h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 6

At the airport, Amy got me checked through in record time. Airport Security was a different matter, though. As we waited in line, I decided to get to know my companion a little better. "Have you done much flying?" I asked her.

"I fly regularly," Amy replied. "I pretty much have to. I have a high-end travel agency that caters to celebrities, and I'm also much sought after as a tour guide."

"Did you start as a flight attendant?" I wondered.

She grimaced. "No, that would have reminded me of my failure to qualify as a pilot. I went to flight school, but failed the written exam. Twice." I feared that she was about to weep, but instead she steeled herself and said, "Fortunately, I'm able to use this as a tool for reassuring passengers who are nervous about flying."

How so?" I asked, realizing that I was probably one of the most nervous passengers she would ever need to reassure.

"I tell them that the worst possible danger would be for me to be flying the plane, but since I won't be, they are already safer." She gave a tight smile.

Once we were through security, we had a an hour to kill before our departure. I considered calming my nerves at the bar, but I noticed that Amy was in line at a kiosk where flight insurance was being sold. "I sometimes have trouble getting my baggage back," she explained when she noticed that I was watching her. "The flying itself is perfectly safe. Statistically, you're safer flying in an airplane than bathing in your own bathtub."

"Is that because airplane rest rooms don't have bathtubs?" I asked, intending it as a joke.

"Yes, that's it exactly," she smiled.

Just then the loudspeaker carried a message to the effect that Utopia Aloft Airlines now had bathtubs and showers in all their planes. "That's the airline we're flying on," I exclaimed.

"Just remember that you'll be perfectly safe as long as you don't take a bath in flight," she added.

[Amy P]

Brilliantly written Paul.

Thanks.