h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Battle of Turnham Green 1642 - A21609119
Author: Bob Stafford (Keeper of The Treacle Shadow) - U3151547

Who wants to join in
Mat?????

Had a quick scan, looking good so far, will come back for more later

The info looks good

Just a style thing to watch, it should be day and month in dates, so November 11 should read 11 November and so forth.

I'll have a further nittery pickery when I've done some research that might be helpful

This website might be useful as a resource to get some finer points of information to help bring the Entry to life a little more

http://www.btlse.co.uk/drupal/node/18

To establish the importance of the battle of Turnam Green it is important to know the events leading up the battle and the Kings march on London. The Civil war had only started on August 22, and both sides were unprepared for a proper war.

Turnam - Turnham

Not sure you need to have the bit about the Kings March, as you go into the details in the following paragraph. You could swap the intro around so it reads like this;

The English Civil War had only started on 22 August, 1642 - and both sides were unprepared for a proper conflict. To establish the importance of the Battle of Turnham Green in shaping the course of the war, it is useful to know of the events leading up to it.

In spite of Prince Ruperts advice to move south and take London as fast as possible. King Charles was reluctant to fight the army of Parliament and before coming to battle Edgehill he lead his army away from London it marched west to take the towns of;

Derby.
Stafford.
Shewsbury.
Chester.

- In spite of Prince Rupert's advice to move south and take London as fast as possible, King Charles was reluctant to fight the army of Parliament. So before coming to battle at Edgehill, he lead his army away from London, the force marching west to take the towns of;

And you probably don't need the fullstops after the name of each town either

After the battle Edgehill October 23 1642, King Charles army took the town of Banbury on October 27 , the Royalist forces ransacked the town, stripping it of everything they could take and vandalising the rest. Then went to Oxford October 29, and set up his capital, King Charles then attempted the capture London.

Fullstop after 27 October, then proceed with The Royalist forces etc.

Rupert's men started to ransack the town, stripping it of everything they could carry off and vandalising the rest, their actions witnessed by many civilians.

You used this phrase already, maybe something alittle different?

The population turned out in thousands, many of them women, all volunteered to help with the defences, raising massive earthworks. The events at Brentford had galvanised people into action.

volunteered - volunteering

Essex's Army and the London Trained Bands formed its core, and they were joined by thousands of civilians ready to defend the road to London. "a large mass of humanity standing impassively as the Royalist Army lined up to the west."

Where's the quote from?

The Royalist Army, about 12000 in number, short of supplies and food,

12000 - 12,000

The Royalist army then numbered 12000 and was now severely short of ammunition, whilst the Parliament army was 24000 plus a large number of the population of London.

12000 - 12,000 and 24000 - 24,000

The King ordered his men to withdraw West, and the vast citizens army started to make its way back into London.

West - west

And the failure to head Ruperts advice to rapidly reoccupy London before Essex possibly cost the King the war.

head - heed

Turnham Green. Today

remove the fullstop

There is a public park at Turnham Green today and Chiswick old Town hall is situated opposite.

hall - Hall

Nice easy read Bob, just a few minor hiccups that PR would iron out I feel. You'll need to watch out for curly apostrophes and change " double quotation marks to ' single ones too though

All done thanks Matt

No problem

Here's a couple more EG Entries that might be good to link to so as to give readers some more background;

A523450 The English Civil War

A622937 The Causes of the English Civil War

How many pubs?!

Phewf...

(oh - approximately )

Hi Matt.
All done thats finished I think apart form the inevitable tweeks.
how dose it look to you.


Bob...