h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And things got slightly surreal within said kebab shop. I ended up in a wide ranging discussion with five teenage mackems (or is it maccams? I'm never sure how to spell it), a fifty-something married couple and the Iranians who run the kebab shop aboout three main subjects

a) Will the pope be dead by christmas?

b) Is David Bowie a lesbian?

and

c) Places in Newcastle where you can get designer clothes dangerously cheap.

I'm confused already, and I haven't even started watching the "Matrix Reloaded" DVD I rented from Blockbuster!

We've got a sweepstake running as to when his Holiness will make the final ascent to heaven

Well, the opinion in the kebab shop was as follows:

Me, I reckon he'll make it past christmas, as does the ex-catholic schoolgirl amongst the mackem teenagers, and the bloke from the older couple.

The rest of the mackem teenagers and the fifty-something woman reckon he'll pop them before that.

The Iranians who run the place really couldn't give a toss.

I must be an Iranian then

And here was me thinking you were French.

What's happened to everyone's names

You confuse I.

Anagrams, numero, anagrams.

Fair enough!

and what the hell does murben ixs mean, anyway?

It means he hasn't googled for a decent anagram website

would you care to have a look at what we have on offer, sir?

http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=Number+Six

Look, I'm trying to get the graphics right for tomorrow's bulletins... if I get 'em wrong and we look daft for the couple of hours they let us out on proper Network, it'll be your fault!

Mind you, I like this one quite a lot

It is rather nifty, I must admit.

Going back to the Pope, I've got him down for the 28th. Of any month - the sweepstake rolls over...

So, 28th December, we'd both be right.

D'you reckon Ladbrokes would take the bet?

Who can tell...

Hmm. Did an "ask jeeves search for betting on the pope's death, and found that you can apparently get odds of 1000-1 against Sinead O'Connor being the next pope.

http://www.ask.co.uk/ix.asp?q=betting+on+the+death+of+the+pope&ac=none&xx=0&qid=2A6D93C311478F4E8135C8A34C5585A9&p=0&s=1&sp=ix&fn=t&b=0&fo=2&r=10&io=7&fp=7&fr=1&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnewswww%2Ebbc%2Enet%2Euk%2F2%2Flow%2Feurope%2F2540369%2Estm&adurl=