h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It was Spring 1983. The field trip for my grade was three days away. Dad and I were going through the list of items the school suggested we bring. Had them all except for a dress and a bag. Dad gave me a duffle bag that was in the closet. It was a safety award from the plant where he worked. It was new and big enough for what I needed.

Then he said ''We need to get a towel for your trip''.

''Towel?, why a towel?'' I asked.

''Because you never know what they will actually have and when you may need it, we will get one tomorrow on the way home.''. Twenty minutes in a JC Penney and fifteen minutes in a Kmart, mission accomplished. Home before dinner was done.

The morning we were to leave for Mobile, Dad drove me to school. He had to stop to get a prescription filled. So, 7:00 A.M. we were in a K&B nearest our house. I had to pick up a cosmetic item for the trip and Dad said ''I'll be at the pharmacy counter, get a book for the trip.''. I can see the pharmacy from the book corner. I looked through the paperbacks and I saw that Dad was at the counter and the pharmacist had gotten to him quickly. So, I looked at the three 'most likely books' that I had in my hand, put two back and kept the one with the thumb on the cover. No time to read the back cover. We paid for the book and other item and left. As I arrived at school, the buses for the trip were there and loading, we didn't even go in the building first.

My science teacher checked my name, pointed me to a bus and said 'there'. She was a great science teacher a bit stern, but we came to an understanding over the next three years. I put my bag on the floor in front of my seat on the bus, took out the book, tucked the green and white stripey towel back into the bag and began reading.

By the time we were on the interstate, Arthur Dent was lying in the mud. The lights had gone and so had the Stairs. While Ford is expounding the usefulness of a towel, I started laughing which had the added side effect of seriously ticking off my seat mate because she was not at all finding her book the least bit funny. She was reading Mark Twain. However, my feet were propped on my duffel bag with a towel inside. The towel was wrapped/rolled around my dress to keep it from wrinkling, it was for later that evening. I kept reading. When Ford turned into a penguin, I realized this was the book that the episode of the show of which we did not see the beginning and only caught ten minutes of because PBS aired it in 40 minute or so increments.

On the way to Mobile, we toured something like five museums, a battle ship, and a Spanish fort. Our arrival at the hotel for the banquet was heralded with ''There will be a dance tonight and the laundry is backed up so, there are no towels for at least the next hour.'' The same seat mate that was irritated by the laughing, was now one of my room mates. I unpacked my dress to hang it. Unamused now 'room mate' said 'Well, I guess you can shower first seeing as how you have a towel, in our school colors, even.'. I showered, dressed and went to the dining room and found a few others were arriving at about the same time.

The trip went well. We had a lot of fun, well except for the guy who hit his head on the bus window and cracked the window. Same guy was just tall enough to hit the top of the door jamb at the Spanish fort with the top of his skull. We did keep an eye on him. On the way home, we stopped in New Orleans at the Galleria mall for shopping and ice skating. This is the deep South. None of us had ever been on ice skates.

Monday morning, we were informed that it was 'Book Week' and that there would be books on display for purchase at a discount at lunch time, the next three days. I didn't even read the titles, I recognized 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe' , and 'Life, the Universe and Everything' at a distance. I was indeed judging by their covers. The original book had not made it to my shelf and I had just bought the two sequels.

We also had to read for ten minutes each morning. Much to the chagrin of my classmates, it meant in addition to classwork, not just ten minutes. I asked my science teacher what we had to read. She said 'This is to promote literacy. I know you can read. I don't care what you read for ten minutes, cereal box, book, comic book, or your science book.''. I read 'The Clocks'.

Tuesday, I rode the school bus home. Someone sat next to me. I was reading and didn't look up from the book. Seat mate doesn't say anything. No idea who had the other half of the seat. The bus starts to move. I hear 'Um, could you turn the book a little?'. 'Glare bothering you?' I asked as I looked up right into the ice blue eyes of a really nice guy, who is still one of the most innately polite people I have ever met. ''Nope, this planet has been sticking its tongue out at me all day, don't need green dude doing the same thing.''. He's also quite funny. If you read the Caped Confuzzler, he was the first inspiration for that. Because his answer to ''How are you today?'' was ''Mildly radioactive and yourself?''.

Someone noticed my book in the gym. ''You know Jacques?'' She asked. ''Jacques who?'' I answered. ''You have his book!'' ''I have my book, bought it about a week ago.''. A few days later she walks up to me after P.E. ''Don't go anywhere'' and she ran across the street to the band room. Anna returned with a classmate of hers in tow. ''This, is Jacques.'' indicating the familiar looking younger student. Turns out he was the younger brother of one of my classmates. And, I was to meet the oldest brother in about four months.

What I learned then from the first three books: Some days are not what you were expecting. You definitely need a towel. And, sometimes you just need a really good cup of tea. There are times when you have to just accept things you don't understand. Turning into a penguin once in a while won't kill you. Unless, you choke on a fish. And, I made three friends in a week by reading the first book.

I bought my first computer in 1999. After buying it, packing it into my small car with the monitor and speakers, driving it home, lugging it into the house, setting it up, and creating a Compuserve account, the first thing I searched with Euroseek, was Douglas Adams. That search led to h2g2.com. That first account was a number I.D. which was four computers ago and the cookie was lost before Rupert. The next account was locked during Rupert. I have read about other cultures, other countries, and not just what's in the paper or on the news but what they eat for dinner or how they celebrate holidays or what they enjoy doing in their spare time or what is really important to them. And, I learned how to make a proper cup of tea from a particular entry in the Guide.

In 2002 or so, my brother joined the local 'Celtic Society'. I don't know why, considering we are German, French, and Spanish. In Spring of 2007 he bought a booth for the Celtic festival. He asked what things we should order from a website for the festival. I emailed the website link to a researcher I knew. His response was something like ''Tea, chocolate, jams, shortbread, but no haggis. No one here eats that muck, doubt they would there.''. I printed the response. My brother took the email, placed his order: Tea, Chocolate, Jams, Walker's shortbread, soda bread mix and cases of haggis. Then, he did a thorough search online for recipes while muttering 'Neeps and Tatties'. Hours later he brings me four sheets of paper. It took three hours and four sheets of paper to find instructions for boiled buttered turnips and mashed potatos. He did more research for that than he did to revamp our whole menu. For the menu, he pointed me to the bookshelves and said 'Use those.'. The Highland beef canned haggis sold out. As much of a surprise to us as it is to you.

The following year, my brother was talking about haggis and bagpipes. I asked if he was going to celebrate Burns Night. He had no idea what it was or who was Robert Burns.. I printed the guide entry for him. And again, when a possum got into his attic.
I bought the audio version of the Dirk Gently books. They were cassettes. A friend burned them to cds for me. I got an email of ''What is that weird stuff I am copying?'' ''Was it Odin or the swish thump?'' ''Swish thump'' ''That's an angry eagle''. ''OK''. He had taken the headphones off the computer to check the sound levels. I learned that he doesn't read fiction. But, I got him to watch Doctor Who and anything with David Tennant. It took one episode of ''Doctor Who'' and ''Hamlet''. He really enjoyed ''The Escape Artist''.

I bought ''Mostly Harmless''. About a month after I read it, I dragged someone to a charity shop that had books and records. He went for records. I went for books. I reached for ''Stranger in a Strange land''. From two shelves up a book jumped and landed on my arm. It was ''Mostly Harmless'' in a hardcover. A couple of months later, Sara rushes into my office. She had been to the library dumpster and went diving. She gave me a used but in good condition ''So long and thanks for all the Fish.''. Sara, sadly, is no longer here, died way too young. But I have something to remember her.

And to remember the founder of h2g2. I bought ''The Salmon of Doubt'' as soon as it hit the bookstore. I realized Douglas Adams was the same age as my sister. She died at age 34. She and Douglas were fans of the Beatles. Where Douglas raced to buy the new releases to be the first to hear them. My sister would get the new releases in the mail the day of release through the Columbia Record Club. She also played them ten at a time, flipped them over and played them again. I swear I heard them before I was born.

I brought a different friend to a charity shop because she wanted to donate and then shop. I found the Dirk Gently 2 books in 1. The idea of you may not be where you meant to go, but got to where you were meant to be is rather profound for a punch line.