h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For the first time in my life, I sit at a computer wearing reading glasses.

Only got 'em today. Hmph.

Good job I've still got my magnificent mane of jet-black hair, perfect pearly teeth, rippling abs and boundless sexual energy.

...Doesn't feel the same, somehow, when you can read what you just typed.

Your computer wears glasses?

Fitted by Coldseal no doubt.

I sit at my computer with my glasses lifted high on my forehead so I can read the screen. My prescription lenses are used for driving or other activities requiring distance vision too close for using telescopes or binoculars. My 'reading glasses' are reserved for FAXes, small print on drawings and contracts. Just because I am focused on type at 18 inches ( or 457mm) does not mean that I am old or need Tri-Focals, it is just that the rest of the world uses ridicules type sizes!



F S

My long vision is perfect, naturally.
In almost every respect, I delight the medical profession with the sheer beauty of my being.
But at the remarkably advanced age of 46, I have decided to feign the occasional recourse of wearing reading glasses, simply out of deference to the self-esteem of my peers.
My kindness is just as boundless as the rest of my virtues, and I have selected this modest gesture purely in consideration towards my less fortunate circle of acquaintances.
I crush them daily with my astonishing vitality. Tragically true - but how can I help it?
Oh, dear. It must be pretty devastating for mere mortals, knowing someone as wonderful as me, I fear...

Dear Pinniped,

Welcome to the club of slow decay i.e. Old Age!!

As someone who

1. wears glasses, (only to read )- naturally - which I cannot!!

2. has hearing aids in both ears - eveyone mumbles and no-one articulates!!

3. can't walk - but a wheelchair is such fun. Children in pushchairs are the only members of the human race who look at me with any interest - and that is guarded.

4. has problem hands - difficult to make a joke about this!

5. dicky heart - but then the majority of people are never diagnosed with an aneurysm in their left coronary artery. They just DIE and no0one is any the wiser. I had the good fortune to be operated on and here I am ten years later - still ticking and kicking!!

5. one and a half lungs - there again only 3% of tumours of the lung are benign. And guess what. I belong to that special few. so I am sooo lucky!!

I am otherwise perfect!!

I count myself so fortunate in having you, as a friend.

Your computer looks beautiful with it's new glasses - as LLWaz so rightly comments, and your ideas about how blessed and fortunate we are to have your gentle self bestow charms upon us makes us glow with joy and pleasure.!!

Bless you for making my sleeless night worthwhile!

Enjoy what you read you have written!.!

Also Ran1

As enthusiastic and optimistic as ever - poor benighted fool!!

Hello AR1
Well, that'll teach me to presume who lurks!
Enjoy your travels, and yes, this computer is SO much sharper since it took to wearing glasses.
Pin