h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Marlon Brando - Actor - A21563840
Author: Opticalillusion - media mynx life would be boring without hiccups - U231227

I believe this is ready

Hi Opti
This is a good solid bio, just needs a bit of tidying up

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7211467.stm
If you'll just take a moment to read that you'll see that Christian Brando recently passed away (I thought that was what your footnote was going to say).
As this Entry is about his father, you don't need to go into the details but you should mention his death, eg:
ChristianChristian later spent five years in jail after he shot his sister Cheyenne's boyfriend at Brando's Los Angeles mansion. He died in January 2008, aged 49. His sister Cheyenne committed suicide in 1995.


Just before his death in 2004 from Lung failure,
=
lung failure
and you can link to A27019505 under "lung"



north of Tahiti with his
=
north of Tahiti, with his

had eleven children five of which
=
had eleven children, five of which

That's all for now, I'm a little tired. I know there's some other snippets I can give you later during the week, so I'll be back

Well done, keep up the good work

Oh and well done on finding that "Being a Mistress" link, I had forgotten about that Entry, and I'm going to go add it to a few of my entries tomorrow

GB

I'm sorry, <> that should be:

had 11 children, five of which

I'm off to bed now

Okay. Well, this entry is informative, but clunky in places. A few things popped out at me.

I think you should attribute the first blockquote with the name, rather than just "a critic". Since the BBC article you linked to doesn't have the name, I googled it and came up with the name David Thomson (http://www.marlonbrando.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=16&Itemid=32)

"all of these were considered flops by his fans and critics"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the word "flop" refers to overall reception, rather than description. So a critic or fan wouldn't consider a film a "flop", they would say it was just bad, and then it would be subsequently described as a flop. So the phrasing here doesn't really work for me.

I'd maybe mention that A Streetcar Named Desire basically launched his career, if memory serves.

"Then in 1972 Brando returned to the spotlight playing the mafia leader"

I don't think "leader" is a good word here. "boss" or even "don" would be better, I think.

"Brando had the ability to make people think that he was anything the director wanted him to be, but instead of just becoming the character he was asked to bring to it his personality too. He found this irritating and after he'd filmed the role didn't speak to the director for twelve years."

It isn't clear which movie/role/director you're referring to here. I think you mean "Last Tango in Paris", but you mentioned three different films in the previous paragraph.

You sort of mention his death in an off-hand way. That seems kind of a strange way to go about that. Up to you, but I'd have a declarative sentence of how/where he died.

I've just gone through the points both of you have mentioned and corrected the entry.

Can you just look again at the footnote I gave you, Opti?

<>

should be:

Christian later spent five years in jail after he shot his sister Cheyenne's boyfriend at Brando's Los Angeles mansion. He died in January 2008, aged 49. His sister Cheyenne committed suicide in 1995.

Sorry for the confusion

Ooops sorted it out

anymore pointers? I've the at the ready

Evening, all!

This Entry could do with a lot of work to improve the style. As Punctuation Police, it's not really our job to comment on style, but we'll say this: try and reduce your use of the words "then" and "also". Using these words makes the entry seem like a number of unconnected events, and makes it look like a list of facts which has been cut and pasted from Wikipedia and rewritten.

Now for the nitpicking...

At the age of nineteen he had moved ... no need for "had" here

There he learnt method acting; a form of acting using the actors own emotions ... change semicolon to comma, add an apostrophe to actors
(everything on each side of a semicolon should be able to stand on its own as a proper sentence)

Paul Newman; who once remarked ... again, change the semicolon to a comma - the section "who once remarked..." is not capable of standing on its own.

"Despite the fact that Brando was able to be anything he wanted to be from a Hell's Angel to a tree consequently making fellow actors believe that he was the king of 'method' acting, Brando was happy to be a recluse and '[throw] his career away'. In his words 'Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse. It's a bum's life. Quitting acting is a sign of maturity'."

Please explain this sentence. You haven't mentioned Brando throwing his career away anywhere else so can you provide some more details?

I Remember Mama ... this should be in italics

started appearing on television taking part ... we recommend a comma after television

Was the programmme really called Actors Studio without an apostrophe?

He also played Terry Malloy in On the Waterfront that led him to win an Academy Award.
... it was not Terry Malloy that led his to win the award. Rephrase this so that it is is performance that led to the award.

didn't fair well ... should be "fare"

many of these became flops ... They were flops from the start.

achieved the Academy Award for Best Actor. He also obtained an Oscar ... this is puzzling. You know, presumably, that an Oscar is an Academy Award. So why do you list it twice?

instead of just becoming the character he was asked to bring to it his personality too ... we do not understand what is meant here.

"had 11 children, five of which are from his former wives" ... this is not clear. It suggests that five children are from his first two wives, unless he divorced his third wife as well.

He later had a private funeral in which he was cremated. ... once Brando is dead, you can't refer to him having things.

I've gone through what you've said and made the necessary corrections.

this is faultless

I agreegotta be time well done Fruitilicious

for your support people

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

HOORAY!

Well done, Opti!

Lil, mamuomar and other researchers who have supported me

OH!

ur WELCOME

Well done, Opti!