h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can anyone, who is wise in the way of the pie, answer my question?

Who, if anybody, ate all the pies?

Mr. Entropy

That 84-st bloke from New York who got forklifted to hospital the other day? Mr. Creosote?

I am an american (shilds head from oncoming foot). Meat pies are not readily avaliable. How should i cope with such sadness?

Create your own. I shall seek to provide a recipe very soon, as soon as I've fionished my pub reviews resultant from the call for proper information from the Creators.
In absence of a recipe for pastry, simply create a makeshift pie with any materials to hand. Ready-made pastry mix is available in this country - seek a similar product in your friendly neighbourhood K-mart. Buy some minced beef (probably referred to as ground beef in the US). Put it in a pan and brown. Add six diced tomatoes, 1tsp basil, one crushed garlic clove, 1 rounded tablespoon of cornflour and one chopped onion. Reduce until all sloppiness and liquidity is nearly gone. Add to a casserole dish lined with the ready-made pastry and top with the same. Put in the oven at about 220°C for an hour or so - the pastry should be halfway between the natural colour and golden-brown. It's probably best to periodically brush the pastry with milk whilst cooking. Try that, and if it doesn't work get back to me and I'll try to have something more permanent ready.

thanks, i will have to try it soon, cause it sounds yummy.