h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not playing with a full deck,
A brick short of a load,
got a kangaroo loose in the top paddock,
lift's not going all the way to the top story,
the light's on but nobody's home,
the clutch is slipping,
driving around with the handbrake on,
a few chocolates missing from the box,
a chop short of a mixed grill,
hasn't got both oars in the water,
there's a prawn missing from that barbie,
enrolled in the space cadets
a few marbles missing from that bag

Now here are a few of my favourite things. If we could have a concerted Guide effort to have what will ultimately be the definitive collection of these expressions on an on-going and pro-active basis it will be WONDERFUL.
(Be sure to stick to "Insanity and not to wander into mere "Stupidity".

How about the politically correct? "Mentally differently abled"...

I like to use a fantastic array of phrases when describing someone's 'nuttyness' - but for now I can only think of one...

A few cans short of a six pack.

I'll have to have a think I think.



Our thoughts are one.

Yeah - butty short of a picnic.

There are plenty more - it's just a case of sticking to the clean ones

Yes wonderful, thank you. I shall add it to the list, as soon as I've figured out how (I've got a few holes in my net).

Thanks, a really great one. I'll add it to the list as soon as I can figure out how (I'm not exactly cooking with gas).

It's okay; I'm a couple of gunmen short of a posse myself. Or a couple of scenes short of a play. Or a sushi counter short of a snack bar. Not firing on all cylinders. Under-staffed in the sanity department. A student.

Not sure how close these come to stupidity rather than insanity, but you're free to use them if you want. Of course, there are many other ways to suggest insanity, such as picking up a big, sharp knife and saying "Gosh, it's been a long time since they let me have anything like this". Or smiling all the time.

Beautiful: I especially like the Sushi one. Great, we make progress. Keep them coming.

A few bricks short of a load.
A few straws to the wind.
Their nappa is mashed (Northumbrian saying)
Mental (plain and simple)

Many thanks. I'm glad you came out of yourself sufficient assist. That Northumbrian one is a rare gem.

In the "short of" category:
a couple of fries short of a happy meal.

and others:
The lights are on but there's nobody home.
the engine is running but there's nobody at the wheel.
flaky

Keep em comin'

"Wired to the moon," That's a real Irish one usually heard in the pubs around Kilkeny city and county, colloquially shortened to just the simple "Wired." Don't know if thats exactly what your looking for but I gave it a shot anyway. Theres a load of typically Irish ones. I might post them here when I remember some of them.

Ninepence in the Shilling.

What about one word ones? Nuts, crackers, bonkers, loony.

And then there is Barking, (short for Barking Mad), and Dagenham (three stops past Barking).

There is the story of the Yorkshire Derby and Joan, sitting in their rocking chairs by the fire one winter evening. Eventually he says to her: "Eeh lass, they are all daft save for me, and thee".
They rock back and forth in their chairs for a while, maybe an hour, maybe two. Then he says: "And even thee's a little queer".

a nutter called Ben

This has inspired me to post a similar thread about sex: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F57152?thread=133880 ***B

Well, I'm glad I've inspired someone to sex. It must be my new aftershave "Curmudgeon".

Of course there's "Bats in the belfry".

We must make this absolutely the definitive list in the universe so that eons from now, on distant planets we will never hear of, "Space Cadets" ( there's one) will refer to the fruits of our labour when they wish to state that someone hasn't got all his piglets in the sty.

Personal favourite:

He's not dancing with both feet. (Always calls to mind the "dancing lesson" scene in Star Trek:Next Gen episode "Data's Day" for some reason.)

H.

bananas
bonkers
dippy
dappy
loony tunes
madman, or woman
nutcase
off with the fairies
psycho
schitzo
Vanessa Feltz
er
that's all

I see someone is being moderated. can we please have a New York Minute of silence. What the Heck is a "New York Minute"? Is it like a US Gallon? Anyone know?
Anyway, perhaps the poor soul has a screw loose.

Meanwhile - Head 'em up, move 'em out - the thread goes on.

Lookey here Girley. You say you have done a siimilar thing about sex, which is very wonderful an all, BUT when I click on the thing you give I return to where I was, which is where I'd been, without particularly enjoying the trip.

This leads me to say "What the F?"

Is this what you mean by a thingy on sex?

Welcome back from your training, have you learned some new tricks?

(I was trained once and since then I've been forbidden tea breaks coz they reckon it would take too long to retrain me.)