h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A583049

This has been to the wrighting workshop and is in a verry good sate .

Hmm, well all the facts are there, but it all seems a bit random, especially your first paragraph - it sounds rather as though it's following on from something that isn't there!

I think it would be a good idea to start the entry with a short introduction telling us what the sigificance of the name James Bulger actually is. You could start it with something like, "On [whatever the date was], [age] year old toddler James Bulger was tragically kidnapped and murdered by two ten year old boys."

Put this in front of your current opening paragraph and it would make a lot more sense! I see that you've run it through a computer spell check, but may I reccommend you read it outloud to yourself? For instance, you obviously mean "murderers" when you say "The murders our now eighteen", but the computer spell check failed to pick this up.

Good work so far, please keep going, as it's not ready quite yet!

your advice has been took thank you.

I fear this thread will become a victim of the Peer Review format-police because the heading is not posted in the correct fashion - as mentioned on the PR home page guidelines.

These excellent rules have been put in place to help h2g2 Scouts and Editors in their work.

The correct format is James Bulger - A583049

Hope that helps
Loony

*ashamed*

Yes, I meant to point that out but got carried away with the subject matter...

Mr T are you moving that the thread be sent to the Sin Bin for breaking the format rules? If so I will second you.

Yes, why not.

I do have The Power, after all, and we all know what happens when you don't adhere to Peer Review Protocol.

I await your email

>>"The correct format is James Bulger - A583049"

Uff??

Oh, stop going on about the format. It's a good article, one that the Subs would probably not mind getting their hands on. Aaaagh! I'm turning into a Scout!

*realises he's becoming a Scout, rushes of to decide whether or not he should volunteer*

Whoami?

I think your plate is pretty full as it is! We're clamping down on incorrect formatting as the rules ARE there for a reason, and it makes things easier for everyone if they're kept to. If you want to make further comments on this piece, I've made a new thread at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F48874?thread=125119 P.S. I've not spoken to you before, Whoami, so here's a .

Thanks Big Bad Mr T. I am pretty busy right now, but since I will be free by the end of the week, I'll be OK. Then it's summer holidays, so I'll have more time. So I have decided to voluneteer. i suppose this truly makes me an h2g2 addict. Four badges would be a bit OTT, I suppose, but too late now!

Well, if you can hack it, go for it! Perhaps you could try and collect the whole set

Good luck.

But will he handle the regimented discipline of being a member of the Scouthood?

I'm up for it! I will work by the rules. I hadn't realised how much of a problem the whole post-name thing caused. Thanks!

sorry for buting in but what do you mean by format?

As for this article, as the author says, it's been to Writing Workshop, but he seems to have not acted on any advice that he was given (some of it quite lengthy advice). (see http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F57153?thread=124562) As for the format - it states on the Peer Review page that "The subject of your Conversation must be in the right format, or we'll kick your recommendation into the bin. It should be in the following format: A123456 - Title of Entry" which the author did not do. Hope this helps. :) ps. Don't apologise. You're not butting in - don't worry about joining in any conversation; the more the merrier.

And certainly don't worry about butting into a conversation that you started in the first place!!

well what`s the answer ?

NOW IM CONFUSED!!!!! but i did take the advice but what should i do about the title of entry?