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Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Zarquon's Singing Fish! Started conversation May 12, 2004
This was the topic I was given to speak to at the Toastmasters Club meeting I went to this evening. I had been asked if I would be willing to do a table topic and I said yes, if they were short of people to do it. I wasn't really expecting to be called up - I've not done it before.
Another guest was asked to speak, so I thought I might not be called on, but no - the Table Topic host read out the topic 'Some people say everyone can be classed as one of the following: talker, star, controller or quiet person, and then asked me how I would class myself. Well, it had to be as a talker! I told them that one of the best qualities of a good talker was to be a good listener.
At the end of the evening, the people who had given prepared talks were evaluated and we voted on who was the best a) prepared speaker, b) table topic speaker and c) evaluator.
All the speakers, including table topic speakers were evaluated, and I was told as part of mine, that it didn't sound as though it was my first ever table topic. I might have stood a little closer to the audience, though.
When the results were announced, to my utter astonishment, I was named as best table topic speaker! Woohoo! I have a certificate to prove it. When it came to the end of the evening and the guests were asked what they thought of the way things were run, I was *almost* speechless.
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Zubeneschamali Posted May 12, 2004
Hi ZSF,
Congratulations on getting such recognition!
Long ago, (25 years ago!) I was in school, and one teacher pushed and pushed us to stand up and speak in public: a Christmas play, the debating team, at any opportunity he'd encourage us to stand up in front of an audience. My opportunity was the school debating team, and we did well.
He said later that the reason he was so keen was that he himself was nervous as an adult about speaking up in ordinary adult situations. Planning objections, residents associations, going to see the taxman: these are things anyone should be able to tackle confidently, but we are trained to think we are a member of the audience, and only cocky, extrovert TV stars stand up and speak their minds.
After you do it a few times, you realize that it's OK! It's actually fun!
Then you discover that you are the perpetual chairman of the local residents association
Zube
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Traveller in Time Reporting Bugs -o-o- Broken the chain of Pliny -o-o- Hired Posted May 12, 2004
Traveller in Time speachless
" Perhaps you were prepared for it,
you had your towel with you."
lurking on his pipe
"We have public too down here on HooToo ."
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Also Ran1-hope springs eternal Posted May 13, 2004
Oh my very dear Zarquhon
How absolutely splendiferous!!. I am sooo thrilled, nay elated, for you. It will give you such a feeling of achievement satisfaction and fulfilment.
Well done. My dear.
when do you leave on your wonderful vacation? Do let me know. I am due to go to Ireland for ten days next Wednesday 19th May where I shall spend ten days visiting my darling Franciscan religious who had a masive stroke last year and who is, /totally unexpectedly, making wonderful progress.
Again I share your joy.
Much affectionate
Also Ran1
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
frenchbean Posted May 13, 2004
As one who is able to talk incoherent rubbish at the drop of a hat, I applaud anybody who can talk sense at the drop of a hat
What a buzz!
Fb
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Zarquon's Singing Fish! Posted May 13, 2004
Hi Zube,
You and I share an experience, then. I was in a school debating competition when I was in the sixth form (what would now be known as Year 11 or 12) and we got to the final. We were beaten by a team who had been taught to listen to our answers and to reply/refute them. We had only been taught how to speak and time our speeches, so we were unprepared for this. I did get a commendation at the time for my sincerity, though. The nice thing about last night was that it felt as though I was among friends, even though I'd only met two or three of them before.
Hi TiT (tit),
I didn't expect to speak, so it was a surprise. Metaphorically, I must have had my towel with me!
Hi AR1 !
Thanks. The hard work is yet to come - setting up a club of my own, getting support and marketing it - making it tick.
Hi tonsil!
Thanks!
Hi Fb! I really can't imagine that. All of use were asked at the beginning of the evening to say a minute or so about their favourite film. I couldn't think of anything for the moment, but when someone else started to talk about his, it struck me that I could talk about my favourite - not actually a film, but a Shakespeare production filmed for TV in the early 80s - 'Much Ado about Nothing' starring Cherie Lunghi and Robert Lindsay. I used to play it when I felt miserable, until my video machine chewed it up and I found that the BBC had not made that recording available, although they had made most of the others in the series recordable. Still, it's in my head, and I think of it still at those times.
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Websailor Posted May 13, 2004
Hi, Z,
Congratulations . You must be thrilled and dying for the next opportunity . Once you have overcome initial nerves it can become addictive, so watch out
I do talks from time to time and really enjoy it. There is nothing quite like engaging an audience on a subject which interests you (and them) . And yet, I was, and still am very shy .
You soon know if you are a or , though some people drop off the minute anyone starts talking
with the next one
Websailor
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
You can call me TC Posted May 13, 2004
Well done.
Let us know some guidelines you have learnt from your experience - I have a tendency to go off at tangents and, having seen a video, know that I fidget a lot, too.
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Zarquon's Singing Fish! Posted May 13, 2004
Thank you, Websailor and TC!
Guidelines - well all of us at the meeting got to talk for at least a minute right at the beginning during the warm-up. I was so relieved i didn't have to go first, as it took me a little while to think of my favourite film, however when I did, I tried to relate it to what others may go through. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087752/ It's what I used to play when I was miserable - and then my video chewed it up.
For the one off the cuff - the secret really was to choose something in the question to hang onto - as I couldn't remember all the parts, and I couldn't think of much to say about the star, controller or quiet person bit, I focussed on the talker, and again, tried to think what might interest other people. The WIIFM factor. As I knew that there was someone counting ums and ahs, I was careful to pause when I couldn't thing of what to say next, or how to relate it, so I gave myself time to think. I also tried to engage eye contact with all sections of the audience, and picked on one to say 'thank you' to. I hoped I wasn't rambling too much. I don't know how connected it all was. And I tried to use my hands and arms (although I've been told before that I tend to keep them a bit too close to my body when talking). As I do t'ai chi and qigong, breathing/breath control isn't an issue for me, so I can be loud enough and vary my tone and pitch.
I've had various things said about smiling during speaking. I know that it helps to smile at your audience, however I've heard it said that if you smile while you're actually speaking, it can distort the message. There's a neat course called Vocal Power http://www.cuttsgroup.com/01/vocal-power.htm which I've bought and it has exercises to improve the range and quality of your voice. I've changed the way I record answerphone messages following its advice.
Not sure if that helps, TC.
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Websailor Posted May 13, 2004
Hi, Trillion,
1. Preparation, preparation, preparation - that's if you get the chance, unlike our friend Know your subject.
2. Deep breathing is a big help.
3. Hold your head up and speak to the back of the audience. If you talk to those at the front those at the back may not hear, or will feel excluded.
4. Don't use notes on paper. If you are shaky it shows
5. If you need prompts, to keep you in some semblance of order, and to stop you straying too far off the subject, use cards. Normal index cards will do, with headings for each section - introduction, points, halfway point in case you have to break off for coffee etc. , points, and closure etc.
6.Use large writing and number each card in case you drop them or they get knocked over
7. Be prepared for hecklers or awkward questions. Don't bluff - if you don't know, say so.
8. Slides are a brilliant prompts to keep your thoughts in order, but those are not always suitable
9. If you don't get the chance to prepare, pick three points to concentrate on. Any more amd minds will wander, inclluding yours
10. I am still learning, and I hate using a script. I am more comfortable with my own words, but that is just me. I would welcome any advice from anyone too
Hope this helps a bit
Websailor
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Zarquon's Singing Fish! Posted May 13, 2004
Simulpost, Websailor!
I agree with all this. I too, like to speak without notes, although on occasion, I use cards with key points highlighted in colour.
As far as eye-contact with the audience is concerned, it's good practice to do a slow sweep, so that you cover each section of the audience. If you can't look them in the eye, look them in the forehead - they can't tell the difference, and it's not so intimidating to you.
As for deep breathing, it's best to breathe from the bottom of the diaphragm - as for singing.
Singing is a good way of memorising stuff.
Prepare your beginning and ending if you can. Lots of people don't pay enough attention to the ending. Three ender closers are good. This is where you repeat something three times, with slight variations, eg, thank you for x, thank you for y, thank you for z or remember x, remember y and most of all, remember z.
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Websailor Posted May 13, 2004
Hi, Singing Fish,
I agree about the breathing. My mother was a trained singer and the tips she passed on to me were very useful. It is strange how many of us never breathe properly, to our full capacity. When going to hospital with my other half for tests on his lung capacity, I watched how they did it and my breathing has improved as a result
I like the "forehead" bit. Too much eye contact can be intimidating. I forgot to mention enthusiasm before. If you look and sound as if you are just going through the motions, WHAT you are saying will be lost in HOW you are saying it.
Websailor
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
Zarquon's Singing Fish! Posted May 14, 2004
I liked Roger Love's tips on answerphone messages, which included instructions about being louder, clearer, slower and using more intonation (pitch range). I thought my messages were already fairly good, but they have definitely improved by my speaking further away from the handset.
Key: Complain about this post
Talker, star, controller or quiet person?
- 1: Zarquon's Singing Fish! (May 12, 2004)
- 2: Zubeneschamali (May 12, 2004)
- 3: Traveller in Time Reporting Bugs -o-o- Broken the chain of Pliny -o-o- Hired (May 12, 2004)
- 4: Also Ran1-hope springs eternal (May 13, 2004)
- 5: Tonsil Revenge (PG) (May 13, 2004)
- 6: frenchbean (May 13, 2004)
- 7: Zarquon's Singing Fish! (May 13, 2004)
- 8: Websailor (May 13, 2004)
- 9: You can call me TC (May 13, 2004)
- 10: Zarquon's Singing Fish! (May 13, 2004)
- 11: Websailor (May 13, 2004)
- 12: Zarquon's Singing Fish! (May 13, 2004)
- 13: Websailor (May 13, 2004)
- 14: Zarquon's Singing Fish! (May 14, 2004)
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