h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Finally!

A researcher that lives within reasonable distance of me...

Nice to meet you, Arthur. I'm Yossarian, Keeper of Hermetic Philosophy, and the Hitchhiker Blues.

The Northeastern US researchers are having a meet...er,...sometime this year in Boston. I think they're all pretty intent on having it in Quincy Market.

Well, as you probably know, it's 10:20, and after a long day of being chased by Templar and Moderators, dancing the waltz with Suz, and hours of napping in the Sweetly Perfumed Cafe, I think I'll call it quits for the night.

Keep in touch

Thanks, it's good to be reminded that h2g2 does indeed utilize Researchers from all over the world, including the Heartbed of the Revolution. I have two questions for you:

1 - What exactly is Hermetic Philosophy? I'm still a bit awkward here, so if there's a Guide Entry on the topic you can just point me there. Otherwise perhaps you could elaborate...

2 - Where in Massachusetts do you reside?

I guess I'll have to spend some time checking out the nightlife here. I haven't been much of a clubber since I was a bit younger and more reckless, but I'm sure it would enhance my prospects of coming up with a worthy Entry if I spent some time bending elbows with other Researchers...

-Dent

Hermetic philosophy is not so much a philosophy, but a game played by bored intellectuals. It's really quite fun. What you do is try and make logical steps connecting a concrete object with a political theory, or group of peoples, or a culture. For instance, if you were a Hermetic philosopher as well, I'd ask you to connect something like:

Hershey's chocolate and Communism.


If you get really good at it, you can add another concrete object. It's hard. I'm still trying to master it...


And I live in Wellesley.

You mentioned, "...if you were a Hermetic philosopher as well, I'd ask you to connect something like: Hershey's chocolate and Communism."

Let me see if I've got the concept down. Let me first outline some perceptions about both items.

Communism - Everything, in theory, belongs to the State. The State is all the people. Everyone, in theory, shares an equal role in protecting and preserving the State. Ones status is determined by the importance of ones role in protecting and preserving the State. Those who are deemed important have nice cars and nice houses. Those who merely do all the work have no cars and very plain houses. The State provides for all its people, so you don't need medical insurance. If you aren't important enough to have a nice car, the State will send an ambulance for you at no charge.

Hershey's chocolate - Every instance of a Hershey's product tastes the same as any other instance of the same product. Hershey's chocolate is widely available in many kinds of stores around the world. Because you are assured that you will not be surprised (happily or not) when you bite into a Hershey's chocolate product, you pay more for it than you would, say, a similar Acme Chocolate product. Being chocolate, it is messier to eat in warm climates. Being Hershey's, you can be assured that the mess will be the same every time.

The Hermetic Connection: Hershey's chocolates, like Communism, while consistent within the same geographic region, is messier in some climates than in others.

Do I have the concept? Is there a Hermetic Philosophy club here, if I do? And is it true that everyone in Wellesly is rich?

-Dent

Bravo!

That was impressive!

There's no club, but that's only because I like to keep things exclusive. Which brings me to Wellesley.

Yes. We're all rich b*****ds. A small cape in Wellesley sells for a million, so one has to be rich to afford living here...

Forgive me for barging in.

If there will be a meeting at the Quincy market,
chances are I can attend....

Also, I think there used to be a Hershey's plant
on Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge between
MIT and Harvard. Every time I passed it, the most
wonderful smell of chocolate would enter my nostrils.

I used to belong to the Wellesley Choral Society,
though I don't any more. I'm more familiar with
Dedham, where people seem to be marvelling at
the way houses tend to sell for MORE than the
sellers were asking.

The bane of my existence is the bridge on Bridge
Street in Dedham, which will be under construction
through 2004. Trouble is, it takes traffic from
VFW Parkway/Route 1, and diverts it to Route 109
or Route 128. One lane just isn't enough for the
volume.

Paul H, who sends best wishes

Sorry, Arthur...

I didn't mean to shut you up like that at the Table. I was (and still am, I think) dancing with a very nice girl. Speaking of which, find yourself a partner and get on the dance floor.

The more the merrier.


Here's a tough one. Try connecting cottage cheese and Koala bears.

If you're up to the challenge, that is...

Excuse me for barging in too, but this forum seems to be the best chance for a Massachusetts H2G2 meet this year since the Northeastern US Researchers Group gave up on the concept.

"Fellow Bostonian" is not a concept which applies to me, since I proudly live far enough west of that overcongested place, to buy bait on Main Street. Still, I can make it to meetings in Boston.

And welcome to the Guide, "Arthur Dent".

Actually, the plan is back in action and I was chosen to host it. Check out the Northeastern Researchers' page.

This did take some thought, but I think I've solved it reasonably.

Cottage Cheese - White, Soft, and creamy with individual moist curds. Goes well with citrus fruit, vegetables. Made by coagulating or curdling milk so that it forms white lumpy curds and a liquid called whey. To help the curdling process a bacterial culture is added. Cheese has been made for over 8000 years

Koala - Koalas first evolved on the Australian continent some 45 million years ago. The young koala drinks only mother's milk for the first six to seven months and remains in the pouch for that time, slowly growing and developing. Koalas have a special fibre-digesting organ containing millions of bacteria which break down the fibre. Koalas were a readily available source of food, and of fur, which typically contains streaks of white.

Obviously, Koalas and Cottage Cheese are extraordinarily similar! They've both been around far longer than any of us. They are both soft, and both are at least partly white. They both are happiest when close to fruits and vegetables. Bacteria helps create cottage cheese and also helps Koalas to digest fiber. Baby Koalas drink milk, milk is the basis of cottage cheese. Both need some time alone to fully develop, the Koala in a pouch, cottage cheese in a vat. Both are a source of food. Both (if you leave the cheese out long enough) can be a source of fur. However the clearest connection by far traces back to the Aborigine people. 'Koala' is thought to mean 'no drink' in the Aboriginal language. If any of you have ever carried milk through the desert (this is thought to be how cheese was originally discovered), as it ceases to be 'milk' and approaches becoming 'cottage cheese,' "NO DRINK" would be what I, at least, would say to a thirsty compatriot grabbing for my container of milk.

-Dent

I'm sorry, but the "Boston Summer 2001" topic bogged down in chit-chat after concluding that the next meet couldn't happen before summer 2002. Is there somewhere else I should look for updates?

Has it really?

That's a damn shame.


But, Arthur! That was brilliantly clever. Good show, man.

Thank you. I guess I have the concept down.

-Dent

I am posting this in the hopes of contacting fellow Massholes (notice I don't say Bostonians as I am a South Shoreite )
Feel free to contact me if any of you are still with this fine and splendid guide

Murray