h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Children Everywhere. Auntie here.

I'm very sorry to tell you that some children are being a bit silly when it comes to voting on our television programs. I was prepared to turn a blind eye to you wilfully getting the name of the Blue Peter kitten wrong, but this weekend I'm afraid you went too far.

We shan't have that nice Sports Personality of the Year program in future, if you persist in choosing rough people who don't come from the Home Counties. As for that ridiculous outbreak of sympathy voting in Strictly Come Dancing, I hope you remember in future that we only employ those very expensive panellists to explain to you who's not doing it properly.

If this bad behaviour continues, we will introduce a points system for the TV Licence, similar to the one for the Driving Licence. Six points if any of you dare vote for Matt next weekend. If you get to 20 points, we won't let you watch television for a year. So there.