h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Trying to catch up with journals earlier, I definitely saw a family theme going today (not counting paul's, of course, since that story's all about family anyway). So I'll use that as my jumping off point today/tonight.

Those of you that read my journal all year, and have for awhile, know that my household consists of myself, my husband Tom, PaperKid/Faith, and Notepad/Gracie, plus Penny and, of course, . Heck, you've likely picked up on that the last week and a half--except I don't think I've mentioned the dog.

Tom's family consists of his parents, Thomas and Patty (my Tom's not a Junior, though, because he and his dad have different middle names--if I refer to Tom, I'm talking about my husband--on h2g2, his dad is always Thomas) who live here in town, 2 older half sisters (one from each parent) in and around Sacramento, and an older cousin outside Sacramento (Sacramento is about 6-7 hours away). From what I understand, Tom's grandparents died before Thomas and Patty even met, though I could be wrong about that.

I've lost most of my close family. My dad died a couple of weeks before my wedding--he had MS that, unusually, went after his brain first. I think it was less than 5 years from the onset of something wrong until he died--I know it was less than 2 from when they figured out what was going on. He was born March 3, 1948, and died late June, 1997, so he was only 49. Mom got brain cancer. She started having seizures, so, amongst other tests, she had an MRI, which showed nothing. 9 months later, she had a totally unrelated surgery, and, of course, had to be off of her anti-convulsants. When they didn't work when she was put back on them, she had another MRI--this time (from what I remember of a 3rd-hand description) it looked like someone had poured tar over her brain, and it had seeped into the convolutions. Totally inoperable. Once she was told, she gave up. She wouldn't leave the feeding tube in her nose, so it was a choice between keeping her restained, letting her aspirate the liquid food (she couldn't swallow by this point), or taking the tube out and letting her starve. Sonce she'd always said she didn't want to be kept on machines (though I didn't know feeding counted! But I guess it does, if the prognosis is that grim), it was decided to remove the tube. There was pressure on me to reverse that decision--not helped by the fact that the implied that I actually had some say--which it turned out I didn't, since my stepdad was available and competent. Some of those that were putting pressure on me, I heard saying to Tom a few years later that I had killed my mom. Yeah, there's a few issues there... Mom had been born March 27, 1948, and she died April 19, 2000--she was 52. I've also lost my grandma and my stepdad--they both have journals about them here, I'm pretty sure, since they died after I found h2g2--and this is prettylong already. I have a half brother that I've long since lost touch with--he's severely mentally disabled (born with physical brain damage--manganese is nasty stuff), though he did get to meet PaperKid a couple of times. I did catch a glimpse of him when I was at the fair with PaperKid this year, but we were on a ride in the middle of the loading bit, and he'd disappeared by the time we got off (he and his group were heading for the exit when I saw him). I do still have my aunts, uncles, and cousins, most of whom I've found on FaceBook--and my exstepmom and -sisters. Not that I've been on FaceBook much lately, except to post stuff, so I'm behind on what's happening with all of them.

So, if I don't have a lot to say when it comes to caring for elderly parents, or losing them, especially if the child is someone that's older than my parents got to be, maybe now you know why

what an awful story about your mom, Amy. It's bad enough losing her early but to have all that whispering and blaming - it's shocking. And I hope you know it's their problem and not yours. Even if you'd had a choice in the matter, it was what she wanted and therefore the right choice.

Deb

Losing parents to such awful conditions sounds hard.

I am so sorry to hear the full story Amy. All I can say is that my step daughters lost their dad, and virtually only flesh and blood relative when they were in their early twenties. I feel they were robbed of something we all take for granted. Life sucks again.

Storm