h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What is the cost of Christmas?

One's sanity.

To whom?

Stomachache?

It's all free.
Santa just gives us stuff.

His Elves make it for free, cuz they just love
the sweat shop conditions at the north pole.
It's hard to sweat when it's 40 below.


~jwf~

42.

£3.85 on Amazon. Other online music retailers are available.

RF

Your Dad wanted the Kinks CD too, then?

B

I was thinking of PSB. But whatever works for you!

RF

There was a thing on the radio here a few days ago talking about the Christmas Price Index. There's an organisation in the US (where else?) which each year calculates the cost of the gifts in The 12 Days of Christmas.

If I remember rightly, this year it was about $21,500 and had increased by about $400 from last year - mostly due to the increase cost of gold (5 gold rings) - though the price of French hens increased by 50% to $45. The moral may be "sell gold and buy French hens"

Johann Sebastian Christmas is a corrupt judge. He is famous for having a low price. You can buy yourself a favourable outcome in any trial for only 42 euros or a crate of Beaujolais.

Feisor has hit on what I was looking for. +3 for the "Christmas Price Index"

The $21,500 (more accurately $21,465.56) would only buy you one of each day's gift, so any guesses what would be the total cost of the accumulated gifts (day 1: partridge+pear tree, day 2: turtle doves+partridge+pear tree, etc.)?

Also, any guesses what the most expensive single item is?

One of the leaping lords?

The swans? They'd have to buy them from the Queen, after all.

Yes, "swans-a-swimming" are the most expensive followed closely by "ladies dancing". At $750 a swan that's $5250 per day for 6 days - a grand total of $31,500!

If there were any klaxons, there would have been one for mentioning the Queen, though. Being a US company they do not have that problem.

The dancing ladies earn $608.12 each per performance.

Ah. Didn't think of that.

I still reckon that employing a lord to leap for you would cost a lot of money.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article5581547.ece

The going rate seems to be £120,000 per year.

RF

Lets not forget the hidden costs for the recipient here.

There are 184 birds in total. You're not going to eat anywhere near all of them in twelve days, so your going to need a huge freezer, and you'll need some one to slaughter them all - a pheasant plucker perhaps? Either that, or you'll have to go shopping for some very big bags of bird food.

Assuming there's 40 cattle along with the 40 maids-a-milking, you'd need to either slaughter them - again to go in the freezer - or feed and shelter them, which would cost a good bit.

And what's the point of forty gold rings? Four per digit? Are these gifts for Jimmy Saville? This will probably increase your contents insurance payments too.

Pear tree's can grow up to seventeen metres tall. And there's twelve of them. That's one heck of a garden needed. It'll need a lake too for the 42 swans if they don't get the chop.

Then there's all the people playing instruments. What's going to happen with all the animals (assuming they are still alive)? There's going to be carnage when they are spooked by the drums and pipes. More fees for the recipient. Plus they'll probably end up with a noise abatement order for the four days of music, the constant chirping, squawking and mooing.

So in all, great presents, thanks. Couldn't it just have been a jumper or a pair of socks like everyone else?

The Pennsylvania Ballet gave the price of the lords a-leaping which is apparently $441.36 per lord per leap.