h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As Paulh sat down at Santa Claus's dinner table, he was introduced to other people who had been rescued from peril by Santa. "I owe my life to Santa Claus," said the Indian man who sat to his right. "My name is Pi Patel, and my ship sank in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I was on a lifeboat with Richard Parker for many weeks before Santa Claus saved us from death."

"Is Richard Parker here?" Paulh asked.

Pi's eyes twinkled. "Richard Parker is a Bengal tiger. You should have seen how he scratched Santa Claus while being loaded into the sleigh for return to the jungle he came from." Santa rolled up his sleeves to show the scars. "I have been a Hindu and a Christian and a
Muslim, and now I am a Santa Clausian," Pi concluded.

"Santa saved me from Gargamel," said Grandpa Smurf, a snood-wearing purple elf who sat to the left of Paulh.

"I like Noam Chomsky," said Jar Jar Binks, who sat across from Pi.

"Why Noam Chomsky?" Paulh wondered.

"Because he summed up all the wisdom in the universe for me when he said, 'The colorless green ideas slept furiously.'"

"Santa saved me from drowning in a teapot at the Mad Hatter's house," added a dormouse who sat near the end of the table.

Suddenly Paulh realized that the table had grown very quiet. A waiter was going around the table distributing pies. All of the guests were now holding the pies in their hands and aiming at Paulh.

"What is this?" he exclaimed.

"This is the build up to the Grand Climax," Santa Claus explained. "The next episode is the last, and we have to do something that readers will remember for years to come -- pie-loving readers in particular...."

[Amy P]

heh heh heh

*chuckle*

The next episode will be my last. Everything will be tied up in a beautiful package. Hint: Santa Claus might *not* have a pie fight in mind.You'll have to wait and see.