have it all, either have huge family support, or can afford to pay for childcare. I do wonder what is the point of having children if you spend hardly any time with them, and they are brought up by others.

My thoughts only - as a Libran, as usual, I sit on the fence

One last thought - some of the saddest words in the English Language are - "If Only" and "Too Late".

Websailor

Scan, you and I see eye to eye on a lot of things, but not this. Frankly, if these women want to be stay-at-home moms, why not?

The whole point of feminism is to allow women to make choices about their lives, whatever those choices are. If a woman wants to get a good education, and then be a stay at home mother, who are you, or I, or anyone else, to judge that decision? If a woman is economically able to do that, more power to her.

For years we were fed the myth of the superwoman. Some women are now seeing through that, and believe me, as much as I love my daughter, having her and trying to get a graduate degree at the same time is not something I would wish on anyone.

The education isn't "wasted" and your assumption that it *is* wasted is, well, somewhat specious. A well-educated parent is better able to raise a child. And well-adjusted children are a benefit to ALL of society.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I'm not going to get that choice- I will have to get a job to support any kind of lifestyle other than government commodity cheese. I'll have to support myself, my parents (eventually) and quite possibly my grandparents along with myself and any kids that I might have should the dad turn out to be a deadbeat.

I do kind of understand wanting an education as a safety net, and I support educated stay-at-home moms. But Ivy league educated stay-at-home moms? Tell me- who gets into Ivy League schools, and who can pay for Ivy League schools?

Once again, back to my point- if they're going to the top schools just to get an MRS, they should re-evaluate, maybe go to one of the less high-powered institutions, and let someone who actually wants something to do with the degree have a chance. That was me at one point- I applied to Ivy League institutions, got gapped, and ended up going to Akron. Not that I regret anything I did, but I'm sure there's another "me" out there who does.

I should really think of the things I want to say before I hit post...

And another thing! These girls seem to be painting an awfully rosy picture of married life and motherhood for them to want to give up a career for it. I have to wonder if they've ever taken care of a baby or had a long-term relationship in the first place. I'm wondering if this trend is going to create another "Mother's Little Helper" trend in the upper crust.

The whole nanny thing- known scientifically as allomother. Having someone help take care of your kids is completely natural. Name two social animals that doesn't display the behavior of having a nanny, and I'll eat my . Birds do it, wolves do it, dolphins do it, hyenas do it, I'm pretty sure lions do it, I know apes do it- why shouldn't today's moms have help, whether it's from a paid nanny, a co-op day care, or from a relative?

Oh, now I'm with you on the nanny thing, believe me. I'd like a nanny for D. And a maid for me. But that's not going to happen, so okay then.

Scan, the reason they go to the ivy league schools is so they can meet the ivy league hubbies who will make enough for them to stay home...

Sorry everyone- I've just had a really bad day, compounded by a few of the MRS seekers, that has made me wish I was among them. I think I need a really , some antihistamines, and a clone to do all the work while I get rid of this Black Death thing that's been following me around all weekend.