h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A QUOTE A DAY FOR AFTER YOUR BIRTHDAY:

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

Currently listening to: Complete and utter silence. Except for one bird out side which is going to find itself 6 feet under if it doesn't shut up!
Well, it's time to update your space. You're now officially 1 whole year older which makes you...erm...hang on..*14+1=? so if I divide by 3 and make a multiple of erm*..sorry about this, lemme get my calculator...*1...4...+...1...=....15!*.. there we are... you are now 15!
Ha ha! Cyber cake...byte..computers...megabytes...hee hee! I don't get it
Glad you liked your present. Amazing what you can buy for 5p these days! Heh heh !
*sigh* Hannibal Lecter!
I saw The Silence Of The Lambs last night, and I honestly thought it was not even the slightest bit gory! And yes, I did think it was better than Hannibal. The acting was much better, but in all fairness Antony Hopkins was still very good in Hannibal. The script let the film down.
I had high hopes for Hannibal too, since Ridley Scott directed. But he went more for the gory horror flick type than the director who did Silence Of The Lambs. Who used tension and mystery to convey a sense of horror, letting the audience use their imagination. Instead of just showing us in the goryist way possible like Hannibal.
Sorry about that, I'm still in exam question mode from Tuesday. I should review films when I'm older!
Lucky! I always wanted a little grass growing kit! I also wanted a little mini desk zen garden. With the sand, pebbles and little rake ! How cute!
Gak! I'm turning into a simpering girly girl! Must be more tom-boy, can't...let...mother... get me... into... skirt, noooooo!!
Phew, that's better (I put on the scruffiest pair of trousers I could find), anyway...
Heh heh, I'm eviill! Me and Vickie were supposed to be meeting up with Chloe & Lauren yesterday at the cinema. We were standing there waiting for them and their boyfriends but we both thought "Oh, I just can't be bothered!" So we went bowling instead and ditched them. Then we went to see 'Bend it Like Beckham' which was excellent as David Beckham was only in it for about 20 seconds and didn't have to act.
Then we went back to Vickie's house where we ate, watched The Silence Of the Lambs, edited our geography project then Vickie watched the Likely Lads while I made flags. One saying 'Hannibal' and the other one saying 'the Likely Lads'.
Don't ask me why because I don't know.
When we were in the car on the way back from the cinema we saw Chloe & Lauren walking down the street looking very annoyed, these 2 very slimy looking boys trailing behind them. (They were their dates, ha ha!) Looking like they would rather be anywhere else in the world. Hah hah! That's so funny!
I hope you're aunties and whatnot didn't do any serious damage. Relatives sometimes don't realise how hard they are pinching your cheeks !

Auntie: Oh my, look how much you've grown!
Me: Yes, I have grown loads since you saw me yesterday.
Auntie: Are you still at college?
Me: I'm 14.
Auntie: How's the love life going? I bet a pretty girl like you has had loads of boyfriends!
Me: No, I'm a practicing nun.
Auntie: So Nina darling, how's paul?
Me: My name's Natalie not Nina. Nina's my cousin.
Auntie: Sorry Nina, I'm going to have to go now, your uncle Gerald is choking on a cocktail sausage. I'll just be a minute!
Me: Don't hurry back.
then
Grandad: Hello Donya*, my haven't you grown!
Me: No not really.
Grandad: How's college?
Me: I'm only 14.
Grandad: Of course you are. When are you going to settle down and have a family Marika?
Me: Do you even know who I am?
Grandad: Marika, be an angel and go get my hearing-aid.
Me: I'm not Maria..oh never mind..

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listeing to: "Murder on the Dancefloor" (my sister is watching MTV) Arrgh! No more disco! Please! Pleeeeeaaaaase!

I popped into Sheila's birthday yesterday. Just so I could give her the present, collect mine and claim some of her homemade pizza and pies It was quite fun, really - we ate apple pie with whipped cream while watching 'The Mummy'

Us: "Yum! This is really delicious... You just have to blend it with the juice and -"
Voice heard from the movie: "To remove the mummy's brain, first you stick a fork-like thing up the nostril, give it a good swing, and yank the whole thing out..."

It was a bit like that when my sister and I used to watch Power Rangers, and almost *every time*, they fought an evil demon made of what we had just had for dinner "Arrgh! Look out! It's the PIZZA MONSTER! " Or "MEATLOAF MONSTER!" or whatever.

I'm currently creating a dramatic love story with my Sims... "My darling Cosette! Leave your husband and run away with me!" "Oh, Mortimer! But Marius is the father of my child! We have to think what's best for little Marie!" Sometimes I get a bit carried away...

Oops! A little message just popped up saying "An error has ocurred in Internet Explorer. Internet Explorer will soon close." I hate it when that happens! That means I have to restart the computer... I'd be better off with a large, squarish rock!

A QUOTE A DAY MAKES ME WANNA BE SICK, GOTTA GO:

"Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about."
Heller, Joseph (1923)
US novelist. Catch-22, Ch. 17, 1961

ME:"Gak, I'm dying! Help me..."
MUM:"Oh be quiet, it's only a stomach bug."
ME: "Stomach bug today,6 foot under tommorow."
MUM: "*sigh*"

Currently listening to: Little house on the prairie theme tune. God, I hate this show!
I'm ill! Funny really, I was up till 3'o-clock ambeing violently ill everywhere. Then I got about 3 hours sleep so I was too tired to go too school anyway. *Giggle*! I guess you had to be there!
Well, I'm only missing, geography, history, latin, PE (wahoo!)and science! Doesn't really matter, cos the exams are over!
I love The Sims, have you got the Hot Date one? What other sim love affairs do you have going on at the moment?
*Sob* All this talk of The Sims has made me realise how much I wan't my own! Wahhh !!
My stupid machine won't let me run The Sims OR Sim City! Stupid piece of junk *attacking it with sledge hammer*...I..HATE...YOU...SO..MUCH!
Ahem...your large squarish rock is starting to appeal to me now...
The Mummy was quite good, have you seen The Mummy Returns? What an 'original' title . I do prefer The Silence Of The Lambs though...I have my reasons!
Mmm, apple pie....! I love apple pie, and chocolate pie, and blacberry pie, and pecan pie, and ki-lime pie, and caramel pie... in fact I love all types of pie. Except plum and rhubarb!
I had better go and eat my mashed potato with onion and cheese in it. I quite like it when I'm ill, the rest of the time it tastes like poison. Funny that, isn't it ? Oops, that made no gramatical sense what so ever! Oh well...bye for now!

ta

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

P.S. HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR SPACE YET? YOU ARE NOW 15 NOT ERM...HANG ON... *15-1=?, SO IF I TAKE AWAY THE MULTIPLE OF 32 ...IT SHOULD BE..ERM*.. LET ME JUST GET MY CALCULATOR..*..1..5..-..1..=..14* NOT 14! WELL THAT WAS HARD!

Eeek!
Run for your lives people! The Meatloaf Monster's coming!

Currently listening to: Complete and utter silence . Except my father's snoring and my "rock"'s loud "DRRRRRRNN..!"-noises. Okay, it's actualy my computer, but I've started to call it a rock, and in the end, perhpas it thinks it is, and wham! (not the band ) it starts working! (Okay, it looked much better on paper)

Aw, poor you! Here, let me make you some tea...



There you go - And I agree, 'Little House on the Prairie' must be one of the most boring shows ever - and once I actually liked Michael Landon, but that was when he was 'Little Joe' in Bonanza - not the best show ever, I agree, but I thought it was a whole deal better than Little House. Besides, it has a much cooler theme "Ah-dum dr-um dr-um dr-um BONANZA! dum dr-um..." It's so terribly hard to hum in typing, isn't it?

Actually the Mummy isn't all that great. I felt way to compassionate for the monster (Memo-thut... Mimo-thek... Meno-pause... Whatever his name!) and that lady, the librarian chick, ran around like some drunk Mary Poppins and of course fell for the hunky acting-tough-but-soft-underneath guy . But that could be just me.

I saw a snippet from 'Silence of the Lambs' today (which is one of the best movie of its genre), and I completely cracked - I've never laughed so much in my life! I know I'm crazy, but suddenly what I had seen in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang got mixed with the movie! I'm not surprised if you don't get my point, but here it comes:

There's a scene in Chitty, where Caractacus (brilliantly played by Michael Ball ) is meant to hand a ball over to Truly Scrumptious (bare with me) and when Truly is about to take the ball from him, their hands touch, a tense moment, they fall in love and the whole audience go "Aaaaaaaw..." And all is very sweet and splendid... But today, when I watched the sene in "Silence..." where Hannibal gives Starling the file... I mean it is the excactly same scene! I just hadn't realized it before! My mind started to make a rather funny crossover...

There. It's out of my system. I'm crazy, I know

Oh, and today, I learned that my favourite teacher, Petter, is actually a professor! Like... Wow! How do you go through a whole year and not know such a simple piece of information like that? He is one of the youngest teachers on the school, and suddenly he is the most educated one! It may not be so important to others, but I'm surpised when I see so much information just float past me without me noticing. Except this no one knew (but I was the only one that was genuinly surprised) Professors to me are small, bald men with glasses and chalk-dust on their vests, not tall, well-dressed, young guys that work out regularly.

Oh, and the Sims is the only one I got (and House Party, but I can't get it to work )

There. No more ranting about horror movies, weird crossovers and teachers suddenly becoming professors... I gotta go and cut the grass. Whoa! That grows fast in this heat!

No more quotes for today!
Currently listening to: MTV, Sum 41: what we're all about, superman O.S.T That song's quite good! Oh wait it's Rihanna (can't spell it)now, this is good too!
Well our love for 'Silence Of The Lambs' has brought us closer together. Me because I love the human flesh eating, incredibly sexy, well educated, ace, specimen of manhood, Hannibal Lecter. You because it reminds you of Micheal Ball, that amazingly tallented man!
My Mum's 'rock' has been very well behaved today! Not a single 'illegal operation' or a 'fatal error', which is very unusual. It's up to somthing...
Tea! Yay, I have been craving this all day. I always do when I'm ill, other wise it makes me depressed. But not today! As I'm ill!
Have you got a wetsuit? I do, and I'm so proud of that fact! It's blue and reads 'Tiki', I also have a bodyboard and I want a surf board! I bet you never imagined me doing that eh?
I'm pretty cool if you think about it!
Lucky, all our teachers are 'old' except for two. One hates me and threw a book at my head, he's full of himself too, I guess that's what you get when you teach History. The other is probably gay, if good looking. Shame, I really like him. I have the same taste in music and he may be taking me for GCSE next year. I don't fancy him or anything!
Oh god, it's that b!tch from Neighbors on MTV, Holly Somthing, and she's singing that awful song that the Turks love. 'Kiss kiss' I'm sick of it, they played it all the time when I went to Turkey.
I'm on the phone to my friend but I'm not listening to a word she's saying all I can hear is blah..blah..Mary-kate...blah...ashley..
e-mail me..blah..ill?.. huh...blah..are...blah..you there...blah..nat?
There, she's gone now.
How's the grass growing going? I hope you're not smoking it instead of cutting it! Oh wait, you already did that joke.
Memo-board, Men-sturate, Men-tal, I dunno what his name was. The more I think about it, the more I realise how implausable that film was. Oh that reminds me of a femenist joke!
Men-sturate, Men-opause, Men-tal. Have you noticed how all women's problems start with men?
He he!
Truly Scrumptious, Caractacus Potts? Pfftt! Heh hee!! Oh gosh, what names! That's so funny... ahh!
It's Liberty X on MTV now. They used to be Liberty but they lost a court battle, the name Liberty was already taken and was being used as a band name by several middle aged black guys. So they had to become Liberty X. But you probably knew that already...
Eminem & d-12 now, 'purple hills'. Gosh that's so annoying! 'I think he's gonna swallow his tongue...' How'd they know about poor old 'Mulitple' Miggs in The Silence...?
Oh that reminds me,
When miggs flicks 'come' all over starling at the asylum. The other crazy guy in a cell yells at Miggs calling him an idiot (and worse things), anyway he features at the end in the credits as:

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter
Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling
Mr Whatever as 'friendly psycopath'

Hee hee! That's funny!
Well, I had better go and pack my bag for school. Sort out my books and all that. I'm reading THHGTTG at school this week. People are starting to become aware of my infatuation (I prefer undying admiration) for Hannibal Lecter. So I decided to put them off the scent by reading more by D.N.A, nothing wrong with that. It just makes them think I was a slow reader, instead of the truth that I was reading it over and over and over... Mwhahahahahaha!
That made no sense did it?
Ahh well, speak to you tommorow.
Bye

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Corrently listeing to: "People Are Strange" with Michael Ball . I love that song - it fits me so perfectly! "When you're strange/Faces comes out of the rain/When you're strange/No one remembers your name..." See, it makes no sense whatsoever! I'm pretty sure The Doors had been smoking some heavy stuff when they wrote that one

Hey - I read those books long before you did! I actually, too, was madly attracted to you-know-which-cannibal once ... Oh, and I remember when first I saw 'Silence...' my mother owned a video store, and she got an "edited" version to put up in the store - appearantly all the worst scenes had been cut. After a while she got an "un-cut" version, and we decided to watch that too ... I've never been so disappointed in my life! I actually had to ask some officials what the difference was - and they told me it of course was when Gumb sews the skins together. If you blinked, you missed it ...

I'm in a great reading dillema! (And I can't even spell) I'm needing a good book to read, desperately! Here's how it is: I've been reading all the DNA books (in English) for months now , and now, when I've read them all, I've been looking forward to read some horror-stories, particulary Bram Stoker's Dracula (in English). Then my mother buys me "The Code of the Woosters" by P.G. Wodehouse (in Norwegian)... Here's my line of thought:
A) I need a small break from funny books, and I promised myself I once should read through whole of 'Dracula'.
B) I've been reading only English books for many months now, and should return to my native language before I forget it altogether.

What do you reckon? If you don't decide, I'll go ask my "Magic 8-Ball" ...

I should go now and practise for my French class. I'm in a small play about La Rèvolution Francais - I'm meant to burst in, crying out: "Libertè! Ègalitè! Fraternitè!". Bye!

P.S: No, I haven't got a swimsuit .

A QUOTE A DAY, BWEH:
"I am only half there when I am ill, and so there is only half a man to suffer. To suffer in one's whole self is so great a violation, that it is not to be endured."
Lawrence, D. H. (1885 - 1930)
British novelist. Letter to Catherine Carswell, 16 Apr 1916, 1916
&
(My Mum said this quote would be a better one. The cheek of it, shouldn't be looking over my shoulder!)

"Most of the time we think we're sick, it's all in the mind."
Wolfe, Thomas (1900 - 1938)
US novelist. Look Homeward, Angel, Pt. I, Ch. 1, 1929

Currently listening to: 'Say my name' by Destiny's child. In all fairness It's on MTV, I didn't choose to listen to this.

I think if you're strange people remember your name. People have no trouble remembering who I am

I'm still ill, *takes a sip*. I should be back to my old self by tommorow, oh no. Maybe that's not such a good thing.

I hope you're not attracted to you-know-which-cannibal now, or I'd have to have a fight you for him. Which I don't want to do but I will if the occasion calls. Ok, that's it! He's mine!
Grr...arg..*weak snarl*..yarrg...grr..arg...

I think in all the excitement we forgot he wasn't real .

Aha! You haven't read 'Dracula', I have! So there, I've done somthing before you ! Ha, in your face. I did somthing before you did! *insane giggle* Hee Hee, look whose the trendsetter now Tilly my dear! Mweheheheh!!

*sigh* Honestly, I can't go one posting without breaking into manic laughter.

Welcome to Natalie translates. Today's words: "Libertè! Ègalitè! Fraternitè!"

...............Processing data................

Libertè: Dragon...(no that's libellule)...here we go: Liberty!
Ègalitè(isn't that a spread? No?)well then it must mean: equality!
Fraternitè: sandal?....nope, it must be: Brotherhood, fraternity.

That was fun!

I thought that Jame should have tried on the 'woman suit', that would have been so cool! Morbid and sick but cool none the less! There was actually very little on Jame Gumb, and more on Hannibal. I'm all for Hannibal as much as the next guy (and loads more!)but the entire point was to talk about Jame, he was in it less times than Jack Crawford! That's stupid really...

Nice to know you appreciate my opinion over (if only slightly) a "Magic 8-Ball." I say:

"Read the book your Mother bought you, then read some horror. You shall appreciate it more that way."

May I reccomend the following horror books:

Frakenstein by Mary Shelly
(Girl Power)
Assorted tales by Edgar Allen Poe
(Especially the cat one, that's cool)
Red Dragon by Thomas Harris
(I can't remember you telling me that you'd read this one)
IT by Stephen King
(I only read a bit but I checked under my bed every night before going to sleep, for a month)
Black Sunday by Thomas Harris
(Don't know if you read this one either.)

Well bye for now!

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: My rock's gentle "DRRRRRRRRRN"-noises.

Hey, do you think those stomach bugs are contageous over the internet? Guess three times what I'm currently experiencing ...

Don't worry, I gave up Dr. Lecter some time ago... I would slap you around in that fight anyway *comical snarl* Anyway, I'm more into Lestat, the vampire right now .

Yeah - most people I asked told me to read the comic book first - even the Magic 8-Ball gave an encouraging "Absolutely!" So I'll let Dracula rest a bit. I've actually kinda fallen in love with the book on the library: I mean it's an rather old paperback, with loose and oily pages, smudgy ink and ripped cover. I think those books are sooo charming

Let me see on this list of yours (Not meant to crush your hopes or anything
Frankenstein by Mary Shelly - I read that one in '98... I felt strangely sympathetic for the monster (as always ...)
Assorted tales by Edgar Allen Poe - I haven't by far read all, but my favourites have to be the Tell-Tale Heart and... er, that was the only on I have read so far.
Red Dragon by Thomas Harris - this was the first Harris book I read... Have you seen the movie? I haven't.
IT by Stephen King - this I GOTTA read sometime!
Black Sunday by Thomas Harris - that's the non-Lecter one, isn't it? The one with the air-ballon or something? No, haven't read it. Should, though.

I also absolutely love the Vampire chronicles by Anne Rice . "The Interview with the Vampire" (was not so impressed by the movie), "The Vampire Lestat" and "The Vampire Armand". But of course, while all is sooo charmed by Louis, I find Lestat strangely attracting ... Have you read any of them? I plan to read them right after I've read Dracula... Which I KNOW you have... *Sob* I haven't... My whole world is falling apart!

Nah, not really. Know what I did right after school today? I sat on the bus for an hour to go to one of my sister's friends, where we jumped on her gigantic springboard all day. It's this year's craze. No, it's actually last years craze, so now everyone have them but don't know what to do with the buggers I haven't jumped on one since I was five, and this was a kinda a late birthday present from my sister... No doubt I'll feel it tomorrow. Aow..!

And we try out new methods in Enlgish class now. The problem is, we ("we" in the meaning of "everyone but me" ) switches over to Norwegian all too easily. So now Svein-Petter, the teacher/professor I told you about, also my English teacher, have made a deal with us that we pay one Norwegian krone (= £0,0827649 - I have a lot of time on my hands ) for each Norwegian word we speak during English class. We made the first try today. All went surprisingly well, just a few kroner was paid out. When suddenly, Svein-Petter suddenly go: "Oh, suddenly I can't remember what this word means... Where have I left my memory? It's the funniest thing, I absolutely can't remember what "neutered" means... It's so simple, I know. Anyone of you can remember what it means? In English please." I want to put him out of his misery so I put up my hands and says "Please, please, can I say it in Norwegian..?" he says yes, and I tell him. He blushes slightly while the class giggles, and says "Well, er, I don't think I'll charge you for that one, then." I just knew it would made the class giggle - that immature bunch of... er, kids.

I'm still a bit dizzy from the springboard, and I really should start writing that article I'm meant to deliverin school tomorrow...

A QUOTE A DAY:
"Reading someone else's newspaper is like sleeping with someone else's wife. Nothing seems to be precisely in the right place, and when you find what you are looking for, it is not clear then how to respond to it."
Bradbury, Malcolm (1932)
British academic and novelist. Stepping Westward, Bk. I, Ch. 1, 1975

Currently listening to: The Fresh Prince of Bel-air on TV. I've swithched over to MTV now, and it's Nickle-back, 'How you remind me.' Good song! Our music teacher let us listen to it on the radio today

I'm just going to put 'a quote a day' as it's easier than thinking up a new rhyme every day!

Umm? Three guesses eh? Let's see:
1. Amnesia?
2. Broken arm ?
3. .........erm.....this is really improbable but could it be...a stomach bug

Ahh, the newspaper quote thing. In English we're making a newspaper. Joy ... I'm stuck in the same group with the most annoying girl in the world. She's infatuated (I think that's another word for obsessed) with someone called 'Jack Ryder.' He's a young 20 somthing who stars in the soap 'Eastenders.' So as you can probably guess all the headlines are along the lines of:
"Exclusive interview! Jack Ryder!", "Massive poster! Jack Ryder!", "Real Life Story! I met Jack Ryder!" and "Win A Date! With Jack Ryder!"

So we ended up having a 'productive discussion.'I said to her,
ME: "Can't we have someone else on the front cover? Change a few of the articles so it's not all about that slick haired grease monkey?!"
FRIEND: "Ha! And who would you have all the articles on?"
ME: *grins* "*imitates 'his' creepy noise* pffstt, take a wild guess Clarice..."
FRIEND: "Get away from me you freak!"
ME: "Gladly, the pleasure's all mine...."

I'm doing all the spooky and unnatural stuff, i.e. horoscopes, strange but true and I'm doing the illustrations.
That's cool !

Bweh, It was really hot today! I hate the heat!!!!

Gun...check, sedatives...check, chloroform...check, miscellanious weapons...check, portable toilet...check, 2l's of bottled water...check, spare clothes...check, chicken repellent...check, bible...check. Well it seems I've got everything.

In case you don't have muck-up day I shall explain what I was doing before. When the year 11's break up (either to go to college or stay for further education) they go out with style. Basicly tommorow is the day when they go 'mad' and pull pranks and general chaos reigns (They do this for the first 2 lessons and we never get any work done on muck-up day. For us It's Maths and Science, YES!!)The sort of stuff the do is pretty awesome,
Last year they:
They let loose chickens in the school.
Egged people and teachers. They threw eggs everywhere possible!
Water balloons. I fell for that one, well I'm rather hard to miss.
Invited loads of other year 11 boys, who were also breaking up, into our ,all girls, school. I quite liked that one!
Played REALLY loud music in the courtyard. People/the public complained!
Hung a really HUGE and RUDE banner up, on upstairs science's wall, so no-one could get it down.
Hid all the schools clocks. I had to wear a watch for 4 months.

This Year they will (or so we have been told):

Put laxatives in the water fountains.
Water balloons. The old tricks are the best!
Cling-film the toilet seats.
Put police, no entry, tape up around the school. Well that's Sarah's brothers school. We're twinned with that school so the girls here may do it too.
Paint the toilet seats black, so you can't see that it's there and you sit in it.
Put itching powder on the toilet paper. Ouch!
Put vaseline on the door handles.
Set more animals free.
Egg people, again !
The loud music (again), they have done that every year since I've been at this school.

Our teachers are going to be preparing for this. They are probably there as we speak, boarding up windows and turning off the water supply.

Black Sunday by Thomas Harris was the one about the balloon and I want to get it this saturday.
I asked and I found:
"There is a film of Red Dragon called "Manhunter." It was made before Silence of the Lambs. It's not that standout a film even though it was directed by Michael Mann (Heat/Ali) They are supposedly going to film it again with Anthony Hopkins in it. I've heard rumours that they were going to get Edward Norton to play the lead."

Thanks to, Cyclops (Formerly Sick Bob. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of corrupting thoughts), who told me everything I needed to know and more about the subject of Red Dragon! But no, I personally haven't seen it.

Gigantic springboards? What the I don't think we have them here yet. Poor little, backward, Britain. How slow are we?

*snigger*,neutered, hee hee! Ahh that's funny...

I'm going to go now and spread the word that we're all doomed to a whole day of egging and vaseline. I'll tell you how bad it was. I'm probably going to sleep through it all, or read. That's my speciality, I read through anything interesting that happens. Like the time that girl got beaten up by a rival gang outside our classroom, I was just sitting there reading!

Only I can do that...

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Happy 17th of May! Hipp, hipp, hurra! But then again, I know they don't celebrate the 17th of May in Britain, largely because it's the Norwegian National Day, the day when our constitution was written - back in 1814. Yes, siree...

It's also the hardest day in the year for every band musician I played in three different parades today - and two different concerts. and since I live (lived, actually) just around the corner from where the constitution was actually written, I have one of the hardest days in the whole of Norway! Here's how my day went...

First, at 07.00, my band played the National Anthem when they raised the flag at the local school. After that breakfast at the school. After that, the Eidsvoll parade. This is goes a horribly long distance (and lasts for hours), and we have to play marches the whole way ! It's not unusual that musicians pass out ... We arrive at the Eidsoll Building (where the constitution was written) and then we play in a concert there

Travel by bus the whole way back to school, where we play in another concert... Then it's the local school parade, not quite as long but long enough! After that, we get to eat dinner: Two hotdogs each ! I was starting to feel quite dizzy . Then, a bus takes us to the local nursinghome - we play through all of our marche there, as we do every year... And then, it's the breake of the day: Two whole hours! Like, wow ... (I personally used them to pass out on my grandmother's sofa).

Then it's the Bunad parade, it's only the second half of the Eidsvoll Parade - still long enough! Then, finally - we are finished. But God - I feel like the Hell's Angels gang has taken turns on beating me up My head hurts, my back hurst, my legs and feat hurts, my lips are bleeding, my arms are aching, and generally, I don't feel so well ! Think I'm being a pain in tghe ass now? Only wait 'till tomorrow, when I really starts feeling miserable ...

Anyway, a funny thing happened today - at one of the conserts I mentioned, a rather famous Norwegian actor, Kåre Conradi, was going to appear as the famous poet, Henrik Wergeland (Conradi is famed for being the Princess Mãrtha's Best Man in the wedding soon to come). And my own mother was going to put on his makeup and be his dresser. I get a break from the music, and my mother hauls me to his dressing room (it's actually a converted office ) I have my sister's autograph book in my hand. He has to do a very quick change (going from a poet from 1800 to himself) but he was delighted to sign some autographs.

I sit in the corner, my mother is helping him take off his vest, and he's just about to take off his pants, when suddenly some official storms into the room, comes as far as "Mr. Conradi, I was sent here to say -" suddenly he sees us, he does some adding up in his head and stutters "Oh, I think I'll leave you three alone..." I don't want to guess what that guy though when he saw all that... Well, it turns out Conradi is a truly sweet guy, and he writes me a message: "Dear Tilde, it was nice to meet you this 17th of May. And your mother's really good to put on makeup! Lots of hugs, Kåre Conradi" Yeah, he was a nice guy (he even gave me a hug) but it still was nothing near meeting Michael Ball !

We have a kinda a Norwegian version of what's happening at your school here too. You can read about it in (my own!) entry, "The Coloourful Traditions of Norwegian Students" (or something like that) Tell me how your day went!

God, I'm knackered (I'm even too tired to correct all mis-spellings)...

A QUOTE A DAY:
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
Douglas Adams

and

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."
Douglas Adams

Currently listening to: 'Light my Fire' remix by Will Young. It's quite good!

I'm never going to be the same again, it was horrible I tell you! They get worse every year. They threw washing up liquid all over this poor girl and she had to go home and wash her hair. They did the eggs, the banner, the water balloons and the REALLY short skirts!
They did new stuff too:
They threw bright pink powder paint all over lockers, people and anything that got in their way. Put silly string over the doors and lockers, and put paint on the toilet seats and generally messed up the school.

I read your entry: "The Colourful Traditions of Norwegian Students,"
please tell me that doesn't really happen. It's put me off visiting Norway for good now, well at least when the students are practising their traditions.

Poor you , must have been a really hard day. Well it's saturday now so kick up your feat and relax!

Talk about a celebrity, he needs someone to dress him? Crikey! I should be recieving that kind of treatment. Honestly....
I was shocked when I read what you wrote: Trousers round his ankles? Ooh, Tilly! I'd have thought better of you .

Check this out! It's the best Hannibal site I could find. I don't think 'the silence...' link works as I've tried it before. I'm too lazy to create a link, just copy and paste:

http://www.mgm.com/hannibal/home-flash.html

Tell me if it works !

Oh It does it automaticly? (I can't spell) Well I'll be blown! My my, knock me down with a feather duster, Shivering timbers me hearties, bweh! That's seriously cool ! I've been wondering how you did that for ages! It did it automaticly then?

Gosh I'm sooo weird !! We're aaaallll weiirrrdd!?!?!?!!!! Bweeb, floosh...schlorp...carrrkkk....zneeeeooppp!!!

Ahem, well. I'll talk to you soon.

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Oh - and eggs are just SO difficult to get out of cotton clothes Oh dear... And throwing washing up liquid, that was new to me... But I know that if you put a packet of washing up powder in a fountain (or running water generally) you get an amazing effect! I'm talking about a gigantic wall of foam here - it's just so cool to run through ... Admitadly, I have never poured powder in the fountain (Honest! ) I have only experienced it when the students like to mess around...

Ohh... I've got a sunbruns terrible, you can peel off the skin in my face. I look like a lobster ! But it also looks really funny, cause it's only my face and hands, and I'm totally pale any place below the shirt collar... I've allready used two bottles of Aloe Vera to cool me down. Literally; I'm smokin' !

And nothing happened in that dressing room with Mr Conradi undressing . Honest. No, really honest! Don't laugh knowingly, miss! Allthough he is voted as Norway's third most attractive male celebrity... But that's just pointless trivia! Anything beyond that hug did not occur, no matter what all those gossip magazines say
He's currently playing in "Stones in his pockets" in a theatre in Oslo - first time I saw that show, I laughed so hard I nearly choked to death ! I gotta see that show again some day...

Oh, my mother and I had a real shopping frenzy today - in flower shop ! We're going to decorate the garden for the official celebration of my birthday on Monday. We've got lots of cute little flowers that's going to make that gardener next door green with jealousy . So thikn of me today, crawling through the dirt, humming "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park", while planting a lot of Gardenias, forgetmenots and whatever. I love flowers. Too bad they make me look like the Grim Reaper - two weeks is my total of making the suckers survive - and that was even "Eternity Green" !

The link works, but I'll have to check it through later, because my garden work is waiting...

A QUOTE A DAY:

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
-Steven Wright


Currently listening to: MTV, somthing by Pink.

Gosh, I'm so tired ! I have had a really busy weekend.

On Saturday I messed about on my computer, running up and down the stairs transfering stuff on floppy disks. I changed my background to a Hannibal one that I found on that web-site I told you about. I made about 100 web pages too...

On Sunday I went shopping and bought a pair of shoes (blue sketchers), and ordered a t-shirt from TOG24 (Tog 24 the religion, sacrifice your pussy's now!). Then I went to a friends house, then when I got home I broke up with a friend over the phone.

A wall of foam That sounds really cool. I shall try to convince the school to buy a fountain so we can do that on our muck up day!

Ouch! I hate sunburn, I hate the sun, It's eeeviilll !! Aloe Vera works well but a cold bath is even better on sore skin.
The sun is one of many reasons why I like being one of the pale kids, instead of running outside to have a water fight with my school chums, I sit inside with a novel or a sketch pad and moan about politics, or praise something everyone knows nothing about. Like Hannibal Lecters artistic ability (or how good he probably looks in speedos!)

Enjoy your gardening!

I'm sorry this has had to be such a short note, my friend keeps on e-mailing me trying to have a go at me for breaking up with her. Exams tommorow, gotta go and prepare! Eek, I'm so scared! I shall take with a pocket sized photo of Anthony Hopkins to bring me good luck. And I shall also take with, the answer book!

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listeing to: My mother, aunt and grandmother discussing politics

I've just had my official birthday celebration . I got two wallets, a handbag, a pen, a note pad, a bottle of perfume and a picture of my father when he was 15 (I'll think I'll ease him a bit ). Oh, and 500 kr (= £41,8812). Truls, as always, rather charmingly arrived with no presents and hundreds of appologies Seems like he hadn't discovered that all shops is closed the last three days (because of the holdiay) He promised he'll buy me an amazing present as soon as the shops opened (Although I still haven't recieved last year's birthday present )

Of course, with lots of crazy old aunts, and Martine (4) and Maia (2 months) I didn't recieve much of the attention And Martine always gets so hyper when she gets too much attention. Martine wants to play chess on our gigantic glass chess board... Martine can't play chess (she just moves them about and scream triumphantly "I won! You lost!") and got chocolate stains all over my beautiful glass board Don't you just love kids?

I'm glad she isn't always like that . Oh, and Truls finally got Sims House Party working, so I retired early from my own party to create a few moe (how pathetic is that )

Trude, Martine and Maia had to sleep over last night, so they all slept in the "animal room", or "the office". I had to have little Roosta's hamster cage in my room. I had completely forgotten how that was like! I woke up because of a kind of "Rat-tat-tat-tat... Rat-tat-tat-tat..." I thought he was running in his wheel, but he wasn't. It dawned on me (remember, this was at 2 AM) that it sounded just like a chubby hamster running over a wooden floor ! I immedatelly jumped out of bed, turned on all the lights and investigated the floor under my bed. After a bit of this, it also dawned on me that I didn't have a wooden floor My room (and every room on that floor) is carpeted! I investigated the cage, and a tiny furry nose peeked out of the little sleeping hut. I felt a bit silly - I'm glad Roosta was the only witness...

Excuse me - I can't let that delicious jello go to waste Talk to ya later!

P.S: Truls says hi

A QUOTE A DAY:
Today's theme: Enemies. Nothing to do with my recent fights with a girl in my class. Ok, It's everything to do with her!

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer
&
"Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy."
Spike Milligan

Currently listening to my 'rock's' gentle humming noise. Not so much gentle as incredibly annoying.

Happy official incorrect-day birthday!
Wahoo! Great presents! I always get makeup. I'm starting to take it personally!

Oh yeah, say hi to Truls for me. What a great guy, he obviously cares about you to try and get that bloody maxis game to work. It took my Dad (and many highly paid computer engineers)3 days to get it to work. Oh and my cousins still unavailable, but I'm working on it

My 2nd hamster (RIP James, he looked like Hannibal. Red eyes and all that) loved escaping. I lost him about 3 times, he was a great hamster though, *sniff*. He always came back when he was hungry.

Well, It's official. I'm a idiot. We had our Latin exam today and my god it was so hard my eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets!

Let me give to a few examples of the types of questions we had:
Mater et duo liberi ..........flammis. Then we had to add the correct word and translate.

I put: A mother and her two children spontaniously combusted. Nope, that can't be right....

That was a really easy one but another said:
From the following passage find a past participle noun with the ablative case

I would have done really badly if I hadn't known the story of the Trojans and the wooden horsey thing. We had to translate the story in our head then answer questions on various parts of it.

I nearly missed the exam anyway. I couldn't find M4, which is where I thought we were supposed to be having the exam. By the time I found it, I was 5 mins late and the room was the wrong one anyway. Then I had to go and check which room it was again, (it turned out to be V) and sprinted all the way down the corridor where I was yelled at and told to sit down and shut up. Lovely....

I have been at that school for 3 years now and I still can't remember where one room is.

Don't even get me started on small relatives. You sat through my complaining about them once before. If you want to hear it again I suggest you go and look back on previous messages because I'm too tired to type it all out again. It does really bug me when they get chocolate over everything, even though they don't have any chocolate in sight

More exams tommorow. All I ever seem to do these days is have exams and make web pages. Whats the point? Everything has become boring and pointless, I need some adventure in this sad little thing I call my life. I think I shall go to bed, at least I can dream about Hannibal Lecter and assorted 'interesting' things.
You are the most interesting thing in my life at the moment. I need help!!

ta,

-R.G.W
[RESEARCHER.GONE.WRONG]

Currently listening to: The dialogue of some terrible American drama serie.

I am the most interesting thing in your life? Ooh, say that again And second: You need help! Fast!

I just have to rant a bit, so please don't believe me when I say:
(almost) ALL TEACHERS ARE CRUEL HYPOCRITES!!! Okay, here's the story: Each year there's a marathon , and all classes are encouraged to send two teams; boys and girls - at least 5 runners in each. Most people know that it's a terrible hard marathon, and it gets even more stressing as you represent your class. Not surprisingly , our teacher discovers we haven't got enough runners, but still; No one can force you to join the teams (after all, you'll miss a whole school day) But instead of calling it off, decide not to have anyone represent our class in a marathon, she yells at us for half an hour! Where she calls us "wimps", "lazy", "not supporters of our school community"... I'm talking about abuse! A clear wind-up (when she has taught us not to wind people up! ) In the end we had enough to join the marathon, so I guess her plan worked, but I still don't like it...

There. All out of my system now. You know, money gambling in my school is not allowed, so the students have found other means of currency: Hair If you lose an agreed bet, you'll have to shave off your hair (although only guys are stupid enough to make such bets) Now, rumour has it that prof. Petter (the one I told you about) made a bet, something about Arsenal, and lost! Appearantly he is going to have a student shave his head in school tomorrow! Now that will be the event of the month! I was a bit surprised, though,
A) He is naive enough to make such a bet (but I know he's a good sport, and don't mind a bit of fun)
B) That he would gamble that hair of his! He has very rich, dark hair, and I know he's going to look rather silly without it.
But then again, it's not the first time a "scandal" sweeps the school, which is proved false the next day Only time will tell, I guess ...

Tomorrow I have to recite a poem for my teacher. A lot depends on it ... I'm reciting "Siste Reis" ("Last Journey") by Henrik Wergeland. He wrote it on is death bed, so I got to capture that feeling to make an impression. I'm planning to turn off most of the lights, let "Incassum, Lesbia" by Purcell play in the brackground, as I read in a quiet, swooping voice...
"Now my Last Journey lies ahead,..." I'm praying for goosebumps. Fingers crossed it goes well... But more likely; I'll start to stutter and forget half of the lines - after all; My comprised poem contains 18 verses! But, hey - I'm prepared for all. If Wergeland himself would rise from his grave and stagger to my classroom, I would be prepared

Puh - I'm glad I don't have to learn latin French, English and Norwegian is all I can handle. Where's a babelfish when you need it, that's what I want to know Lots of luck with your pile of exams. I have another week (of freedom) before I'll have to start on mine

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"
-Jean Kerr

Currently listening to: Bruch, Violin concherto No.1 in G minor, Op. 26:Adagio. The Motzart Festival Orchestra.

I'm so tired, it's unbelievable how tired I actually am. After you consider what a day I had it seems quite appropriate.

I have had one of the worst days of my life.
First, I:
Sat in chewing-gum on the bus.
Had to pick it out of my skirt.
Got kicked out of our form room, I had to eat my lunch alone on a bench in the cold. Everyone else went somewhere else and didn't tell me.
Had to run the 800 meters without stopping.
Got wet.
Put a hole in my new tights, well not on purpose. They laddered themselves.
Was forced by my father to wear a really stupid hat to answer the door. Don't ask, he get's some kind of twisted pleasure out of seeing me suffer.

I know what you mean, ALL TEACHERS ARE CRUEL HYPOCRITES!!! They are indeed full of it.

Tell me if it's my imagination but is there be somthing going on between you and Prof. Petter? The way you talked about his "very rich, dark hair," and when you said "I know he's going to look rather silly without it."
Maybe my imagination is running away with me here but could you have deep inner emotions for Petter bubbling up inside of you ?

Good luck with your

... poem, speech thing. I hope it goes (or went. I'm so late getting back to you)
Gotta go bye!

Currently listening to: Michael Ball sining "Dancing on the Ceiling" "Oh! What a feeling/When you're dancing on the ceiling..!" Oops, there it stopped

I've had a pretty lousy day myself... I knew I was going to have two really hard tests and the poem-thingy I told you about. I think did rather well on the tests, and the poem-thingy is now scheduled for tomorrow. I gave a sigh of relief, when the teacher came in and said "Are you ready for your test in atoms?" I couldn't believe it. I had had so much work I had managed NOT TO NOTICE the little square in my weekplan saying "Test in atoms" !! I wasn't prepared at all. It went lousy . Then I discovered there was a mass of home work I had forgotten to bring to school, and I have to righten all the wrongs on a previous math-test for tomorrow, only thing is it's locked up at school right now Terrible indeed.

Hugs all around

Me and Prof. Petter? Oh no, not you as well. My sister have been accusing me of the same thing for weeks. I'll try to tell you the same (and maybe you'll accept it just as easily ) Prof. Petter is the third best teacher I've ever had the joy of being tutored by (and that is a tough list) I can agree he is the youngest, most educated, most attractive male teacher at the whole of Onion Hill youth school (that's what it would translate to ). But come on - you know my deep commitment to being original. How can I be original when 80 % of the females at school allready have teenage crushes on him?

Besides, everybody knows there's only one guy for me ... Baby blue eyes, rich curls, a so-called "British" nose, delicious lips and charming dimples (Meaning Michael Ball)

Sorry, I feel like I should go and drool over a picture or something ... Cynical Tilly will hopefully soon return. We appologise for the inconvenience (Now I feel guilty. Rant a bit about your hopeless crush and make me feel better )