h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Talking about Schlager I would like to make a small difference here between "Schlager" and "Volksmusik" which you could call a subgroup of Schlager, although I am not quite sure about the official difference between the two.
However, Volksmusik is most easily recognized by it's unfailable oomp-tah beat and the often traditional or semi traditional or even fake traditional costumes.
Some time ago just about any kind of german music which was not rock music would tend to qualify as "Schlager" (which, I think is one of the reasons so many german musicians used to sing in English - just out of fear to find themselves becoming Schlager-stars), but now it has become a bit more difficult. First, some kind of german popmusic has developped, which would not like to be confused with Schlager. Second, the "Grand Prix d'Eurovision" which is the european Schlager-Festival, has, under pressure from the record companys, allowed every country to sing in other languages than their own. So there are German Schlagers in English now.
To make it all the more confusing, any german pop group could try to qualify for the Grand Prix. I am not sure, if that would automatically make them a Schlager group. So maybe it's safer to stick to the Volksmusik definition of Schlager, which definitely gives you the promised brain drain every time you listen to it.

Thanks for these comments.

The music the article was 'inspired' by is referred to in Switzerland as 'volkstuemliche Schlager', which translates as 'popular' or 'ethnic' Schlager - presumably to separate it from the more modern Schlager.

You're right to say that the event known in the UK as the Eurovision Song Contest is known in the German-speaking world as a Schlager-festival. This must cause native German-speakers a lot of confusion, as there's no way Katrina and the Waves or that Israeli transvestite would fit into the definition of Schlager-musiker. (Although the latest contest winner, that Estonian effort, was so perfectly Schlager I would not be surprised to hear it that it really came from Austria.)

Just to add to the confusion, Germany, Austria and Switzerland have their own private televised Schlager contest in the Autumn. No-one else is invited, and the Swiss usually win. In fact, maybe it's local patriotism, but in my opinion the Swiss make the best Volkstuemliche Schlager. In contrast, the Germans nowadays appear to feel it's all a bit beneath them and the Austrians tend to concentrate on no-brainer drinking songs. As an example of the latter, check out the latest Austrian hit, 'Ich bin der Anton aus Tirol', which is relentlessly awful.

Regarding new German pop music, I would have to say that a lot of this is excellent, and I can understand their keenness to distance themselves from the word 'Schlager' - which after all just means 'Hit' in German. The most useful term I have heard is 'Die neue deutsche Welle' (German new wave - although nothing to do with punk rock, sadly.) My all-time favourite 'neue Welle' tracks are
"Weil ich Maedchen bin" - I don't know the artist, and
"Ich finde dich scheisse" by Tic Tac Toe.
Whilst the former could possibly be mistaken for a Schlager song on grounds of its title, there is no way the latter could be.

"The Germans nowadays appear to feel it's all a bit beneath them" - I'd agree, although it is interesting to see how the tendencies in German contributions to the Eurovision song Contest changed during the last years. After sending Guildo Horn with his Band "Die orthopaedischen Struempfe" (The orthopaedic (?) sox) two years ago, who at least confessed to love Schlager but was nominated mostly for trash reasons anyway and entertainer Stefan Raab last year, who's song "wadde hadde dudde da" caused considerable indignation in the german rainbow press, this year they apparently decided it was time to be good again and sent Michelle - a woman whose qualities lie mostly in being blonde and petite and having had a bad childhood. And singing a song about living love, of course, which she suggested was guaranteed to make you immortal and protect you from loneliness. (Sorry, I will never figure out how to write short sentences). It did not help, though, to get her higher marks than Stephan Raab had got the year before which restores my faith in some kind of higher justice.

By the way: The interpret of "Weil ich ein Maedchen bin" is called Lucy Lectric. And of Tic Tac Toe I prefer "Isch liebe Disch", ('I love you' with a french accent): It has a perfect Schlager title which at the same time ironizes itself.

You seem to have a different definition of "neue deutsche Welle" than I (and everybody else I heard using the term) have. NDW was sometimes in the 80s. Core characteristics include nonsensical lyrics and bad synthesizers. There is a website about NDW at [URL removed by moderator] . While NDW is quite different from Schlager, it has a similar reputation amongst those with good taste, although some NDW songs are definitive cult classics, such as "Major Tom (Völlig losgelöst)", and a lot of other songs are so bad they good again. BTW, are there any Swiss people who remember "Verbrechen auf Schallplatte" (crimes on records) on DRS3? They used to play the top n (don't remember exactly) worst songs ever. (Lot's of them were Schlager or NDW). Unfortunately I only heard it two times (they did it once a year) before they canceled it.

Unfortunately I cannot check what I said about Neue Deutsche Welle, as my entry has been hidden for Reasons I do not comprehend. Neither did I write in German nor did I use obscene language - as far as I remember.
No hard feelings, but I would be glad if the person who submitted it to moderation would be so kind to tell me what it is he or she found offensive about it?

Thanks Lotte, I was imagining that the message had been moderated because it contained violent personal abuse, presumably from a fan of Austrian pop music. If it doesn't, like you I cannot understand why it should be 'Modded'. Did you include a link to another website?

Regarding Neue Deutsche Welle, my interpretation is any light pop music WITH GERMAN LYRICS from the early '80s onwards. Besides the tracks I mentioned, other examples would therefore be Nena's '99 Luftballone' and perhaps the works of Die fantastischen vier. I admit, however, this definition could be rather broader than most people's - I got it from (I think) a DJ on the German radio station SWF3.

Of course, the NDW movement started with insipid synth-pop - Trio's 'Da Da Da' springs immediately to mind - but then this was simply mirroring trends in the UK, where the dominant music of the early '80s was also (slightly less) insipid synth-pop.

Yes, I do remember hearing DRS3 deliberately playing the '10 worst records'. I don't think they do it anymore, though. They play enough bad records by accident, without playing them on purpose as well. But at least they never play 'volkstuemliche Schlager'.

If any of the contributors to this thread are still around, I am embarkin g on an entry on German pop music and will possibly be quoting you or at least using some of the points you touch on. The more I thnk about it, the bigger the subject gets, but there have been so many recent developments that I can't resist bringing them to everyone's attention here.

Thank you.
TC

Of course, I shall include a link to this entry.

By the way, I wouldn't define "Volksmusik" as a "subgroup" of anything. AFAIK it is the biggest selling type of record in the German speaking world, incredible as this may seem. I'm afraid I haven't any idea about it and can probably only name about two artists from the genre, but it is heard and liked by an amazing silent majority.

Volksmusik is surely not a subgroup. This would be a very strange system of classification.

However, I don't believe that it's the biggest selling type of record in the German speaking world, unless of course Austria and Switzerland spoil the statistics.

In Germany 'Mediacontrol' publishes weekly lists of the best selling records. Volksmusik is almost never among them. But maybe Mediacontrol excludes Volksmusik?

I'm tempted to assume the latter. Given the current population statistics, there are far more possible (and potent) customers for Volksmusik than for anything else. And as of now, there are three evenings on German TV that are devoted to it , but there's none for Pop or Rock etc.

On the other hand, there are three nationwide broadcasters only for rock and pop music, and I think I once saw the Kastelruther Spatzen in the Mediacontrol LP charts. And, Volksmusik cannot sell singles well.

Where can I find definitive figures?

I'd try to ask a usenet group. For example: de.markt.musik, de.rec.musik.misc, fido.ger.musik, or fido.musik-ger.