h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, will do

Thank you matey

Matey? Makes me sound like a

Yaharr! Land ahoy, me hearty!

Yes I have lost the plot

No no no
That aud be tank eee matey, Ah Harrrgh, Splice me cat flap will eee.

I WANT I'm not sure to splice your cat flap...

I'll stick to the Queens's English if you don't mind old thing, and nuts to your bally silly old acts of stereotypetion, what?

I say that will be simply spiffing fancy a snifter before retiring for the night.

Rather old fellow! What d'you fancy?

A single malt and a slpash of soda please

*Hands over the drinkie and pours himself a *

Your good health.

My wine seems to have turned into an How odd...

Cheers (mine is a single malt and a nice one).

...the Librarian goes to raise his pint and discovers it has turned into a . ... . .