h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Two days until my Birthday.

Not sure I should reaveal my true age, not in earth years at least. By some reckoning I think I'll be 17, but by other calculations, the number derived at would appear to be about 20 ish.

The tuth may be... higher... slightly... I think my imortal age, converted to earth years, actually works out t something like 39.. . OK. 40 I think. perhaps.

Not too aweful I guess, I wasn't sure I'd see my last bithday, afterall. Mind, now I'm just in such a mental fog most the time, I'm not entirely convinced I'm here anymore.

Though, truth be told, I'll always be 17. eternaly 17. seriously. You see.... this Swedish group wrote a song about me, many years ago.... 'young and sweet.... only 17....' .... 'see that girl..... the dancing queen....' yeh, they wrote that one about me. honestly.

Oh. badgers. that wasn't what I was going to write, and now I'm ing too hard to recall what I was going to say, which wasn't, of any importance anyhow, really.

woke lateish, after rubbish sleep; went up to bed at about 2, was still awake gone 4, got up about 9.

Took levo. then waited... took prednisolone... and just felt iller and iller. tried going back to bed, but coudln't sleep. cramp everywhere, muscle pain and weakness, dizzy, light headed, distant, brain fog, everything out of focus, room spinning in that odd way it does... palpitaitons, and, just not efeeling too great, basically.... so got up.... pottered doing nothing, unable to focus on anything, feeling too dizzy to sit, too painful to stand or lay.
tried later on for a nap, and did manage an hour or so, and now its nearly time for dinner - mor eof the stew left from yesterday (oughta last nearly a week I think).
probably with rice tonight

Just starting to wake up a bit now, and not feel so suicidally ill; yeh, looking at the time I'm due my next dose of suicide tablets, AKA steroids. Endocrine clnic on Friday, just hope I can ... get some sense out of this time, out of them, and/or at least contain myself sufficiently not to kill my consultant.

TMI section;

had a weird dram the other night, about my testicles making their final bid to rehouse themselves, re-asscending into the abdomin. which is an ever looming prospect on the testosterone injections I'm on, eventually ones.... bits, attraphy sufficiently that they just back up to from whence they origionally came that's gona be supper-odd when it happens.... in a bad way - mind, I'm not at all convinced I've not started making my own indoginous testosteorne again now, which is somthing I need to get sense out of the Dr about doing some testing for agin
*end of TMi section err, TMI section*

so. painful. so tired.

after dinner I think I'll shower and then go out and get some painkillers from the local pub. my legs might be working enough by then to leave the house; wasn't able to make it out into town with W this morning, was just too achying and didn't feel like the world was remianing stable/still enough to walk through it at that point

how odd. only one word of the title of this journal appeared.... err... I think* I typed all the other words.... but... maybe I didn't first sign of dementure.... well with that and the repeating things..... firs sign of dementure I think....

Right, dinner eaten, drugs taken, calcium, magnessium, zinc, and multi vit taken 9v (Vitamin D taken this morning already), so, I've had my post dinner cup of fennel tea... must go shower, than see if I've energy to go out or not

Gosh. A person I know quite well at the pub, has been ill, the past few years... he got a reallly weird cancer affecting I think it is, his Schwann cells (make the mylein sheif round some of your nerve cells).

Anyhow, he's got an opperation through, and is off for it I think tomorrow, or the next day, he was in the pub tonight. he's generally done well with treatment, but had some problems, and the opperation is to remove his leg... from the hip level. yeh. count our blessings I guess. I hope he's strong enough mentally to cope, as he's always been an active kind of guy, walks everywhere etc, and, I'm assuming this will be putting him into a wheelchair, as I don't think prosthetics can work, from hip down Kinda puts things in perspetive sometimes.

Tonight he was in the pub; the pub is doing a sweep stake; most of the money to go to charity; guessing how much weight he'll lose after the opperation (I think he's in on the whole thing, sounds like his morbid sense of humour).
Plus earlier (we missed it), they had a cake; he got to cut the bodies (cakes leg off, and eat it.... yeh... that really is a bit too morbid I think, even for me so hoping he can cope with it all he's such a nice regular guy... (I helped accessibility test a website for him a few years back, for a local struggling but very good pub he was involved with) Mind, talking of missing limbs, we do have a landlord at one of the local really good real ale pubs, who only has one arm, and seems to manage fine

You really are a helluva guy. You're going through all kinds of crap, and you talk about someone else's problems putting yours into perspective, like yours are just piddling little issues compared to his.

You're amazing and I don't know how you do it.

OK, enough of the fangirl stuff

Deb

Shh! you'll make me blush ,blush> - well at least I can still walk around, and constant pain isn't too aweful really; I can useually just process that al away and kinda ignore/blank it ... and I've only been close* to collapsing etc from faintness so far, somehow I never sem to quite tip over the edge as it were actually the physical stuff is sort of all managible, its just being so utterly void and empty inside that is hard, and not being able to sense the world anymore is kinda weird, but, yaknow.... sometimes its not all that* bad I guess... totally Still hoping I can get somewhere with the quacks on Friday at the endo appointment in clinic, and, although I'm trying to not pin my hopes on it, and I'm certainly not looking forward to daily injections for the rest of my unnatural; some people really do get an amazing response to starting growth hormone injections, albeit it can take 6 monhts in some people to see the differnce/feel differnt and I've still got the steorids to play about with; must try using a differnt brand/make, as that made such a differnce for the thyroid meds... plus, there is always possibility of switching from T4 only thyroid meds, to t3/t4 combonation, and if that fails, ordering myself drugs off script from the US and trying the natural desicated thyroid hormone (which some people get on with better but you can't get as far as I know on script in the UK as its not licenced)...

Actually, talking of steorids, may even consider trying back on the hydrocortisone at some point, they made me so ill, but in some ways, differntly ill to how the prednisolone makes me... shall ahve to think, unfortuantely only seems to be one company in the UK licenced to sell hydrocortisone which is annoying as my bad reaction to them could have again all been down to a reaction to the particular make/brand and the fillers/stuff in the tablets that isn't the actual drug/med

Been utterly zombie today; that si the steorids.... just total brain fog, no sensations no sense of the world, just floating light headed, dizzy, distant disconnected etc... but did go into town to pick up my new reindeer socks (grippy house socks) and popped into tpharmacy with W whilst out to pick up his meds and even said 'hello' to the terrifying rusian err, I think she's Russian pharmacist (the really frightening one who is actually so amazingly helpful) mustles not too weak today, whcih is nice, but arms are very aching, left from laying on it in bed last night, where the radiation dammage is, and the left, still from the blood letting the nurse did , err, last Tuesday

and, apparently my brain can't work out left and right anmore

OK.. carefully.... left shoulder that is radiation dammage.... Right forearm, that is the site where the nurse hacked my arm to pieces to try get blood from me, using the blood vessel I absolutely told her not to use under any circumstances...

Happy birthday! (A propos of nothing, except that it's now the 9th.

Anyone have any idea how old I am... in earth years?

You are within an order of magnitude of 42. Of course.

I keep telling everyone I'm either 17 or 20. - 20 is the easiest, as I often give my DOB out wrong, and say 1996 is my birth year anyhow...- althoug I do get odd looks when I tlel teh hospital that

I would take a wild guess - if I didn't know the precise answer

But I aint telling

I'm just wondering what it is in chinchilla years

oo... chinchilla year..... or Bee years of course... or badger years....