h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There is another form of miscarriage not mentioned here and that is a missed pregnancy. It happens when the egg implants but there is no cell division and therefore a miscarriage. Because it happens around the time your period would be due most women don't even know any of it has happened. For myself it was physically traumatic as my period lasted 12 days and there was a lot of pain. What is hard to deal with was that all prenancy tests showed negative so I didn't even know I was pregnant when I lost it. By the time I realised it was over and I kind of feel like a fraud even being upset about it. How can you miss something you didn't even know you had?

I'm sorry I missed this post at the time but I hope you see this. In answer to your question, I think... I know it's easy to miss something that you never knew you had until it was all over because it's so laden with hopes and wishes and deep meaning about our identity. It's shaded with complexities about our relationships and can change them dramatically, for better or worse.

Don't feel badly about grieving, and don't feel obligated to minimize your loss. It is unique to you. Honor it.

peace,
Ari

Ginger the Feisty i relate to you completely.
I had a miscarriage before 12 weeks and when the doctor told me to take a pregnancy test after 3 wks of me bleeding it came back as negative however the doctor sent me to hospital with a suspected ectopic pregnancy. Once at the hospital i had blood taken and they were confused over the fact it showed positive. As it happened i had had a miscarriage and it was just taking its time going through my system. But i, like yourself didnt know i was pregnant but still cried and took it really badly. It makes me wonder how i wouldve reacted if i had known i was pregnant. Either way i think your body is still going through the same experience whether you know or dont know, the hormonoes and the loss and we can't feel bad for our grief even though we didnt know we were pregnant at the time. I hope your doing well and its nice to read from someone who has been through something similiar. I wish you all the best