h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A647642

Hope you like this one. It just about completes a quartet of articles stretching from the Mendips to. . .here.
Frogbit.

30/10/01 - some typos sorted out.

Anyone for ichthyosaur?

Sorry Frogbit, I haven't time to look through this now, but I'll have a look later. First impressions. You should start the entry with a short paragraph which says something like:

"Icthyosaurs are giant fishes which lived in the Jurassic period, about 500 millions years ago. Some particularly good fossil ichthyosaurs skeleteons were discovered in Street, Somerset and are on display there in the local Salvation Army Hall"

or whatever.

Excellent !

That first reference to Street shoppers reminded me of those wildlife programme sequences when they focus on some plant or animal in the foreground while a blur of human activity goes on in the background.

I do agree with Gnomon that some reference to Street in the first line would be a good idea, just to link the first part on Ichthyosaurs to the second part of the entry where the connection to Street is explained. Its very much two distinct halves at the moment.

I loved it though. How big are we talking about with those eyes?

Point taken chaps, though it'll have to wait a few days - I'm moving house as we speak.

Wazu - I had to split it into 2 parts - its started of as one piece, but I was heading into 3,000 words without sign of an end, and digressing all over the place.

EYES - up to 23cm across.

Hi Frogbit,
Sorry I didn't get here earlier. See you added the shoppers eye view since I last read this, makes it a bit more dynamic but I'm not sure the two halves link together too well at the moment. Maybe that introductory first paragrpah will do the trick when you find time to add it in. Think I need to go back and reread this more carefully.
I will return.
MC
PS Hope the house move goes smoothly.

Good entry.
A picky comment - under the "Environment" section, you've put "it's descendent" wouldn't it be "its descendent"?
Good luck with moving house!

I agree, definately an entry that deserves entry into the approved guide!
The only thing I would include, and this is being extremely picky, is to have footnote 4 link to A311275.

<BB<

Hi guys, sugestions taken on board (fossilised poo included). We've moved in now, but it'll be a couple more days before I can get any writing done. Again, thanks for your attention, and I'll be back asap.

I never did get to read this later, as I was away on a weekend in England, in which I drove through Street, of all places! I promise to look at this in detail soon, Frogbit.

Waaa! It's all changed! Need to read it through again as you've already changed most of the bits I was going to suggest adjusting. The changes are definitely an improvement, and I still think it's a really good article (and an interesting approach)

You weren't supposed to read it yet! I was going to change a couple more things and then post here to let you know. You don't have to read the whole thing again, as I have only changed the opening paragraph so far (and hadn't finished). Having said that, I don't think I'll change much else. Probably. But thanks anyway.

I think that's everything...

Now!


Before I start, Frogbit, I must explain that you may be a bit put off by the number of corrections I am going to suggest. Don't be. The number of suggestions I have reflects how good it is! I wouldn't have bothered for a mediocre entry. This one is excellent, but for perfection, you will have to make a number of changes. I'm going to number them, but don't be put off by this. It's just my way. Think about each of these and decide for yourself.


1. While it may be scientifically correct to say ichthyosaur, most of us would be happier with ichthyosaurs.

2. You say that ichthyosaurs were like dolphins, but you don't make it clear whether they were reptiles or mammals. Do we know this?

3. Why does more vertebrae mean less serpentine? I thought that snakes had more vertebrae than other vertebrates?

4. Instead of saying "million years BP", why not say "million years ago"?

5. "is over forty feet" should be "was over forty feet"

6. If ichthyosaurs are mammals, I can understand why tail first birth is an advantage, but if they are reptiles, do they have an umbilical cord? If not, does it matter which way around they are born?

7. Up to 23 cm in diameter. I am not sure whether you are talking about squids or opthalmosaurs here.

8. Ammonite - you might like to add, "an animal similar to a modern Nautilus".

9. trolling - do you mean trolling or strolling?

10. renown local Quakers --> renowned local Quakers

11. so dives --> she dives

12. potatoe --> potato

13. man can take to the air --> men can take to the air

I hope all this doesn't seem too harsh. Well done, Frogbit, on an excellent article!

Frogbit, that new beginning makes an introduction to both parts. It connects them but, and this seems contradictory, I think it might help to have an overall header for the first part, such as 'What is an Ichthyosaur?' together with a header such as 'A recontruction of the Ichthyosaurs of Street' for the second part and to use subheaders for the sections within the first part. (Just my 2p, probably not worth picking up .)

I'm not sure I'd include the Clark's reference in the intro though, since its not directly to do with the subject of the entry. I got distracted by thought of shoes just there.


23cm 8) ??!!

Points taken Gnomon - I will amend a few and justify a few others - thanks for your time. It's heartening that you have paid so much attention. Wazu - I'll see about that.
But not tonight. My transport of delight awaits my sleepy head...

Well I think that first paragraph ties the two sections together rather neatly. Although I didn't get distracted by thoughts of shoes I can see what Wazu means, maybe Clarkes end up with too much of an emphasis in that short section.
We're all getting a bit picky now though looking for things to criticise. This is still a great article and deserves to be picked up.

I agree... It's also similar to a project I'm working on at the moment.
One thing that might be useful would be to link to:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dinosaurs/fact_files/sea/ophthalmo.shtml
as it has a picture, and helps give the reader a better idea of what he's reading about.

<BB<

Cheers Bluebottle - before I wrap up I'm going to work in a couple of links to image files. If you goto google they have a wonderful new feature- click on the image search tab and type in what you're after - most useful. As I said, this ain't put to bed yet. . .

ps What did you say you were working on?