h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

at last - a new number on the scales.... my weight now starts with 14, as in 14 stone, not 15, and no longer either is it 16 stone - having said which, it is only* 14 stone 13 Lb, so still some way to go

Rate of loss is slowing, I was losing at about 5% body weight every four weeks, inititally, then that went to about 4.5, and now seems to have dropped to about 3% body weight, loss, per four weeks - so I guess I need to restrict calories more, and exercise more

Circuit training will be finishing soon, so I'll ahve to find something else for Wednesday's maybe just antoher gym session

In otter news, went to see consultant at hospital the otter day, which was a total waste of time. They are not goign to treat my ostioporosis. they're not going to bother monitoring my thyroid as it is low, and its expected to be low, as I'm not on medication for it. and they've still not suggested any alternative meds to treat it; untreated it can be fatal
She did murrmor something about my bone density scan, but then said she'd not looked at it, so she couldn't do something...
She's agreed to re-test for the penitious anemia antibodies that I tested positive for, two years ago, and retest B12 etc, plus do a testosterone measurement; but she won't measure my oestrogen/oestrodyle; despite my telling her I was concerned over the err... shrinkage I'm getting whilst symultaainiously having gone up two or three cup sizes on my bust - which to me does somewhat tend to indicate I'm converting a lot of the testosterone to oestrodyle... - but obviously they're not going to investiate that either.

Tried to suggest she might want to retest my hormone from start to finish, I.E., reassess the pituitary function (which I know is basically impossible as I'm on medication you can't go back to before I started replacement medications), but they can do some testings on the cortisol steroid axis, etc.
She didn't seem like she could be bothered to consider it, even when I pointed out how I had two acute coniditions at the time of diagnosis, a brain hemoridge a day or two before, and whilst having active cancer, either of which can skew the results of the blood test that got me diagnosed origionally... - I did try point out I wasn't sure what, if any treatment I'd had at the tiem of the hemoridge, I.E., anyting, like steroids to reduce brain inflamation?- which would have completely whiped out/suppressed my own production of cortisol and ACTH.
Just another wate of time.
I think my Drs think I'm some kind of retard or something, as they just treat me like I'm a subhuman moron. Guess I'll go back in a month o or two and be humiliated and dehumanised some more.

Building muscle will slow down the descent of the numbers on the scale, while still shrinking your size--the tape measure will likely be more useful than the scale, going forward.

Well said Amy - yes indeed don't worry about the rate of weight loss slowing, 2legs...

I know myself that it isn't a simple process - if I don't eat enough sometimes, then the first thing that happens is that less comes out the other end so I don't actually lose weight (which is good, as it gives me chance to get back on an even keel - I need to maintain my weight).

I'm so sorry to hear that it was a waste of time at the appointment again

Retesting from start to finish for the excellent reasons you state should have been what was decided...

Good job you feel better without thyroid meds, so that means you're not in such a bad level with your thyroid even though they won't test it... I see a side effect of too much testosterone is breasts... I'm still convinced you don't need cortisol supplement either, but the 'stress' of the exercise you're doing must help to use up the extra dosage so you feel better after exercising than if you don't exercise in a day...

Sounds like the doctors are upset that you prove they don't always get diagnoses right, so they're punishing you for it...

Good luck with it all, but look after yourself - don't get anorexic on top of everything else...

It sounds like it might be time to follow through with the threat you gave them months ago. They're obviously not following through with their assurances that they would pay more attention to your actual symptoms rather than their assumptions.

Or, possibly schedule a thorough second opinion from a better hospital in London.

thanks... - yes a side effect of testosterone can be breast rowth; us men have a hormone in us, that converts testosterone to oestrodyle; simularly female of the species has a enzyme that converts oestrodyle to testosterone; although mostly in females its a differnt adrenal hormone, DHEA (dehydroepiandosterone I think it is), that can be converted to testosterone; males and females both need testosterone, and visa versa, just in differnt proportions - I'm more* than happy to be growing breasts, since I decided the obvious solution to the changes in me due to the testosterone loss, was to become a transvestite, but; it does rahter indicate that I'm converting probably too much of my testosterone to oestrogen/oestrodyle, but; they obviosuly don't think so, or, as is just as likely; don't want to waste resources, especially money, on testing it, when they probably don't have NHS funds to provide the necessary meds, that inhibit this enzyme, or, indeed provide the funcitonally better treatment of combined testosterone injections and HCG injections (which would also keep my < lush> 'bits' having stimulating enough in order to cause some endoginous testosterone production); I think that's only availible in the UK either private, or if your a male wanting fertility in addition to just the testosterone replacement (on the NHS)...

I'm not entirely sure now how much use a second opinion would e; they can't really test the entire 'axis' from the pituitary, due to being on replacement hrmones, and stoping them isn't really possible; plus it'd interfer with things like buliding up to decent levels on the growth hormone and testosterone; it took months of injections to raise my testosterone high enough so I stopped having menipausal hot flushes - well my testosteorn level to start at that point was down to something like 0.08.... which is well within the statistical error of the test, so was basically zero 0- in addition having been on exoginous steroids, hydrocortisone then now the prednisolone for over tweo years, I've probably got utterly dammaged adrenal glands taht would not be able to recover, even if the pituitary was able again to produce the ACTH to stimulate endoginous cortisol production . . plus... I really don't think I've the energy to try figur eout how to get a second opinion, and go through the process of doing so - everyone says go get treated at a research, hospital; I am* at a university hospital! - mind, its falling to pieces..... --

one of the endocrine consultants left, a little while back (one I never saw), she's gone to London....

The really nice and good (and human able to talk to* a patient), female consultant, is now off on maternity leave, for several months,....

that just leaves the current female consultant... who is, in relative terms, OK... and the prof, lord on high king of endo who is ... neglegent and incompetant and can't deal with patients (he is, oddly, not a Dr, not a MD anyhow, just* an honary MD/consultant, due to his research at the uni) so they're down to two consultants....... - the app the other day was an hour and a half late, I was getting seen whilst a massive diabetes clinic thing was on.... which is of course about 99% of the patients they see I assume
I guess I should consider a second opinion, go to one of the hospitals in centeral london people have recomended on various online forums to do with all things hormonal.... maybe I should ask my GP... oh, I've not got a GP I think she's left the GP practise now, so I guess I oughta find a new GP there first who has some level of competance.... I think one of the GP is still there is OK who I saw before (he got my Hodgkin's diagnosed, and he's origionally from Suffock... - actually from the same village my Grandmother lived in so he must be OK... )

sorry, if I come across a bit... weirdly up and down emotionally, mood etc.... - for once I@m not to blame, that is so* down to my wonky hormones


oo; bsolutely I feel so much more 'normal' now, after I've done a good bit of exercise at the gym and the measurements etc, is a very good way which I use a lot; not so much measuring, but by what clothes I can fit into again, and how much looser some clothing is, etc - its fabulus to have legs again that look like legs, with muscles in various places, and ankles and everything - the exercise I think has helped an aweful lot in reducing the oedema which suddenly means I've got definition back in my legs (I'd not be able to do subcut injections in my lower legs now, even if I wanted; top of thighs I can still use, which is rahter handy mind...) and I can fit in some skinny fit leggins etc I was never able to get into - plus I can get the old 30" wasted, skinny fit levis on; true I cna't button them up yet, but they do* fit on my legs again!; loosely!

Me? anarexia? err.... bacon.... beer... nah, I can't see that happening really


Today food so far;

Breakfast;
2 rashers bacon, grilled.
2 large flat mushrooms, grille d with 20 G mature cheddar sliced into 22 slices, and put into the mushrooms; black pepper on the lot;

301 Kcal.

lunch;
half an avocado, chopped.
tomato, lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper.
half a tin of tuna.
a tablespoon of the rediculusly low cal mayo and a tiny bit of white pepper. - was gorgeous and so filling; 250 KCal (maybe a bit less actually)

and I'll probably have a pear and maybe a bannna soon, and then wahtever we decide for dinner, plus my 300 KCal (or a bit less) cheese and biscuit supper

Gym tomorro morning, ten pin bowling in evening, then up at about 6 AM, to get to hospital for 9 AM bloods, Wwednesday morning... - in the rush hour for the bus, so we'll just have an hour walk to hospital instead (and I do need to get up that early to get my head working and take meds and eat so I can take meds, and recover from the initial feeling dredful the meds cause, before I can leave the house, very annoying....)..

so then a walk to hospital first thing, for 9 AM bloods, and either a walk or bus home....

then back to the hospital at 5 PM, for circuit training in the hospital fitness club - maybe another walk there or ... or/and back, depending how we're feeling

Not sure my brain will ever feel 'right' again... - how much of that is due to the hormones I'm on/not on, or due to the hemoridge I had at the start of 2015, or due to chemo sideeffects, or... BoB knows.... just everything is oddly out of focus now, and unreal more than even it used to be, no focus, slightly blurry round the edges, - sort of failures in perception somehow, but so hard to explain; its why I can feel excruitating pain now, like when the Dr removed the port from my chest and the meds wore off half way through; I can feel it, obviously... but... so? I can just disocciate totaly from the sensation, as its not really like this is my body anyhow... if that makes sense

not done much today, went for a short walk to get some printer paper, and some onions, and ... I'm exausted and feel like a nap may be in order.... I assume I slept last night, its so hard to tell.... went up to bed about 2 AM, was till awake at about 4 AAM,and I was awake at 8, but I assume I slept before that... then sort of dozed a bit until I got up some time about 10 stupid damn hormones...

Must try decide what ports bra to buy, I think I do really actually need one now for some of the exercising I'm doing... - this isn't a sensation I was previously used too... hospita;

gym went a lot better again today an hour this time, a lot of which was on the rowing machine then the treadmill, plus some stretching and stuff ten pin bowling later, so I declined William's offer of a walk or I might just not have any energy left to get up silly early to make it to bloods at hospital tomorrow, in order to get home in time, to eat, and get the bus bacck to hospital for circuit training in the late afternoon just earlier, walking back from the gym.... sort of realising how totally I've changed my body shape in such a small time . . I'm so gonna show the (not very skinny) nurse in endo that its 'impossible' for me due to hormone problems, to lose weight back to my origional pre-cancer/pre-endo problems size/weight.... - lets see... I was 30" waist or 32" waist back then, skinn fit Levi's... I think 28" skinny fit levi's oughta prove the point (h hang on ... Ithinks* err... I can't ever recall being a 28" waist, not even when I was 16.... )

"Me? anarexia? err.... bacon.... beer... nah, I can't see that happening really laugh "

Good-o - I just worried because some of your posts sound like the internal monologue I had when I was anorexic... Nasty little demon voice that still pipes up occasionally, but I'm better at remembering sensible advice instead these days, so I'm just about OK...

Glad you enjoyed your gym session and I hope bowling went well

- a lot of it for me, is wanting to get back to where I was before cancer, weight wise, but more than that, health wise; which is future health as much as anything, like avoiding getting diabetes on top of everything else I got! - and combating the risk of heart disease due to both all the hormonal problems, plus the chemotherapy I had can dammage the heart a lot, and I was afterall a smoker for twenty years - plus having now already got this diagnosis of some kind of enlargement in the aorta (hope to learn more when I finallyl get to see a cardiac Dr in clinic, in about a weeks time)

boweling was good scores were a bit rubbish though

Well, a lot of exercise today

First walked to hospital to get ther e for 9, for the early morning testosterone blood test, plus they took blood for the B12 levels, antibodies (rechecking for the penitious anemia), and they did the useual full blood count, electrolights etc - got the bus back from hospital, but with the walk each end to the plus the walk through the hospital, and an hour to the hospital itself, that was an hour and a halfs walking

Then, back to hospital sports and social later this evening/afternoon, for circuit training... - so we walked there again, so another hour and twenty minutes walking or therabouts, again we got the bus home, as we were knackered - plus of course the hours circuit training

must summon up the energy to bath or shower soon!

just had dinner... cooked up a chicken breast, cut into strips, coated in pepper and paprika, cooked in the oven, with a small amoutn of o olive oil, and we had that with 150 G of fresh pasta each, plus a big bowel of salad, lettuce, cucumber, tomato, red pepper stuffed... and only 400 calories = doubt I'll even hit my 1500 KCal target for teh day today, but even if I did, the rough estimate of the exercise is 1000 KCal or more . . actually more like 1500 KCal with all the walking - but I don't feel tired... energized I guess - think I'll save ... carry over some of the spare calories from today, for tomorrow, mayb epop to the pub in the evening

Lost another 1 LB and a bit since last week slightly disapointing wasn't more - next week is the final week of the circuit training, so will have to find another exercise thing to put in the weekly events... maybe another gym session, or if I can, something differnt... not sure what... maybe swimming, or perhaps yoga or pilatez or something....

Sometimes your misspellings and typos are hilarious and disturbing. In a post with so much talk of health and medical issues, it's difficult to read about how good "boweling" was and your "big bowel" of salad.

agreed

Yeh. - stupid thing is, I noticed both of those whilst typing it.... but thought it best to leave them in... comical effect etc., my bowels are a whole differnt kettle of though much improved since stopping levothyroxin

Oh... I can tell I did a lot of exercise yesterday.... made it as far as to the polling booze with W, to go vote and just that short walk was enough for me today I think and I was up so late, breakfast ended up being lunch (which is never a bad thing for calories as far as I'm concerned.... gave me the excuss to have a larger breakfast as it was also lunch, today an omulette of back bacon and eggs no toast... or bread with it though, naughty naughty carbs ,wah> I miss bread )

so we've voted for the local councilers and also for the local mayoral election and only a month to go and its the election general... boared of it all so already

Just ordered William a new shopping bag; the handle on his old trusty bag gave way the other day so he needed a new one.... something a little more exciting and colourful than he had previously I thought.... - so I bought him a leopard print one! - I'll be able to match the shopping bag now, when we go out shoping together
I may have accidentially bought myself a new bra too,and i paid for the new cordaroyd pilafor dress I placed a bid on days ago and forgot about.... - a new dress for under £5, including the postage and cordaroyd.... - I can wear it in respect of the great professor of endocrine himself... who only seems to have one pair of trousers.... cordaroyd trousers.... serously... if I wear that dress to endocrine apps the nurses will wet themelves with laugher, as we already know the 'joke' fo the prof only having one pair of trousers, is certainly not lost on them I even got a dark brown colour for the dress, to match his trousers Gym tomorro moroning, so I think I'll not try fit in any exercise today... a rest day occasionally is good right? maybe a nap soon actually....

talking of not noticing just the numbers on teh scale... I'm still kinda shocked by how defined my muscles are already, although I know a lot of that is due to the growth hormone injections; afterall I may have been missing/low on GH since 1993, but my upper arms, and sort of top of my chest, plus my legs and really starting to notice the reduced lower tummy size in particular - just hope I preserve some fat on my tummy of course, of the daily subcut injection might get painful