h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A87815181

[The story so far: Grandpa shows Viola and Blake the eastern quadrant of the Blemnox estate when, without warning, a goose flying overhead dive-bombs them. Blake kills the goose and confirms his suspicions (l.) that it is one of the geese from his farm in Badkarmastan, and (2.) that it was planted by his enemies to do him in. Grandma calls them back inside with news that Blake and Viola’s son Jasper needs to talk with them.]

Viola didn’t mind going back inside after the goose attack. “Be careful,” she told Jasper over the phone. “Your father and I are at Blemnox with my grandparents. You need to evacuate the area where our house was located – it may be booby trapped. Your grandfather is dead. Your grandmother is still missing. You can stay at their house ‘til it’s time to go back to school. We’ll have a funeral if we can stay clear of dive-bombing geese long enough to plan it.”

The evening was still young, so Grandpa gave Viola and Blake a guided tour of the house. “Here is the hall of mirrors, patterned after Versailles,” he said, showing them a tiny room barely six feet wide and twelve feet long. The walls were, as promised, covered by mirrors. “My ancestors would have built a bigger hall, but they didn’t have enough mirrors to fill it.”

“Couldn’t they have bought more mirrors?” Viola asked.

“They did, but my great-grandmother kept breaking them by singing too many high C’s whenever she saw mirrors. Now, this next room is the pantry. My ancestor had hoped for a ceiling mural like that of the Sistine Chapel. His brother had vetoed the idea elsewhere in the mansion, and this was his last shot. There was only one artist in the Blemnox area at the time, and he specialized in landscapes. My ancestor suggested a depiction of Hannibal crossing the Alps with soldiers and elephants and all. -- plenty of landscape in that idea.
Turns out the artist couldn’t do elephants – no models to work with. An army of cabbages and pumpkins is what he came up with. Nice theme for a pantry, though.”

Deb

Thanks, Deb. I must have had potatoes and cabbages on my mind after reading Lanzababy's journal about that vegan meal she had.

[Amy P]