h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now.
maybe its just ... my chemo-brain... can't recall if I mentioned the vudu man downstairs, doing his magical preying to cure my blindness.
well. he did. William and I tollerated him, still unsure why; I must be even more hip and zen and cool than ever I was; and I was pretty damn cool to start with; didn't get stressed out for over twenty something years; as evidenced by my pre-existing secondary addisons, and SIADH going undiagnosed for that long; I kinda taught Prince how to be hip, afterall. baby.
Anyhow. clearly I'm now even more zen and cool than even that me was; as I didn't punch the nutter adn his preying to cure my blindness... - sadly he failed to notice my wonderously attuned 'yeh really' facial expressions; most were hidden by my sunglasses at the time.

anyhow. may have already mentioned that. I forget; something, which of course, I can blame on the drugs, maan... and chemo-brain.

My epic fails, in terms o maths, seem to be variable; worked out the change exactly, before the girl at teh chekout did today!; my 'whoops' and little dance/jump of happyness at getting it correct; got a very bermused look from the poor girl at the checkout; it really wasn't that hard a sum to do in ones head!; hmm, of course, her bemused look may have had soemthing to do with the 21 foot of ribbons in my hair, and my being in both collar and leash today. who knows... I probably.... don't exactly fade into teh background with the typical Waitrose customers... especially with my handbag, black leahter boots, black leather trilby and the sunglasses... etc. pah. normality. hmm.


Went to Lush again today yet again.... Nadier .... somhow made the cost of my purchases come to... only £20
I got.... a couple of differnt melts, a couple of bath bombs, a bath bolistic, and a bubble bar, some shower smoothy (new thing to try, not used it before), and, as they're probably discontinueing it, (I think she threw it in for free), a big lump of the putty for my hands hand wash dry stuff which is so gorgeous; and which helped so much whilst on the chemo with my really messed up hands.

New purchase today was the shower smoothy; its a bit hot at the moment, somethings to bath; and soemtimes, even I have to try wash myself, get ready, etc, in less than ... I dunno... four hours so, on such occasions, one needs to shower.

Of course, showering can for many people be a quick exercise. by the time I've washed, exfoliated, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, etc, it rarely seems to be; then theres the whole drying myself, drying my hair, moisturising etc, stuff, to do afterwards

anyhow... thought I'll try their version of 'body wash' or 'shower gel', it'll make a change from teh coconut stuff I useually use - mind, I've still got my coconut exfoliating scrub... may need to get more of that soon from Body shop

As I use the dream cream moisturiser (nadier in Lush even remembered this!), she recommended the one I'd already thought of getting; the dream body smoothy... so I got that.

hmm, also ended up getting a dream bath melt today too. maybe something of a theme going on also got a mango bath melt, and of course, coudln't go into Lush without getting at least one dragon's egg - have two dragon's eggs currently in the box, plus the mango melt, the dream melt, a salt and something bolistic, and err. can't recall... a big blue bolistic/bubble bar I think, and of course, two cargwins couldrends - also have the bag with about... five or so bath bommbs I got fomm the girl on the market... - box is getting heavy



but. one does need balance in ones life; a girl can't go about all day, just buying nice smelling gorgeous soft skin making 'products', because... hmm, actually, why can't I?

- also bought .... a box of eggs, a bag of mixed lettuce/leaf stuff, a bag of frozen chips and... hmm, think that was about it today. 0- still have a ton of straweberries left to eat, and at least two chocolate cheesecakes in the fridge plus, the biggest cucumber... jst the most massive hugest biggest ... cucumber... ever... well... made my eyes water when I saw it on the beg stall... most of that still left

I had to tidy the bedroom up. someone...... threw half a dozen teddybears on to a nearly but not quite asleep D laying in the bed this morning

This heat is not doing my energy levels any good... and I still keep getting hot flushes; independant on teh actual air temp which is annoying... - just hoping my energy is up by the end of the week, for when W and I go away on Thursday; not away long, bak on Saturday, to be sorted here, ready for me to be strapped into my death mask, and pinned to the table, for my radiotherapy Monday... tuesday... Wednesday ... thursday... and friday... - to repeat again each of the following ttwo weeks - have a cunning plan; I may escape Cambridge again, one weekend, during that time... - could have radiotherapy, then go get late train away to my Dad's maybe, getting there on Friday, just right to go straight to the pub/for a meal... and then head back either late Sunday, or if the Monday radiotherapy is late in afternoon, just get an early Monday morning train back, and head straight to my death mask quarters at the hospital - assuming I don't get knocked into oblivion by more fatigue from the radiation


Someone. you know who you are. said something, so loverly, on twitter to me, earlier. awww.

--"You live your life on your own terms. Very few people do."


well. I try. never entirely sure I achieve it... but at least I try.

Think I'll have an early bath soon, then grill up some chicken for dinner... to go with salad. - Must. lose. weight. fat. bald. stupid. if I can at least get one of those gone for now well, OK... I'm not quite bald... but... - no idea how I'm ment to get rid of this 90-year old body I've been given though... damn useless muscles and joints... its... so frustrating....

Right... err. bath, was going to clean the bath; may need a sit down and a cuppa tea after that; not sure to what extent I'm still getting this weird low blood pressure fainty passing out thinggy, every time I bend over, doing things like cleaning the bath... only one way to find out

You probably smell more like a branch of Lush by now than most branches of Lush do.

This is..... quite probably the case - Still think I should be on comission for them... - the amount of times I've advised other chemo patients on which Lush products to buy, for X, Y, or Z! Mind, as much as its useful for that, soemtimes.... its mainly good for treating ones mental zen and realligning chakra IMO hmm. well; I was gona bath, then o dinner... but was on phone so long to my Dad... think I'll do dinner first, so that ties in with taking drugs, then I'll bath later, and ... be able to spend longer doing so true inner tanquility cannot be speeded along. maan. hmm. actually getting peckish now, so may make a start on dinner... grilled chicken thighs I think.... ceaser sald, with emmentile cheese and....... strawberries and cream for dessert... and maybe a cheesecake... or some gataux... and icecream... or ... damnit. I've so gotta lose weight

I'm having pork fillet and chocolate eclairs.

Well, not together on the same plate at the same time, of course!

Chocolate eclairs and choux buns are one of the highest achievements of human civilisation.

the Polish supermarekt near me, does theese giant choclate eclaires! and theyu're so cheap! so so so dangerous! - I'm on a diet now!

I like the rather suggestive German name for them. "Love-bones".

A big creamy love-bone is hard to beat. *snigger*

oddly. that comment. reminds me of the phonecall I had earlier... with my Dad and no. I sharn't expand on that... it'd ruin the effect entirely dinner eaten... not sure if I shoudl have dessert now, or after I have a bath... hmm. maybe part of it now, and more dessert post-bath...

I had a feeling of deja vudu once. Someone told me they'd been sticking pins into a small effigy of me, and I was sure that had happened before.

They traied that on me once. then gave up; apparently now they just stick big pins straight into my body. - sadly that doesn't work anymore either... I just can't feel it no more the vudu man was weird... very weird... and I live nextdoor to him, apparenly. this whole areas been overtaken recently with a ton of jamican and caribien people seemingly coming here... but, oddly, I don't think, living here... they just hang out outside in the street, and then park up their cars to blast out loud music eery night until 5 AM.... If ONly I still stmoked and drank I'd just give up tryng to sleep, and go join them mind makes a change from the underaged teenage white trash who used to ge drunk at the pub nextdoor, before it changed hands... - the day that pub changed hands, a decade's loud noise untio 3 AM, just stopped now, if only I could do soemthing to stop the dawn chorus I might actually sleep a couple of hours some nights - was kinda weird, a while back... when maybe I was less well than I am now... - I did get to the point where I was yelling 'shut up' out of the window, at the dawn chorus. I think that was when I went over 80 hours without sleep, and with having chemo in the middle of that non sleep period - honsetly... this is quite a sane version of me at the moment oo. must go bath I've a box of bath bombs, melts, bolistics, buble bars, and other goodies to go explore

I wonder... am I more or less sane than I used to be? I'm not in a position to judge myself. my brain defiantly isn't the same as it used to be. I think. though its hard to remember sometimes. pah. who wants to be normal and sane anyhow. people keep doing insane things to me, I might as well join in.

Speaking of , I just found a recipe for mousse without cream, without eggs and without added sugar. Should be just as healthy as a salad. It contains avocado, dates, banana and hazelnut butter instead.

The hazelnuts are roasted in a pan, after which the skin can be rubbed off - either by hand or in a . Next, the nuts are blended for 10 to 15 minutes. Along the way whatever is adhering itself to the inside of the blender bowl should be scraped down to the knives every 20-25 seconds.
Blend everything with cocoa powder until even and creamy.
You can season the mousse with cardamom, cinnamon, orange peel, or whatever you prefer.
Store in a cool place for a couple of hours before serving.

my brain is just frizzled now, trying to even follow that recipie in my head complicated ... stuff... is so beyond my post-chemo brain - I can just about make a salad, or a sandwich.... - making a cup of tea seems to inevitably involve burning myself now, I've got useless neuropathic hands/fingers but... fingers are just getting used to being perminatnly scouldered so that's ok; anyhow, I can hardly feel the boiling water

so. so. so. tired. couldn't sleep. kept having hot flushes... and it was silly warm anyhow finally dozed off about 8. got up a bit after 9.

have taken drugs. dusted. swept. hoovered, nearly passed out. eaten took more drugs.


Just sorted out my timetable for radiation.... - tired just looking at it! about the only up side, is that the final one, on the final Friday, is at 4 PM... all being well, I think that calls for a trip straight to the pub afterwards... if I'm in any fit state to drink of course, after three weeks of being zapped
- three weeks..... three weeks of radiation... TBH... - I feel quite - ed up enough already! but... 'people' err... namely two people... but also my oncologist... who scares me too... insist I have to do it therefore do it I must.
just. so. tired... of it all...

but. onwards and upwards - I am sure there is more weird left to discover;
some may be there, hiding during the three weeks of radiation, and some may be lurking on the other side

talking of weird, sent a TXT to a friend, - who lives in the city where W and I are going for our mini break, Thurs to Sat; arranged to meet weird friend in pub, whilst we're there. - He's so not weird anymore. - I've overtaken him by.... several weasils and at least one elk. - too many otters to count. especially given my poor.... abscent mathmatics ability... talking of maths; he's a maths wizz kid... did it at uni a few years ago, part time, whilst doing his day job in a hospital lab -
still not entirely convinced... he... might... you know.... be a little bit.... on 'my' side of the fence as it were... just... kinda get taht vibe... maan... - we were at school together; back about a thousand years ago, and in a universe far far away - my past life does seem that distant right now - in a lot of ways, I think I'm quite like Madonna... - I just reinvent myself every decade or so... - I was overdue a reinvention anyhow... this seems about as good a time as any... perhaps I should have a sex change afterall... I'm getting boared being male My brains.... not like other peoples brains

I've been thinking about using Nut*lla instead of making hazelnut butter. The ingredients in Nut*lla are hazelnuts and , right?

So just blend Nut*lla with avocado, bananas, dates and so on. Might w*rk

m aybe... or just eat the n*****la straight out the jar, with a spoon, of course I'd forgotten that stuff existed! damnit. now its time for dessert.... choc cheesecake, or strawberries and cream, or icecream and gatuaz.... gatauz.... gataux.... hmm. hang on... why not all of them for dessert! huzzah!

Ooh I could do strawberries right now Oddly I've gone off chocolate and deserted desserts on the whole but my waistline appreciates it.

I just had half a big punnet of strawberries with some icecream! - decided to skip the choc cheesecake... - and I'm so gona have to stop buying the stuff like choc and cheesecake; my waisteline needs a serious reduction between now and the end of the eyar.... - its so so so so so unfair!; I thought I was ment to lose weight on chemo/cancer not put it on - my Levi's don't fit me no more and the corset.... is a lot.... err... just not right on me anymore gotta lose circa 14 Lb to get to pre-chemo weight I think