h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is undoubtedly the best mash in the world ever and is so simple as to be almost insulting:

Potatoes ... as many as you think you could possibly begin to consider eating
Butter ... full fat, high cholestrol, artery clogging type
Milk ... as close to as it arrived from its Mooing host as possible
Salt
Pepper ... must be freshly gound black
English Mustard

Peel and boil the tatties as usual. Make sure you don't boil them for too long though as this just makes them into a gooey mess, and renders them useless on the mashing front.

Heat up the correct amount of Milk in the microwave so that it is warm but not boiling.

Mash the spuds, add as much butter as you dare, mashing furiously , pour in the warm milk and you will get the fluffiest, cuddliest mash in the world.

Add S and P to taste and then a good healthy dollop of English Mustard. This gives the mash a tang yet to be surpassed.

Delicious hot or cold, with anything you choose so long as it's accompanied by a healthy dollop of Mayonnaise ...

yummy!

Along the same lines ... Bake a spud and spoon out the insides. Whip up a mash as above, perhaps adding a handful of leeks sweated in butter. Return mash to skins of Potatoes and pop back in the oven with a sprinkling of cheese, until the cheese melts and the top goes crispy ... scrum diddly uptious!