h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

<I lost both of my parents when i was just 12 years old, within a year of each other, both to cancer.
It is only now, 27 years on, that i have faced up to the fact that i did not grieve for them properly at the time. I tried to be strong for the rest of the family, (2 brothers, 2 sisters), even though i was the youngest, and it became second nature to be strong in front of both friends and family, so i hid my sadness for many years. I did cry, just on my own. This made me seem hard and uncaring to others, when in actual fact that was exactly the opposite to how i was, i just couldnt show it for fear of becoming inconsoleable. 3 months ago i finally plucked up the courage to have some counselling and face up to all of this hidden grief. I have now spoken to most of my family, and shared tears with them. Im now facing up to the fact that it is okay to cry with others, and although it will take me a long time to be comfortable with it, i know its ok and it does help. Although i accept that there is still a long way to go, i have faced and survived the hardest hurdle which is starting out.

I can't imagine losing my parents so young. What a tough thing to have to deal with. I just turned 50 and lost my Dad to Alzheimer's last week. Even though he suffered a very long time and there is no cure, I always thought he would never actually die. You were just a child when you lost your parents. I wouldn't be surprised if you expected them to come back, so why grieve! I'm glad to know that you have reconnected with your family members as you have gotten older. It's good to see that even harsh misconceptions between siblings have the hope of reconciliation. After all, I've always believed people are basically good. Good luck to you, "sensier7788"

i was 25 when my mum died.....just like the first post on here, i too felt the need to be strong for my 2 sisters and my dad, who had all took it very badly...i had taking it even worse, as it was just me and mum (when i say that, i lived in my nan and grandads, but i had no father and/or siblings at that time) for the better part of 6 years....i remember the day as if it was yesterday...i got the phone call about 1.30 on the 28th Jan 2004 and that was when i found out that its ok to cry....but didnt realise it...

the funeral came, me and my younger sister sat and had a bit of a joke (i decided that the best defence was my evil sense of humour...people would ask me if it came as a surprise, and id tell them that it was more of a surprise for mum....and the looks on there faces kept it together)..mum got cremated and when i saw the curtains go across for that final time, every single brick of the wall i had been building over the previous 2 weeks came down in a heartbeat...

it still took me 2 years to start to grieve, but i did, and im now a stronger person because of it...sure, im having a little cry typing this, but if u stop crying, u stop caring....thats just my opinion...my mum gave me life, when i didnt ask for it and she also gave me hope when i needed it...love u mum...thanks.. x