h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Having been the victim of numerous, post-pub hot snack accidents( invariably involving toasties) , it has led me to pose this , quite frankly, ludicrous question.

Toasted Sandwiches - Are They Evil?

Because, if they aren't evil, they're certainly always about 1000 degrees hotter than you think they would be, even after you have left them for what you would consider to be an adequate length of time before consuming,
and, lo' and behold! A stream of hot cheesy lava bursts over your chin, causing you to imitate a stuttering Orang-u-tang with laryngitis!

I think I might take up ice cream.

I think you might be right, I have left it so long that I thought it might be to cold to enjoy, but as soon as I bit into it I still get that hot cheesy lava again


manda

At last, someone who understands.

Of course, ice-cream is not at all as pure as the driven snow cones it would like us to think. Did you forget about ice-cream headaches? Or the fact that most ice-cream isn't ice-cream at all but flavoured seaweed extract (alginate) or reconstrued LARD if you buy "soft serve" at several prominent burger chains...

... quite creepy really. I think I'm going to pop out for some ChocChipCookieDough or Dolce de Leche anyway...

Hmm, so you are saying that Icecream is to desserts, as cheap sausages are to delicious meat products? Shocking. Though not being one to posess a sweettooth, or sweet elbow for that matter, I would be much more inclined to have a hot poodle or cheese on roast with pickle, with a dash of hot tabastard chilli sauce!!!

And I hope you enjoy your ChocChipCookieSeaweed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What would be an adequate length of time for a toastie to be left, before exploring it's steamy innards though? Or would it always magically revert, upon eating to be lucifers backside, and end up hotter than hell!!!

In offerance of snippets of advice: Whatever the severity of the post-pub need for instant hot, starchy carbs, please do not ever consider adding the deliciousness of baked beans to your cheesey toastie. The idea is sublime, the taste wonderful. However, the walking around for the next four days with baked bean shaped blisters on your chin is a pain not worth the baked bean pleasure.

For the many reasons clearely stated by other people, don't now rush out to subscribe to the cheap lard ridden ice-cream market. And don't think that a certain popular sunshiney orange drink is a rock to hide under in terms of post-pub rehydration methods; inexplicably, it contains vegetable oil. Yet another culinary-murderous mystery.

Holy Deepfried Re-Formed Potato Product's Fatman, he's spilled the beans!!!! Er, all down his chin...... And now seems to be hopping from one leg to another uttering unintelligible grunts.....
"MMmmmmmmmmffffff gggiiiiinnnnggggg HHHHhhhhhhhhttttttt AAAAAaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

How correct you are sir can be answered by the innumerate amount of post pub admissions to A&E with outpatients speaking a foreign language, but generally getting the point across of, "I'll bloody well sue Heinz/Breville/HP/Tesco", only to have to pay costs as bread companies have yet to invent the technology to print on slices of bread. "WARNING, CONTENTS MAY BE HOT"

What about ice-cream toasties?

Toasted sandwiches arent evil- its not their fault they are so hot and cheesy.

Okay then. They may not be inherently evil But at times, the oh-so-inoccent, cool enough to eat, highly pleasant bread wrapped toasted snack will leap up and bite you on your chin! And don't forget the bit about the beans!!!
Ha!
Answer that one genius!!!

no toast is benign , not evil, toast is friend to bread, prolongs its life. Enhances flavours, develops nuances ,, playing the strings of texture around your mouth.

no, toast is good, embrass it

although if you live in a hot climate i could see your point

i think it was freud who said sometimes toast is just toast

I had a girlfriend once who called toasted cheese "roasted" cheese. Mind you, she was a nurse who also said it was OK to microwave bacon because "thats how they did in the hospital" she worked in. Needless to say, i'll never make that mistake again!

Maybe you should eat toasted icecream sandwitches.

aaah the best of two worlds.